I LOVE CHRISTMAS MOVIES.
Sorry, inside voices, let me try that again:
I love Christmas movies*. I really bloody do.
They’re cheesy and happy and full of pretty decorations and snow (which we don’t get enough of in the Southern Hemisphere) and just make me feel good.
I watch Elf on Christmas Day every year and I still laugh out loud at all the jokes.
So it’s safe (and true) to say that when Netflix announces its lineup of Christmas movies every year I am beside myself with excitement.
This year, the streaming service is giving us masterpieces like Klaus…alongside not so masterpieces like The Knight Before Christmas.
Or, as I like to call it, VANESSA HUDGENS WHAT ARE YOU DOING 2.O.
Last year, Vanessa graced our laptop screens in The Princess Switch where she played two identical strangers from opposite worlds and treated us all to her totally forced, horrible British accent.
This year, she’s gone in for round two with a movie that – if it’s possible – looks even worse.
Like I said, I LOVE Christmas movies. But just because I love the concept doesn’t mean I love every one I watch – not all Christmas movies are made equal.
Movies like The Princess Switch and The Knight Before Christmas are good for watching in early November when you want to get into the Christmas mood but it’s too early to get super hyped up.
They’re good for half-awake late night binging when you don’t want to think too much.
They’re good to make you feel good about your life choices.
But they are and never will be in line with big titles like A Nightmare Before Christmas, A Muppet Christmas Movie, or Elf (which I love, if I haven’t already mentioned).
Vanessa Hudgens, I respect your life choices. I respect your career choices. I respect you as an intelligent, independent woman. But someone has to ask: what are you doing?
One bad Christmas movie is enough but, girl, you can’t come back from two. You have too much talent for this.
Woman to woman, trust me when I say, no knight in shining armour is worth it.
That said, will I watch The Knight Before Christmas? You bloody bet I will.
*Die Hard is not a Christmas movie, come at me all you phonies.