Even If You Take Your Contraceptive Pill Perfectly, Your DNA Might Just Be Screwing You Over

1 in 20 women have a genetic mutation that could be messing with their pill.

As if it wasn’t bad enough that women have been taking the pill wrong for 60 years because of the Pope, now it turns out that our own genes might be messing with these crucial meds.

Yep: all those medical warnings and patronising stats about “imperfect use” leading to unplanned pregnancies might just have been dragged to hell.

A new study has found that an estimated 5% of women – that’s one in 20, for my fellow mathletes out there – have a DNA mutation that breaks down the hormones used in birth control.

The gene studied here makes your body produce higher levels of an enzyme that basically dismantles the hormones suppressing ovulation, meaning there’s a higher chance of accidental pregnancy – even if you’re taking the pill on time, every day, and skip the sugar pills.

Thanks, Mr DNA!

The study followed 350 women with a contraceptive implant and sequences their DNA, and it’s one of the first research projects to look at how an individual’s genetic makeup can affect the effectiveness of their birth control.

Maybe she’s taking the pill wrong. Maybe she’s born with it, DOCTOR SNARKY-PANTS.

The failure rate of oral contraceptives is around 7-9%, which is high for a hormonal birth control method.

If 5% of women have this gene mutation, that means one in twenty women who are taking the pill have it.

This suggests more than half of that failure rate could potentially be due to factors beyond their control, and not just being “imperfect”.

“When a woman says she got pregnant while on birth control the assumption was always that it was somehow her fault,” said Dr Aaron Lazorwitz, the study’s lead author

“These findings show that we should listen to our patients and consider if there is something in their genes that caused this.”

More research is needed, but Lazorwitz is on it – and this finding points to a future where finding the right birth control isn’t just a lifelong process of trial, error, and being super mad at your body most of the time.

Gwyneth Paltrow Says She 'Didn't Understand' She Couldn't Just Make Things Up For Her Goop Website

Someone's got jade egg on their face.

Gwyneth Paltrow dabbles in acting in the odd superhero movie.

But the rest of the time, she’s steaming her vagina, inventing yogagetting sued for telling people to put jade eggs up their vaginas, getting a Netflix show anyway, or recommending you buy your mum a casual Spanish village for Christmas – and then periodically having to explain all of the above.

At a talk at South by Southwest festival in Austin, Paltrow revealed that many of the more bizarre moments Goop is famous for actually happened because they thought they could just kind of make s**t up.

“We didn’t understand that you can’t make certain claims,” Paltrow said.

“We just thought we were like, writing a blog.”

Good to know Gwyneth holds herself to such a rigorous editorial and commercial standard.


She called the jade egg settlement a “painful lesson” and added that team Goop “just like to ask questions”.

Paltrow said the brand has now hired “a regulatory team and in-house scientists and lawyers”, and they’re “all buttoned up”.

She was also asked about her appearance on Saturday Night Live over the previous weekend, where she cameoed as a Goop employee who can’t explain what an expensive jar of salt scrub actually does (“As we all know, salt is angry sugar”).

Paltrow explained that it is also important to have a sense of humour when you’re being criticised and sued for being full of it.

“As they say in Buddhism, to live is to struggle, to suffer. And so I think you really have to have a sense of humor about it as you go through it.”

I guess if you’ve already got a jade egg up your vag, it’d be a bit uncomfortable to have a stick up your arse as well.

A Teenager Fell Into A Coma And Woke Up With A Baby And That's Just The Start Of The Story

Prepare for your jaw to hit the floor.

We’ve all heard tales of people who went into labour not even knowing they were pregnant – there’s even a whole show about it. But this latest one is next level.

18-year-old college student Ebony Stevenson went to bed with a headache in early December, and was then hospitalised when she began having seizures.

The paramedics then told her shocked mother that the unconscious teenager was pregnant and suffering from the potentially fatal condition pre-eclampsia, despite showing no signs of pregnancy – until Stevenson’s mother noticed there was, in fact, a bump.

The seizures were so intense that it’s thought the baby shifted so the bump was suddenly visible.

How was she able to carry a baby to full term without knowing?

Not only did she not have a visible bump or any morning sickness, it turns out she also has a rare condition called uterus didelphys – meaning she has two wombs.

One at the front, which had continued her regular periods, and one toward the back, which had grown – and hidden – the baby the whole time.

The baby was born by emergency caesarian section just three hours after the first seizure – and the first Stevenson knew of it was when she woke up from her coma several days later, and her newborn daughter was placed on her chest.

“Meeting my baby was so surreal. It felt like an out-of-body experience,” she said, according to the BBC.

“It sounds awful now, but I asked them to take her away as I was so confused and sure they’d made a mistake.”

“But my mum explained it all to me while the nurses were there and they gave my little girl back to me to hold properly for the first time.”

She named the baby, who weighed 3.45kg at birth, Elodie.

“I worried I wouldn’t bond with my daughter because I had no time to get my head around her arrival, but I think she’s amazing.”

“It’s an absolute miracle. I wouldn’t change Elodie for the world.”

Stevenson is studying sports physio in Manchester, and plans to go back to uni this month.

Meanwhile, I’m typing this with one hand and booking a gynaecologist appointment with the other so I can be checked for an extra uterus and/or surprise baby.

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