This week would appear to be the tipping point where it finally dawned on the Bachelor dames that this reality dating competition is a competition and that they’re going to need to stop treating it as a chance to hang out with other attractive women and compare gowns.
Mind you, this mainly manifested in various to-camera statements about how Abbie is trying to take out her competition in order to win which… did anyone explain the show to these people?
Anyway: the issue for anyone with an empathetic bone in their skeleton is that people are starting to fixate on Matt, the only male in their lives that isn’t Osher Günsberg, with a cult-like intensity.
And that means that seeing people who care about the outcome get hurt increasingly badly is going to be pretty difficult from here on in.
Life Lesson: Don’t Be Deferential When You’re Forced Into A Winner-Takes-All Battle For Survival
By and large we salute politeness and courtesy here at GOAT, but it was instructive to see how the automatic socialised response to be deferential and not big-note oneself put women at a disadvantage in the group “date”.
In a nutshell, women had to rate their own qualities – for example, whether they were honest or dishonest – and line up accordingly. Because telling women that they need to rate themselves against one another is a thing we’re doing on TV now, it would appear.
What happened, obviously, was that the pushiest people went “yep I’m heaps honest” and plonked themselves at number one. Abbie, in other words. And everyone else went “um, well, I like to think of myself as an honest person…” and then realised they were already outplayed.
Long story short: it was brutal. But then Bree and Abbie won, although that win turned out to be not quite as winny as you’d think.
Date Tip: Date People With Which You Have At Least A Single Thing In Common
Sure, finally everyone has realised that they need to compete to win a Matt. Except that is problematic because they’re also ostensibly competing for A Forever Love With The One Of Their Dreams, and those are two non-identical goals.
And as Bree made very, very, very clear in their little one-on-one, Matt’s not the right dude for her – at least, in that she merrily blurted out that she’s not looking for short-terms plans, much less marriage and a family, despite Matt making abundantly clear that that’s his whole thing.
So on the one hand, she totally blew her chance and was sent home; but on the other – thank heavens she was so clear because otherwise she’d be in for a really awkward convo once the cameras stopped rolling.
And finally: Emma, we understand this is a television programme and that you can hardly say “oh my god, what a lovely gift the production team had made for me, please pass on my thanks to the crew!” on camera during your one-on-one date, but maybe tone down your tear-filled praise for how thoughtful a gift you’ve been given.
Matt’s clearly trapped in a house just like you are; he’s not popping out to artisanal markets to commission bespoke wood art.
Llamawatch: it’s back!
It’s OK everyone: after being absent from our screens for a few episodes the llama is safe, healthy, and still sitting on the lawn. Oh god, I was worried. SO WORRIED.
Mind you… it doesn’t appear to have moved. In fact, it appears to be an uncannily similar shot from a previous episode.
Maybe this is old footage to try to conceal the horrible truth CHANNEL 10 WHAT ARE YOU NOT TELLING US? #showusthellama