Gwyneth Paltrow says dumb stuff. That much we know is true. Hell, she says and does so much facepalm-y stuff that coming up with new ways to make fun of her actually gets exhausting.
But here’s a big question: When exactly did Gwyneth become the internet’s punching bag?
Surely there was a point before the tide turned and the name “Gwyneth Paltrow” became synonymous with “insufferable idiot”. Since this is a very serious question that deserves a deep dive, the GOAT team decided to go through the many – MANY – “Gwyneth” moments over the last few decades in order to find the origin point of all this hate.
It was a hell of a rage-inducing odyssey but we managed to narrow it down to a few key moments where Gwyneth could’ve plausibly taken on the “butt monkey” tag.
Winning the Best Actress Oscar
Between her ill-fitting pink dress, her blubbering acceptance speech and winning the Oscar over other better performances, the whole night was a cauldron pot of hate-worthy moments for Gwyneth critics.
Naming her daughter “Apple” and other random cringey mum bits
When Gwyneth decided to name her daughter Apple, this felt like a slap in the face for many. Like, who names their kid after a fruit? It’s bonkers.
While this would be nothing compared to the glut of weird celebrity baby names we see these days, it was a bit of an anomaly back in 2004 and it made people think that maybe Gwyneth was a bit of a lemon.
Then there’s all the weird stuff she’s said and done since she’s become a mother, like posting photos of Apple without permission and telling folks – without irony – that being a mum is harder for an actress than someone with an office job.
Heavy front-runner this one.
“Conscious uncoupling”
The whole divorce announcement was actually really nice since it was made clear that there was still much love and respect, but Gwyneth labeling it “conscious uncoupling” pushed it from “awww” and straight into “oh for god’s sake.”
Why couldn’t she just go with a simple “we’re breaking up” announcement, Gwyneth?
No wonder why her new husband can only stand to hang out with her a few days a week.
Plugging her weird Goop stuff
Hoo boy, where do we even begin with the dumpster fire of a lifestyle brand that is Goop.
There’s the ridiculously expensive health fads, the absolutely bonkers gift guides, promoting the shoving of jade eggs up people’s vaginas as a positive thing, and just making up weird crap for her website. And that’s just from the last few months.
Enough said.
Forgetting she was in a bunch of Marvel movies
The last thing you want to do is piss off comic book fans and Gwyneth somehow managed to do it by simply forgetting that she’s been in some of the biggest Marvel films ever.
In her defence, she’s been in seven Marvel films so it can get a little hazy but try telling that to annoyed fanboys.