We all know who wins The Bachelor, right? Yes, we do, because we’re so past the point where reality TV can pull one over us.
The non-shock ending already been spoiled for us by leaks, paparazzi pix, social media, exclusive comments from Sources Close To The Programme talking to journalists and… um, this website.
And if there was a Big Brother reboot on the horizon (actually, why is there no Big Brother reboot on the horizon?) then it might not be an issue since that more or less happened in real time.
But when you have a show like The Bachelor (or their other big franchise, Survivor) where the show is filmed and packaged months before broadcast then you have to deal with the awkward fact that the people on said show won’t obediently hide in a disused mine shaft until the screening date.
And thus we have all the joy and mystery sucked out of wondering if Chelsie McLeod wins by having multiple publications gleeful announcements that Chelsie wins. And then add that she and Matt Agnew break up a few weeks later and that he’s seeing another contestant.
And yes, there are legal routes to shutting people up from giving spoilers, but a) they’ve seldom been used and don’t seem like that big a discouragement and b) many of the spoilers are just people being spotted living their lives rather than actual leaks.
So there’s another option: if you can’t hide the truth, cover it in lies!
Hell, it’s worked a treat in elections all around the world, and for good reason: disinformation works a treat! Just ask UK folks for evidence of that massive windfall of NHS money coming from Brexit, or Trump supporters about how much Mexico has paid for that US border wall, or the federal government about Labor’s death tax!
So if the rumour is that Matt has dumped Chelsie for Abbie, why are the producers not frantically pumping out leaks that Matt’s actually with Sorgand, or Monique, or Plan B, or Osher?
Heck, why aren’t they pushing stories where sources reveal that he’s a hologram, or the new Batman? Or that all of the contestants are also Matt?
After all, a thousand political strategists can’t be wrong. Get some of those spin doctors on the case, Channel 10. Otherwise we can call the glory days of reality TV over.