Hot tip for people on The Bachelor: stay off Instagram for a bit lest you ruin the marvellous illusion of television.
This may come as a shock, beloved reader, but despite the intense urgency of reality TV the fact is that The Bachelor isn’t happening in real time. All that lovely weather should be a giveaway.
And thus one of the conditions of the show is that the folks on it keep the hell off social media and away from the glare of the antisocial media until the episode which evicts them.
And one contestant broke this golden rule. So you need to opt out of this article right now if you don’t want a spoiler to ruin tonight’s episode.
Honestly.
Now’s your last chance.
Rightio:
Rachael is gonzo.
And, supposedly, there’s all sorts of a delicious scandals wrapped up in her departure – which is great because up until this point she’s barely featured in the actual Matt-related bits of the show and you have to admire her for figuring “eh, I’m here to find love, let’s explore some non-Bachelor-related options.”
And while the show itself deals with a different twist, she rather telegraphed the conclusion on Instagram where she made the point of celebrating her new love: specifically that she’s “thankful we went on this crazy journey or I wouldn’t of met my soulmate.”
Now, this is obviously shocking and concerning: it should be “I wouldn’t HAVE met my soulmate”. What’s that “of” doing there, Rach?
Anyway, it’s lovely that we know that at least someone found love on the show, even if it was happening off camera. But you’d think that someone at the show would be reminding Rach about the social media policy, surely?
In any case: good luck to Rach’n’Vaks, and has anyone at The Bachelor checked the Instagram of Chelsie and Abbie yet? You know, just in case they’ve posted anything interesting in recent times?
[rushes off to stalk on social media]