Bleats

Gwyenth Paltrow Has No Clue Which Marvel Movies She's In And Same, TBH

To be fair, 22 movies over a decade is a lot to keep up with.

Gwyneth Paltrow says weird stuff. It’s a proven fact and there’s really no disputing it. I mean, who goes around telling people that they’re the one responsible for making yoga popular?

For the latest addition to her list of strange vocal faux pas, she’s dropped a hell of a doozy regarding her time working on the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Do tell me more…

During her appearance on Jon Faveau’s new Netflix show, The Chef Show, the two were just chatting away while cooking a Goop-friendly version of a “pepperpot” (geddit? it’s like her character in… never mind) when the topic of the pair’s history with Marvel came up.

As Jon started explaining how The Chef Show idea came up when he was filming Spider-Man: Homecoming with her, Gwyneth replied that they had never worked on that film together while skillfully zesting citrus. What seemed like a joke at first quickly revealed itself to be genuine as she honestly sounded like she had no clue about Spider-Man and was insistent that she was only in The Avengers and Iron Man movies. Mark of a good actress I suppose.

After a bit of back and forth between Jon and Gwyneth (and some helpful interjections from chef Roy Choi), he was eventually able to convince her that they were indeed in Homecoming together. Look, I don’t blame you, Gwyneth, I’ve lost track of what Marvel movies you’ve been in as well.

Now in her defence, there are 22 Marvel films (and counting) so it’s a little easy to get a bit lost even though you’ve worked on some of them. Throw in Marvel’s tendency to keep everything under lock and key from everyone, including their actors, it’s perhaps no surprise that Gwyneth had no clue she was in Homecoming. She honestly probably thought she was in Iron Man 4 or something.

For those who need a refresher (including Gwyneth), here’s her scene in Homecoming:

We’ve had extensive oral histories on the MCU from various people but I now suddenly want to hear everything about Marvel exclusively from Gwyneth’s point of view. That would be absolutely amazing and unintentionally hilarious.

The Good Place Is Going To The Very Bad Place Forever: The Bin

What will we do without Ted Danson, Eleanor, Janet, Tahani, Jason, and Chidi's abs?

We have some really bad news for all you motherforkers out there: The Good Place the most important show on TV– aka – is going to the Bad Place forever and it’s never coming back.

It really is, Eleanor…

Speaking at an “Emmy For Your Consideration” panel (via Entertainment Weekly), the show’s creator, Mike Schur, revealed that he plans on wrapping up The Good Place with its upcoming fourth season. Now before you get the pitchforks out over the network cancelling the show, Schur came to this  decision after mapping everything out after season two and he feels like it’s time to end it on a high note, saying:

“At times over the past few years we’ve been tempted to go beyond four seasons, but mostly because making this show is a rare, creatively fulfilling joy, and at the end of the day, we don’t want to tread water just because the water is so warm and pleasant. As such, the upcoming fourth season will be our last.”

Look, I absolutely adore The Good Place but too much of a good thing can be bad and Schur’s decision to end the show at its peak is the right one. After all, you don’t want to be one of those shows that hangs around so long that we’re all begging for it to be cancelled.

There’s no word on when season four will arrive so that’ll give us time to rewatch all the previous episodes and get supremely upset that over things we’ll miss, like Eleanor being awful, Ted Danson being the best thing on earth, Janet doing weird Janet things, Chidi’s six pack absJason being a lovable idiot, and Tahani being an absolute queen.

That being said, I won’t miss those awful Australian accents. Those can go to the Bad Place forever.

We Broke Down The Most Popular Hollywood Cinematic Universes So You Don't Have To

Slow down with all the universes, Hollywood, please.

Ever since Marvel kicked off the whole cinematic universe fad with 2008’s Iron Man, it seems like every Hollywood studio has tried to launch their own shared universe thingy with varying results.

With so many movies seemingly linked together with common characters and recurring plot points, it’s all become a bit of a fustercluck for the average moviegoer to keep up. But fear not as I’m here to break down all the cinematic universes that are popular these days so you know what the lowdown is and what order you should watch all the films.

Now because there have been so many failed and concluded universes, I’m not counting those with only one film entry (sorry Dark Universe), have not had a new entry for ages, or any TV shows that take place in the same universe.

Marvel Cinematic Universe

Ah the most popular shared film universe that’s the envy of Hollywood studios these days. However, the chronology is absolutely shambolic as not only are there a whopping 23 films and counting, Marvel frequently jump from time period to time period depending on the movie.

