Everyone has regretted something they’ve done or said in the past, whether it’s folding instead of scrunching, accidentally sending an embarrassing message, or listening to a heap of Elvis Presley before realising what a creep he was.
For Mark Wahlberg, he regrets being in Boogie Nights. You know, the critically-acclaimed Paul Thomas Anderson film that is considered a classic and gave him his big dramatic break in Hollywood.
He says it’s all because of his Catholic faith and how he doesn’t want to explain to his kids why he’s in a film about porn. Uh huh. Well this excuse isn’t quite up there with flat earthers defending their beliefs but not too far off it either.
Look Mark, we all regret some of the work we’ve done in the past but perhaps you should worry about your past choices than your movie roles. Let’s list some of them, shall we?
Remember that time you beat up two Vietnamese men while shouting racist slurs at them?
Or the times when you thought it was a good idea to throw rocks at black children while chanting “kill the n******”?
What about when you decided to fracture your neighbour’s jaw in an attack that was completely unprovoked?
That was a few decades ago when you were a younger man and I’d like to think you would’ve grown up a bit since then since you’ve got kids and found Jesus. But then you just had to try and get that 2014 pardon for your past convictions.
Nothing screams redemption than trying to get formal public recognition that you’re a good person while highlighting that it is possible to erase your dodgy past if you’re a wealthy white man.
Bold strategy, champ. At least you had the decency to drop the request… two years later.
Maybe stick to things like making weird comments about how you think you could’ve stopped 9/11, glorifying recent tragedies like the Boston Marathon bombing by making films about them and inserting yourself as the (fictional) hero character, or making shows like Entourage, Ballers and Wahlburgersas some kind of wish fulfillment fantasy.
And if you just had to regret a movie role you did in the past, at least make it somewhat believable like Transformers: Age of Extinction or Ted 2 and not a movie that consistently makes “greatest films of all time” lists.