Bleats

Mark Wahlberg Should Worry His Dodgy Past Instead Of Regretting His Movie Choices

If you're going to regret your movie choices, at least go with something believable like Transformers: Age of Extinction.

Everyone has regretted something they’ve done or said in the past, whether it’s folding instead of scrunching, accidentally sending an embarrassing message, or listening to a heap of Elvis Presley before realising what a creep he was.

For Mark Wahlberg, he regrets being in Boogie Nights. You know, the critically-acclaimed Paul Thomas Anderson film that is considered a classic and gave him his big dramatic break in Hollywood.

He says it’s all because of his Catholic faith and how he doesn’t want to explain to his kids why he’s in a film about porn. Uh huh. Well this excuse isn’t quite up there with flat earthers defending their beliefs but not too far off it either.

Look Mark, we all regret some of the work we’ve done in the past but perhaps you should worry about your past choices than your movie roles. Let’s list some of them, shall we?

Remember that time you beat up two Vietnamese men while shouting racist slurs at them?

Or the times when you thought it was a good idea to throw rocks at black children while chanting “kill the n******”?

What about when you decided to fracture your neighbour’s jaw in an attack that was completely unprovoked?

That was a few decades ago when you were a younger man and I’d like to think you would’ve grown up a bit since then since you’ve got kids and found Jesus. But then you just had to try and get that 2014 pardon for your past convictions.

Nothing screams redemption than trying to get formal public recognition that you’re a good person while highlighting that it is possible to erase your dodgy past if you’re a wealthy white man.

Bold strategy, champ. At least you had the decency to drop the request… two years later.

Maybe stick to things like making weird comments about how you think you could’ve stopped 9/11, glorifying recent tragedies like the Boston Marathon bombing by making films about them and inserting yourself as the (fictional) hero character, or making shows like Entourage, Ballers and Wahlburgersas some kind of wish fulfillment fantasy.

And if you just had to regret a movie role you did in the past, at least make it somewhat believable like Transformers: Age of Extinction or Ted 2 and not a movie that consistently makes “greatest films of all time” lists.

Never Forget The Lack Of Response When Megan Fox Spoke Up Against Michael Bay

Who would've thought two crappy Transformers movies would be the biggest thing she'll ever do?

The year was 2009. Kevin Rudd was still PM, climate change was still somewhat manageable, and Hollywood crapped out the incoherent mess that was Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

Awful doesn’t begin to describe the film but it did give the world Megan Fox, who quickly became the hottest person and topic in Hollywood. But as quickly as she rose up to every “hottest woman” list in Tinseltown, she dropped off the radar even quicker.

So what exactly happened that caused Megan to lose all that buzz she had going for her in 2009? Well, the answer starts with Michael Bay, moves onto Hitler, and ends with Steven Spielberg.

You’re gonna need a lot more popcorn for this.

After Revenge of the Fallen came out, Megan gave a now-notorious interview with Wonderland magazine where she spilled tea all over the place by comparing her experience of working with Bay to Hitler and Napoleon, as well as how his direction basically consisted of him telling her to “be hot.”

“He wants to be like Hitler on his sets, and he is. So he’s a nightmare to work for but when you get him away from set, and he’s not in director mode, I kind of really enjoy his personality because he’s so awkward, so hopelessly awkward.”

There’s nothing wrong with calling out questionable behaviour from a director on a movie set, especially one with a dodgy history of sexist behaviour like Michael Bay. But there is definitely something wrong with how she went about it. She could’ve brought up literally any other comparison to hold Bay accountable and yet she just had to go with Hitler.

Okay, so Megan’s Hitler comment was in poor taste but her comments about Bay and calling out his behaviour remain valid. But rather than having people flock to her side in support, no one made a whisper.

Not only did she evoke Godwin’s law, Hollywood is primarily run by Jewish people so bringing up the toothbrush mustachioed dictator is like taking a dump on the Mona Lisa while Da Vinci is watching.

Steven Spielberg – who is basically Hollywood’s most powerful director, an executive producer on the Transformers movies, and most importantly for this whole saga, Jewish – supposedly later caught wind of Megan’s comments and basically put the nail in the coffin in her career by basically blacklisting her from Hollywood.

According to Bay in an interview with GQ, Spielberg urged him to “fire [Megan] right now”, hence why she doesn’t appear in the third Transformers movie. As a bonus, he also gave a pretty gross non-apology for his behaviour when directing her on Revenge of the Fallen.

“I wasn’t hurt, because I know that’s just Megan. Megan loves to get a response. And she does it in kind of the wrong way. I’m sorry, Megan. I’m sorry I made you work twelve hours. I’m sorry that I’m making you show up on time. Movies are not always warm and fuzzy.”

