As we scurry along the culvert towards The Bachelor’s concluding overflow drain it’s time to look at the final three and reflect on the fact that one person deserves to win, and that person is Abbie Chatfield.
Yes, Abbie. The one that the show and the internet and broader Australian society has decided is the villain.
She’s the best and should win.
The reasons are many, but the big one is that she wants to win and is prepared to do whatever it takes. That sort of ruthlessnes would be praised to the skies if she was a dude.
Also, we clearly enjoy rewarding people who can just baldly lie about something which is provably true.
That moment when Abbie attempted to convince Matt that she doesn’t even know what is this “social media” he speaks of? Amazing. Especially since, if he’d had his phone on him, he could have very swiftly checked out her bikini-shot-filled Instagram.
Heck, at a time when the president of the US can draw on a hurricane map to back up a mistake in his own tweet and our own PM can claim he never ever ever called Sam Dastyari “Shanghai Sam” despite there being video evidence and a tweet in his timeline, clearly just outright fibbing about things is quality leadership in 2019.
On a less facetious note, though, she and Matt have mad sexual chemistry, and every monogamous relationship which doesn’t have that is either doomed or going to slowly kill the people in said relationship.
And sure, relationships aren’t all about sex, but also: yes they are totally about sex. Especially if you’re making a commitment to only have sex with that one person for decades after decades: then you really want to have a heck of good bonk-bond.
Sure, she won’t win – as we’ve argued before, they wouldn’t have spent the entire series training the audience to hiss at the screen every time she appears if she wasn’t getting some narratively satisfying comeuppance. Abbie will not win The Bachelor, that’s obvious – but if she did, OH WHAT A TWIST!
Anyway, in a more realistic show Abbie would have won this weeks ago. And already dumped Matt for someone more fun.