Bleats

Secondary Love Interests Are Always Hotter Than The Pretty-Boy Lead, The Thirsty Proof Is Right Here

It's just science.

You know how it goes. You settle in for a show or movie that features a love story and – what’s this – two people are in love with the same person?! Ding ding ding! We have a love triangle!

Now, love triangles get a lot of flack, thanks in part to the backlash against the great Team Edward vs Team Jacob debate at the height of Twilight mania.

But when done well they can be so fun. Especially when, more often than not, the secondary love interest is waaaaay more interesting and hotter than the original. Just look at these examples…

Nick Scratch from Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

Sorry Harvey Kinkle, but Nick Scratch is a better boyfriend than you’ll ever be. Sure, Nick’s not perfect, but he would do literally anything for Sabrina. He goes to the bottom of the ocean for her, for crying out loud (not to mention other spoilery things).

More importantly, he sees her for exactly who she is and loves her for it. All of her, both the magical and mortal parts. Harvey Kinkle would never.

Damon Salvatore from The Vampire Diaries

What is it about bad guys who are secret softies underneath it all?

Damon did some truly heinous things in his time, but he grows a lot over the course of the show. The chemistry between Damon and Elena was electric from the get-go, but their relationship gets even hotter as they connect on emotional levels as well as physical. Delena forever.

Pacey Witter from Dawson’s Creek

It’s wild to think that Joey and Dawson were originally endgame on Dawson’s Creek. Watching them together is more boring than one of Dawson’s terrible student movies. Dawson never really cares about Joey, just about how her feelings affect his ego.

Pacey, on the other hand, is selflessly and ceaselessly caring (ignoring the Season 4 blip). He waits patiently for Joey and challenges her in all the best ways. He even buys her a freaking wall!

And he remembers everything. Sigh.

Eric Northman from True Blood

When True Blood started, Vampire Bill was positioned as Sookie Stackhouse’s one true love, and Eric Northman was a bad guy getting in the way. The only problem with that plot was Bill was THE WORST.

Eric, meanwhile, was flawed but layered, revealing himself to be much more caring and good than he first appeared. And lordt did the scenes between him and Sookie sizzle. I’m still bitter about the end of this show tbh.

Joey Tribbiani from Friends

Okay, okay, hear me out on this one.

When I was younger, I was all about Ross and Rachel’s will-they-won’t-they thing. But then I grew up and realised a) Ross is awful and b) Joey is great for Rachel. He never pushed his feelings onto her or made her feel bad the way Ross did.

Joey made her happy and they had fun together, but he was also always there for her. The wrong guy won this one.

Jess Mariano from Gilmore Girls

Jess showed up and it was suddenly like Dean WHO?! Sure, Jess had a terrible attitude, but it made for some super sexy moments, not to mention incredible banter between him and Rory. They connected on an intellectual level and bonded over books.

I was low-key hoping they’d get back together in the revival, but the less said about the plot of THAT show, the better.

Christian Reed from Dance Academy

Tara is obsessed with Ethan when Dance Academy starts, but it’s Christian who ends up being her endgame, and rightfully so. They’ve got that whole opposites attract, enemies-to-lovers thing happening.

Sure, there’s a lot of angst, but by the end of their character arcs they’re totally supportive and equal partners. Also Christian is a much better dancer, just sayin’.

Lexa from The 100

Remember Finn? If your answer is “barely” – then yeah, same. Look, I really liked him at the time but he was a bit bland, and his relationship with Clarke was nothing on the intense connection she later has with fierce warrior queen Lexa.

I’ll never not be furious about the way her plot ends, but let’s celebrate what we had for a short while at least.

Jacob Black from Twilight

I’m not going to lie, I’ve always been firmly Team Edward. Not for any logical reasons, but just because, like Bella, I found him so damn irresistible. That being said, it’s undeniable that Jacob was the better choice. He was kind and caring, giving Bella space when she needed it and not, you know, spying on her in her sleep and all. He made her laugh, and he didn’t constantly put her life at risk.

Plus he was literally smoking hot (remember that scene in the rain?! *gulp*).

Robert Pattinson Says He Smells Like A Crayon And I Need To Know Which Colour

Another wild yarn from R-Patz.

Robert Pattinson has gained quite a reputation for spinning wild yarns during interviews, but his most recent comments on his body odour have me truly shaken.

In a recent interview with Allure the star of the upcoming The Batman film said, “Lots of people tell me I smell like a crayon.”

The interviewer – understandably bewildered by this statement – then asked, “Like you’re made of wax?”

To which R-Patz responded, “Yes! Like I’m embalmed.”

I have so many questions. What colour crayon does Pattinson smell like? What brand? Is he using lots of crayons? And most importantly, who are these multiple people who are telling him he smells like crayon!? Is that an insult, or a compliment?

It’s not the first time Robert Pattinson’s scent has come up in conversation. Back in 2009, E! News reported that an unidentified source who worked “very closely” with the actor on New Moon said “he stinks.”

“I mean, it’s awful,” the source said. “He never showers, and it drives people on the set crazy.”

“He completely reeks,” an unidentified crew member added. Yikes.

It’s been over a decade since then, so we can only hope Robert Pattinson has swapped his lack of showering for an obsession with crayons. 

Speaking of celebrity scents, celebrity tattoo artist Lauren Winzer dishes on what Post Malone smells like on It’s Been A Big Day For…below:

During his interview with Allure, Pattinson was also asked about being recently named the “most handsome man” in the world according to science.

“It’s weird,” he said. “I never was really up for the good-looking-guy roles, because I’ve always been quite awkward when meeting people.”

“My Harry Potter role was a good-looking guy, and it was a shock that it was quite easy to get. And then in Twilight, [Edward is] beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. When I turned up for the auditions, I had done a job where I’d dyed my hair black, because I had an inch and a half of roots, and I had waxed my body. And then I had a few months where I’d been drinking beer all day, so I had this hairless, chubby body. I looked like a baby with a wig on.”

Hairless, chubby, waxed or smelling like a crayon – we’ll take Robert Pattinson any which way.

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