Everything gets a bit fuzzy at this point due to conflicting versions of what went down after Megan’s Hitler comment and Bay’s response. Spielberg denied telling Bay to fire Megan while her reps issued a statement saying that it was her choice to leave the Transformers franchise.

We’ll probably never know what actually happened and whether Spielberg actually did blacklist Megan from Hollywood. What we do know is that there was a heap of slanderous things allegedly said in the press about her by Bay’s Transformers crew and her career took a dramatic nosedive.

After 2009, Megan’s resume went from high profile blockbusters to small indies and she suddenly fell off all the “hottest women” lists as quickly as she arrived. Looking back on it in 2017, Megan called that period the “low point of [her] career“, though I’d argue that her career floor will forever remain the Transformers movies.

Her career eventually revived a bit by 2014 as she and Bay eventually put their spat behind them and teamed up again for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot movies, as well as a well-received recurring part on the TV sitcom New Girl.

But the damage has already been done to her career and it was all because she spoke out about the dodgy stuff she experienced in Hollywood. Even now with the #MeToo movement underway, Megan still carries the stench of what went down 10 years ago and is reluctant to share her stories as she did before, telling The New York Times:

“I don’t know that I want to feel anything about it because my words were taken and used against me in a way that was — at that time in my life, at that age and dealing with that level of fame — really painful.

“I don’t want to say this about myself, but let’s say that I was ahead of my time and so people weren’t able to understand. Instead, I was rejected because of qualities that are now being praised in other women coming forward.”

It’s quite disheartening to see someone who was originally as outspoken as Megan become so reluctant to speak out due to the muzzle Hollywood forced on her. It’s time we remember what went down in 2009 and never forget all the unwarranted blame she had to shoulder when she tried to do the right thing.

Elvis Presley Preyed On Teenage Girls, And No Amount Of Hit Songs Can Erase That

Just a hunk of illegal, underaged love.

Despite having left this green(ish) earth while sitting on the bog in 1977, Elvis Presley’s cultural capital stubbornly refuses to go away. You know you’ve got a hell of a lot of pop-culture relevance when there’s an annual festival and a Baz Luhrmann biopic of you in the works.

But for all the impact he had on music and entertainment as the “King of Rock n’ Roll”, Elvis was also into something that’s incredibly wrong and will make you rethink whether we should even be celebrating him in the first place: preying on underage teenage girls.

When Elvis’ rocketed to fame in the 1950s, he soon had swarms of young, screaming women following his every move. So like any rock star, he took advantage of the admiration these women had for him, which isn’t that uncommon except for the fact that the women were only 14 years old.

Joel Williamson’s biography, Elvis Presley: A Southern Life, details some of his extremely questionable exploits, such as preying on three 14-year-old girls while on tour, accidentally getting a fan pregnant and leaving her at the hospital to get an abortion, and obsessively calling his 15-year-old girlfriend, Dixie Locke, while he was getting up to no good with all his underage groupies.

When Elvis met his first and only wife, Priscilla, she was only 14 years old whereas he was 24. The “ick” factor gets cranked up a few notches as Priscilla details in her memoir, Elvis and Me, that he did basically everything to her but penetrative sex until they were married in 1967 when she was 22. Guess they were following the “the tip doesn’t count” rule.

While this “no sex before marriage but everything else is fair game” thing was disputed by Suzanne Finstad’s biography on Priscilla, it is documented that Elvis would bring home other women so he can have threesomes involving his wife or would just side on the sidelines as a horny spectator while they went at it.

As a sour cherry on top, Williamson also writes in his biography how Elvis would install two-way mirrors in his Palm Springs home so he could spy on couples getting freaky during the crazy parties he would throw.

So not only was Elvis into teenagers and group stuff, he was also a creepy voyeur.

Elvis may have preyed on underaged girls and spied on people having sex but at least he didn’t abuse anyon – *checks notes* – oh wait, he did.

When Priscilla cheated on Elvis, she writes in her memoir that after telling him he “forcefully made love” to her while saying “This is how a real man makes love to his woman”.

Okay, but at least he didn’t go around firing guns dangerously in a deranged state – *checks more notes* – hang on, he also did that.

In Ginger Alden’s memoir, Elvis & Ginger, she details some of Elvis’ abuse, including one incident when they were in bed and she woke up to the sound of him firing a pistol off and calling it an “attention getter.”

Yeah, there’s no defending Elvis at all, he’s the worst.

It’s long overdue, Elvis.

There’s no denying that Elvis had in incredible impact on the entertainment world during his lifetime. But there’s also no denying that the “King of Rock n’ Roll” was also an awful human being with some seriously twisted tendencies and should’ve been thrown in the cancelled bin – and a jail cell – long before he died.

It’s perhaps fitting that Elvis ultimately got shuffled off this mortal coil while sitting on the bog. It’s what a predator like him deserves.

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