Bleats

Elvis Presley Preyed On Teenage Girls, And No Amount Of Hit Songs Can Erase That

Just a hunk of illegal, underaged love.

Despite having left this green(ish) earth while sitting on the bog in 1977, Elvis Presley’s cultural capital stubbornly refuses to go away. You know you’ve got a hell of a lot of pop-culture relevance when there’s an annual festival and a Baz Luhrmann biopic of you in the works.

But for all the impact he had on music and entertainment as the “King of Rock n’ Roll”, Elvis was also into something that’s incredibly wrong and will make you rethink whether we should even be celebrating him in the first place: preying on underage teenage girls.

When Elvis’ rocketed to fame in the 1950s, he soon had swarms of young, screaming women following his every move. So like any rock star, he took advantage of the admiration these women had for him, which isn’t that uncommon except for the fact that the women were only 14 years old.

Joel Williamson’s biography, Elvis Presley: A Southern Life, details some of his extremely questionable exploits, such as preying on three 14-year-old girls while on tour, accidentally getting a fan pregnant and leaving her at the hospital to get an abortion, and obsessively calling his 15-year-old girlfriend, Dixie Locke, while he was getting up to no good with all his underage groupies.

When Elvis met his first and only wife, Priscilla, she was only 14 years old whereas he was 24. The “ick” factor gets cranked up a few notches as Priscilla details in her memoir, Elvis and Me, that he did basically everything to her but penetrative sex until they were married in 1967 when she was 22. Guess they were following the “the tip doesn’t count” rule.

While this “no sex before marriage but everything else is fair game” thing was disputed by Suzanne Finstad’s biography on Priscilla, it is documented that Elvis would bring home other women so he can have threesomes involving his wife or would just side on the sidelines as a horny spectator while they went at it.

As a sour cherry on top, Williamson also writes in his biography how Elvis would install two-way mirrors in his Palm Springs home so he could spy on couples getting freaky during the crazy parties he would throw.

So not only was Elvis into teenagers and group stuff, he was also a creepy voyeur.

Elvis may have preyed on underaged girls and spied on people having sex but at least he didn’t abuse anyon – *checks notes* – oh wait, he did.

When Priscilla cheated on Elvis, she writes in her memoir that after telling him he “forcefully made love” to her while saying “This is how a real man makes love to his woman”.

Okay, but at least he didn’t go around firing guns dangerously in a deranged state – *checks more notes* – hang on, he also did that.

In Ginger Alden’s memoir, Elvis & Ginger, she details some of Elvis’ abuse, including one incident when they were in bed and she woke up to the sound of him firing a pistol off and calling it an “attention getter.”

Yeah, there’s no defending Elvis at all, he’s the worst.

It’s long overdue, Elvis.

There’s no denying that Elvis had in incredible impact on the entertainment world during his lifetime. But there’s also no denying that the “King of Rock n’ Roll” was also an awful human being with some seriously twisted tendencies and should’ve been thrown in the cancelled bin – and a jail cell – long before he died.

It’s perhaps fitting that Elvis Presley ultimately got shuffled off this mortal coil while sitting on the bog. It’s what a predator like him deserves.

Zendaya Has Revived The Larry Stylinson Conspiracy And Louis Tomlinson Isn’t Happy

Pandora's box has been opened. Again.

I worked in K-pop for years and have dealt with the rollercoaster ride that is intense fandoms, particularly BTS fans. And despite seeing a lot of crazy stuff happen, the intense obsession that surrounds super popular boy bands continue to astound and surprise me in ways I never expected.

Case in point: Today I learned all about the “Larry Stylinson” One Direction conspiracy.

For those who are unaware, Larry Stylinson was a massive fan conspiracy that Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles were secretly dating in the first few years of 1D but had to hide it/get fake girlfriends because management thought the group won’t be to able to sell records to their female fanbase if girls didn’t think they had a chance with the pair.

Despite Louis denying this whole conspiracy and Harry not saying anything about it, the fanbase were adamant about this, which led to a boom in Larry Stylinson fanfics because people just wanted it to be true so frigging badly.

I bring this conspiracy up in 2019 because it has caught fire once again thanks to Zendaya and a scene from her teen drama show, Euphoria.

During the scene, Zendaya is narrating some Larry Stylinson fanfiction written by one of the show’s main characters. Not only is the fanfic an incredibly, uh, descriptive piece of Harry comforting a nervous Louis before a concert with oral sex, it is all depicted visually through some very striking animation. The fanfic is a bit meh but it at least looks great.

Needless to say that this scene from Euphoria stirred up the buzz (and loins) Larry Stylinson fans and it started blowing up online all over again.

In fact, it caught so much attention that Louis commented on his Twitter that he was not contacted nor does he approve of Euphoria‘s use of the whole Larry Stylinson thing.

Since revisiting some crazy 1D conspiracy from over five years ago isn’t enough tea already, some K-pop stans have decided to chime in with their own conspiracy by trending the hashtag, #harrystylesisgoingtojailparty, on social media.

This secondary conspiracy claims that Harry approved Zendaya’s reading of that Larry Stylinson fanfic and allowed it to be incorporated into Euphoria‘s script. Unsurprisingly, it has stirred the pot something fierce and sparked something potentially terrifying between One Directioners and Kpoppers.

Take cover, everyone.

It’s like the boy band fandom equivalent of an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object and it’ll only end in a brutal stalemate after oodles of wanton destruction.

This whole #harrystylesisgoingtojailparty thing by Kpop fans came out of nowhere and makes no sense, but it is perhaps best summarised with this tweet:

I have no idea how this whole saga is going to end but my advice is to hole up in a bunker somewhere and avoid the internet for a few days while this whole Larry Stylinson/Kpop vs 1Ders thing blows over.

For what it’s worth, Harry has yet to comment on this whole saga. Make of that what you will.

5SOS' Gig To Support Young Aussies Proves They Will Never Forget Their Roots, Bless 'Em

Wear it like armour and use it for a good cause.

Not many people know this but I was born and raised in Parkes, which is in the middle of rural New South Wales. When I moved to Sydney, I tried to keep this little fact on the DL because I didn’t think it was anything worth noting to people.

I never thought I would say this but I think I should take a leaf out of 5 Seconds of Summer’s book by proudly embracing my roots and use it for a good cause.

The quartet grew up in Western Sydney near Blacktown before making it big, but they definitely haven’t forgotten where they came from because they’ve announced that they’re putting on a special concert at The Factory Theatre in Marrickville as part of their “Friends of Friends” initiative.

For those who are unaware, the Friends of Friends is 5SOS’ clothing line and all the funds raised go to regional charitable causes.

What makes their July 3 Marrickville concert particularly special is that all the proceeds will be going to the Blacktown Youth Services Association, which is “a social impact organisation dedicated to nurturing young people and creating social change in the community” and a place that’s close to where the lads all grew up.

Just to make this little gig even juicier, 5SOS have decided to bring along Amy Shark, Genesis Owusu, and The Modern Glitch for the ride.

It’s quite heartwarming to see the band wholeheartedly embrace their western Sydney roots while parlaying their success into a good cause that’s close to their hearts.

Good onya, 5SOS, you’re all champs.

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