Old mate Gwyneth Paltrow has copped it a lot over the years for her very – how can I put this nicely – niche lifestyle brand Goop.
Described as a “natural health company”, Goop sells every health-related thing you can imagine from candles, to clothes, right through to crystal, vibrators, and solid 18 karat gold dumbbells. But that’s not all – Goop also offers woke “new age” advice in its weekly newsletter, including spooking health practices like vaginal steaming.
There’s been many a time Goop and its unique content has made me question my own health practices and wonder if I’m sane for not knowing what a yoni egg is or just naive.
But it turns out not even Gweny herself knows what the hell is being sold by her own brand. I feel equal parts relieved and concerned.
Relieved because I’m not alone, concerned because if there’s one person who should know what a brand is selling it should be the brand’s owner.
Gwyneth appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live! and was asked about a handful of Goop products, most of which she had obviously never seen before.
She was totally unable to explain why the company sold a water bottle containing a massive amethyst, or bottles of camel milk, and was clearly unacquainted with the Bart Simpson-shaped vibrator Jimmy presented to her.
“There’s a lot of alternative milk on the market,” Gwyneth tried to explain talking about the camel milk. ” “Apparently it’s really from camel …” she said, squinting at the jug. “They purport to have more vitamins.”
What do you mean it’s “apparently” from a camel Gwyneth – aren’t you supposed to know these things?
This isn’t the first time Gwen hasn’t known about something she probably should know about. She’s famously forgotten her Marvel co-stars despite having worked with some of them for over a decade, and she didn’t know she was in Spider-Man: Homecoming.
Does Goop sell something for memory? If it does, someone get it to Gwyneth stat.