Bleats

No, The Simpsons Didn't Predict Trump Would Try To Buy Greenland

Mind you, if he's suckered by a smooth-talking conman into building a national monorail…

It seems like the sort of ridiculous thing that the Simpsons would absolutely have made a plot device but sadly we are here to demolish your hopes that they had a joke about Trump buying Greenland.

Sadly, heartbreakingly, it is not true because nothing in the world is good and pure anymore.

Life is pain.

When in doubt about whether something on the internet is accurate, it is best to consult Snopes – the web’s most reliable factcheckers – who covered this very matter and traced the claim back to a tongue-in-cheek tweet by Democratic senator Chris Murphy

…and a similar joke by TV host Rachel Maddow:

Except people didn’t think it was a joke, and started claiming that it happened for realisies and then it took on a life of its own – not unlike the idea that the Simpsons predicted the presidency of Trump (true: it was a throwaway joke in the 2000 episode Bart To The Future) and even his ride down the escalator at Trump Tower (false: it was drawn after the event).

Twitter and Reddit started discussing the veracity of the claim and the Simpsons’ ability to predict the future, despite the fact that a good slab of the population have 1995 Simpsons indelibly embedded in their brains and can quote entire series’ word for word.

Just me, huh?

Anyway: the Simpsons did have a Greenland gag, but it was not Trump related.

It was in 2013’s The Saga Of Carl, about Carl Carlson’s family home in Iceland, about how the Vikings supposedly swapped the names of Greenland and Iceland because one was green and the other icy.

And that’s why Lenny only brought shorts. See? Hilarious.

It also had Sigur Ros in it! SIGUR ROS!

In related news: I remember a lot about things from the Simpsons and I am therefore super cool.

Donald Trump Seems To Think He Can Buy Greenland, As In The Country

What, too scared to make a bid on China?

By this stage in the presidency you’d think that we’d all have become immune to the weird news about Donald Trump, but then he reportedly asks for staff to look into buying Greenland and realise there’s no vaccine for this level of peculiar.

To be fair, it looks very pretty.

There are questions about how serious the idea is, with some aides insisting that it’s a joke that’s gone too far and others pointing out that Trump’s been asking about it for weeks – which is in itself unusual for the easily-distracted world leader.

Then again, Trump is meeting with Denmark’s leaders in a fortnight, and Greenland is a self-governing bit of the Kingdom of Denmark – and a lot of people are wondering if he’s going to write a number on a piece of paper and push it meaningfully over the table.

It’s not entirely clear why Trump is so enamoured of the idea.

It’s most likely because of its strategic importance – there’s a US-run NATO military base on the north of the island – but maybe it’s Greenland’s natural resources, or maybe it’s the idea of adding another state as per Eisenhower declaring Alaska and Hawaii’s statehoods in 1959.

Or maybe he doesn’t understand how the familiar Mercator projection distorts the size of things on maps and thinks that there’s a country the size of the US almost on top of them and it’s either bomb ’em or buy ’em.

And while it’s an eye-catchingly odd notion, the wildest thing about it is that it’s something the US government have looked into twice before.

The US attempted to buy Greenland once in the late 1800s (when they contemplated buying both Iceland and Greenland) and once in 1946 when they made an actual offer (Denmark declined to sell).

And geologically they’re part of the North American tectonic plate (well, most of Iceland is: it’s on the edge, hence all them volcanoes) so you can expect a number of pro-Trump media to start making arguments about how the US has a historical claim to the islands. After all, it’s a stronger one than Hawaii.

Anyway, we look forward to the chants of Make America Greenland Again at all upcoming rallies.

The #5yearoldselfie Trend Is Just What Your Heart Needs Today

Twitter, doing something positive for mental health? Hey, let's embrace it while we can!

Twitter, for the most part, is a hellscape of hatefire – so we should all take genuine solace in the moments, rare as they are, when Twitter does something adorable that will make your heart feel better as with the hashtag #5yearoldselfie.

It was started by the UK mental health charity Young Minds as bit of a deliberate dose of positivity, and the outpouring from folks on the Tweet-platform are a joy to behold.

And the internet responded with alacrity.

The overwhelming message was to stop worrying so much about other people’s opinions and to trust that things were going to improve, but the joy of it is how incredibly relatable the photos and responses are.

Some are inspirational:

…some are charming…

…and some are just heartbreaking.

In any case, it’s a great reminder to all of us to be a bit kinder to ourselves, and that the five year old kid we were isn’t really all that far away. And who wouldn’t want to give their younger self a hug and some sage advice?

At least, let’s all enjoy the #5yearoldselfie hasgtag until we discover that Twitter are actually using it some data-scraping exercise to train AI to successfully age photographs for identification purposes GODDAMMIT CAN’T ANYTHING JUST BE GOOD AND PURE ANY MORE?

#Trending

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