So if you want the best Marvel Cinematic Universe viewing experience, ignore all the release dates because this is the chronological order you’ll want to watch all the films:

  1. Captain America: The First Avenger
  2. Captain Marvel
  3. Iron Man
  4. Iron Man 2
  5. The Incredible Hulk
  6. Thor
  7. The Avengers
  8. Iron Man 3
  9. Thor: The Dark World
  10. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
  11. Guardians of the Galaxy
  12. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2
  13. Avengers: Age of Ultron
  14. Ant-Man
  15. Captain America: Civil War
  16. Doctor Strange
  17. Black Panther
  18. Spider-Man: Homecoming
  19. Thor: Ragnarok
  20. Ant-Man and the Wasp
  21. Avengers: Infinity War
  22. Avengers: Endgame
  23. Spider-Man: Far From Home

Star Wars

The Star Wars cinematic universe is actually pretty easy to follow since all the main films have a convenient “Episode *insert Roman number*” subtitle. However, it’s the new slate of spin-off anthology films that muddy the waters a bit. Luckily, those fit into the chronological watching order pretty cleanly:

  1. Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
  2. Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
  3. Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
  4. Solo: A Star Wars Story
  5. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
  6. Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope
  7. Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
  8. Star Wars Episode VI: The Return of the Jedi
  9. Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens
  10. Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi
  11. Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker

DC Extended Universe

This one is a bit of a weird one so bear with me. It all started with Man of Steel but things went a bit pear-shaped when the next couple of films got scathing reviews so DC’s plan to launch a Marvel-esque universe took a bit of a backseat. Since then, all subsequent films were all positioned as relatively standalone flicks but still linked to the shared “DC” universe though it seems like they’ve given up on any more “team-up” movies for now.

It’s a bit of a rollercoaster fustercluck to be honest, not unlike the quality of the films actually. Anyway, watch them in this order:

  1. Wonder Woman
  2. Wonder Woman 1984 (when it comes out)
  3. Man of Steel
  4. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
  5. Suicide Squad
  6. Justice League
  7. Aquaman
  8. Shazam!

MonsterVerse

One of Hollywood’s newest cinematic universes that is directly inspired by all those Japanese Godzilla flicks from yesteryear. Since there’s only been three movies so far, it won’t take you too long to get up to speed, though you’ll want to watch it in this order if you want to do it properly:

X-Men

Good grief, where to begin. There was the initial trilogy of X-Men movies before they decided to soft reboot the series with another trilogy of films. Throw in a bunch of solo Wolverine films and a some inconsistent time travel plot devices and what you get is an absolute mess of watching chronology.

Look, I tried my best with this one so don’t @ me:

  1. X-Men: First Class
  2. X-Men: Days of Future Past

Here’s where the timeline splits into two. For timeline A, the order is:

  • X-Men Origins: Wolverine
  • X-Men
  • X2: X-Men United
  • X-Men: The Last Stand
  • The Wolverine

For the second timeline (which we’ll call “B”), the order is:

  • X-Men: Apocalypse
  • X-Men: Dark Phoenix
  • Deadpool
  • Deadpool 2
  • Logan

Not if it works, Wade!

Spider-Man/Amazing Spider-Man/Venom/Whatever Sony are doing

We’re getting into weird territory here so let me quickly explain. Sony initially had the rights to Spider-Man, which is why they made the first few Spider-Man movies (starring Tobey Maguire) instead of Marvel. But after an unsuccessful reboot attempt, Sony struck a deal with Marvel and that’s how Spider-Man: Homecoming came to be. That being said, Sony are still making their own Spidey cinematic universe independent of Marvel’s. In conclusion, it is messier than a high school break up.

Luckily, there aren’t too many movies to sort through so the watching order is pretty simple. When it comes to quality though, well, that’s another article altogether.

  1. Spider-Man
  2. Spider-Man 2
  3. Spider-Man 3

The universe was then rebooted with Andrew Garfield as Spidey and we got two awful movies:

  1. The Amazing Spider-Man
  2. The Amazing Spider-Man 2

The reboot flopped and so Sony rebooted its universe again but this time with Venom as the main character. Yeah, I don’t get it either but whatever:

  1. Venom
  2. Morbius (still to come, whenever it comes)

Is it though?

Planet of the Apes

The Apes franchise has had a storied history over the decades but the one we’re interested in is the most recent iteration of the universe, which were arguably the most critically-acclaimed entries of the entire series.

Not counting the old movies, there are only three films (so far) in the rebooted universe but all have titles that are exactly the same save for one word, which can make things confusing. Don’t worry though, I gotchu:

  1. Rise of the Planet of the Apes
  2. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
  3. War of the Planet of the Apes

Them’s the eyes of a great film trilogy.

Pixar

There was a theory that every Pixar film takes place in the same universe, which is incredibly convincing though unconfirmed by the studio. But seeing as how familiar characters and Easter eggs pop in for cameos in every movie, I’m assuming this is a cinematic universe until Pixar tell me otherwise.

While you can watch nearly any Pixar film in any order and it’ll still make sense, the chronological order is something wildly different to the release order:

  1. The Good Dinosaur
  2. Brave
  3. The Incredibles
  4. Incredibles 2
  5. Toy Story 
  6. Toy Story 2
  7. Finding Nemo
  8. Finding Dory
  9. Ratatouille
  10. Toy Story 3
  11. Toy Story 4
  12. Up
  13. Inside Out
  14. Coco
  15. Cars
  16. Cars 2
  17. Cars 3
  18. WALL-E
  19. A Bug’s Life
  20. Monster’s University
  21. Monster’s Inc
  22. Onward (assumed)

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