Bleats

Donald Trump Kills At The UN, Delivering The Greatest Stand Up Comedy Set Ever Seen At The General Assembly

He even made the German delegation laugh! Everyone knows they're the toughest crowd!

The United Nations General Assembly is a big deal. All of the UN’s member nations meet up at New York City and discuss important world issues, such as policies, trade, and international alliances, all of which is done presumably over tea and New York style pizza.

But with Donald Trump at the head of the proceedings at the 73rd session of the UNGA, the whole thing became less of a serious meeting about world stuff and more like a stand up comedy set.

That’s because when the orange-faced POTUS stepped up to deliver his speech on Tuesday, it quickly devolved into cringe humour of the highest order when he proudly boasted that his administration has “accomplished more than almost any other administration in the history of our country”.

Since we and every single UN world leader present know that’s absolutely not true, they took it as a joke – a good one too – and gave Trump a resounding round of laughter and applause.

The Germans were especially tickled by his bit about their apparently looming dependence on Russian energy.

For Trump and his infamously fragile ego, the prospect of being laughed at or mocked is something of a recurring nightmare and it all came true on the biggest possible world stage.

To Trump’s credit, he rolled with everyone’s laughter by saying “didn’t expect that reaction, but that’s okay,” which was met with another round of chuckles. But while he took it well in the moment, we can almost expect a tweetstorm of epic proportions in the coming days as he fumes about this on the loo.

While laughter from the UN world leaders won’t remove him from office, it does feel like poetic justice of a kind for a man who once sent out this tweet when Barack Obama was POTUS:

Trump famously said time and time again during his 2016 presidential run that the world is “laughing at us”, with the “us” being America.

Sorry to tell you the hard truth, buddy, they’re just laughing at you.

Robert Pattinson Says He Smells Like A Crayon And I Need To Know Which Colour

Another wild yarn from R-Patz.

Robert Pattinson has gained quite a reputation for spinning wild yarns during interviews, but his most recent comments on his body odour have me truly shaken.

In a recent interview with Allure the star of the upcoming The Batman film said, “Lots of people tell me I smell like a crayon.”

The interviewer – understandably bewildered by this statement – then asked, “Like you’re made of wax?”

To which R-Patz responded, “Yes! Like I’m embalmed.”

I have so many questions. What colour crayon does Pattinson smell like? What brand? Is he using lots of crayons? And most importantly, who are these multiple people who are telling him he smells like crayon!? Is that an insult, or a compliment?

It’s not the first time Robert Pattinson’s scent has come up in conversation. Back in 2009, E! News reported that an unidentified source who worked “very closely” with the actor on New Moon said “he stinks.”

“I mean, it’s awful,” the source said. “He never showers, and it drives people on the set crazy.”

“He completely reeks,” an unidentified crew member added. Yikes.

It’s been over a decade since then, so we can only hope Robert Pattinson has swapped his lack of showering for an obsession with crayons. 

Speaking of celebrity scents, celebrity tattoo artist Lauren Winzer dishes on what Post Malone smells like on It’s Been A Big Day For…below:

During his interview with Allure, Pattinson was also asked about being recently named the “most handsome man” in the world according to science.

“It’s weird,” he said. “I never was really up for the good-looking-guy roles, because I’ve always been quite awkward when meeting people.”

“My Harry Potter role was a good-looking guy, and it was a shock that it was quite easy to get. And then in Twilight, [Edward is] beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. When I turned up for the auditions, I had done a job where I’d dyed my hair black, because I had an inch and a half of roots, and I had waxed my body. And then I had a few months where I’d been drinking beer all day, so I had this hairless, chubby body. I looked like a baby with a wig on.”

Hairless, chubby, waxed or smelling like a crayon – we’ll take Robert Pattinson any which way.

Always be in the loop with our snackable podcast breaking the biggest story of the day. Subscribe to It’s Been A Big Day For… on your favourite podcast app.

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