Bleats

The Excitement Over The Voluptuous Fan-Drawn Female Version Of Bowser From Mario Pretty Much Sums Up How Horny The Gaming Community Is

Why am I not surprised about the mad BDSM vibes coming from Bowsette?

Since Nintendo Direct showed debuted new footage two weeks ago that introduced the concept of of a gold crown with the power to transform the Super Mario Bros. characters into hyper-feminine versions of themselves, the gamer community has really been having a lot of NSFW fun.

Basically everyone is obsessed with the idea that turtle-like creature Bowser might turn into a super-sexualised, voluptuous female version of himself.

Twitter user and evidently horny gamer @ayyk92 kicked things off with their comic depicting the mutation of Bowser into a sexy blonde chick:

People LOVE sexy Bowser – Bowsette, if you will. Now the internet is inundated with fan art of female Bowser and it gets saucy I’ll tell you that. I know it’s not news that gamers are a horny breed but man, sometimes I forget just how much lust for the female body circulates that community.

Just, wow.

Should we be surprised that her transformation outfit seems to be a physics-defying latex suit with some dominatrix-esque accessories? Probably not.

A moment of silence for all the gamers who think that Bowsette’s breasts would be astronomically larger than her head.

There’s now debate in the Mario community over whether Bowsette would have red hair and maybe tan skin to be a more realistic transformation of Bowser’s original form.

Or maybe even look something a little more like this:

But the majority is far more into the large-breasted, scantily clad, blonde Bowser, and they’re taking over the internet.

So the gaming community is definitely artistically skilled, and horny. That we know. The hype around the female bowser erotic fantasies has really blown me away.

Joey From ‘10 Things I Hate About You’ Is A Cult Leader IRL And I Can’t Cope

I guess the tube sock ad didn't work out.

Remember Joey Donner from everyone’s favourite 90s flick 10 Things I Hate About You? He was the OG f*ckboy and every parent’s worst nightmare – but in real life, he’s apparently a cult leader who got done for illegally selling kombucha.

According to Marie Claire, Andrew Keegan – who played Joey in the film –  is the co-founder of “California spiritual community” Full Circle, where he “passionately seeks to inspire and empower the community to co-create a better world.”

Apparently, in his role Keegan is often referred to as a “guru” and “promotes organic experiences within the temple, including hand-holding, group meditation, spooning, crystals, candles and ‘soul medicine.’” Full Circle even has a pet parrot called Krishna, reflecting the religion’s Hindu influence.

Speaking of throwbacks, listen to the GOAT team breakdown Jessica Simpson’s new tell-all book on It’s Been A Big Day For… below:

In a 2014 article, Vice characterised Full Circle as a “new religion,” however publications including Jezebel have labelled it a cult. In a 2015 interview with Keegan, Lauren Bans of New York Magazine wrote, “the actual theology of the group is tough to in down, but it seems to loosely follow Hinduism – or at least Russell Brand’s Sanskrit-tattoo version of it.”

If all this hadn’t blown your mind enough, in 2015, Keegan was reportedly raided by California’s Department of Alcohol Beverage Control for “illegally selling Kombucha that wasn’t labelled alcoholic.”

“Kombucha is something we’d never imagine to be an illegal substance, and it’s frustrating the system has that perspective,” Keegan said. “We’re certainly taking full responsibility. We try to put our best foot forward.”

According to Vice, Keegan’s “spiritual transformation” came from a traumatic experience in 2011 when he and two friends were attacked by gang members in Venice Beach. “The significance of this occurrence is that it happened at the same time the tsunami hit Japan,” he said, relating the incident to a series of events and “weird coincidences.”

Sounds like Keegan’s current life is a far cry from his days as semi-professional tube sock model Joey Donner, but whatever floats your boat, right?

Always be in the loop with our snackable podcast breaking the biggest story of the day. Subscribe to It’s Been A Big Day For… on your favourite podcast app.

'No Time To Die' Theme Song May Feature Big Clues About Daniel Craig's Final 007 Movie

Did you notice these?

We’re only a few weeks from the release of Daniel Craig’s final James Bond film No Time To Die, but we got our first feel for the film with Billie Eilish’s theme for the film by the same name.

Fans are very curious about what will happen to Bond, with many believing the agent will die in the film, but Eilish’s song seems to offer some big clues about a major plot point in the film.

There are plenty of Bond themes that have very little to do with the movie and are more bout the characters, for example, the theme for Goldfinger.

But others directly address themes from the movie, like Adele’s Skyfall song – and it seems as though Billie’s song for No Time To Die falls into the same category.

The haunting tune doesn’t give us much hope for Bond with the lyrics centring on a tragic betrayal. Not just any betrayal, however, in this case, it comes from someone you love.

The first verse is about a meaningful relationship ending badly:

“I should have known
I’d leave alone
Just goes to show
That the blood you bleed is just the blood you owe
We were a pair
But I saw you there
Too much to bear”

As we near the chorus, Eilish sings about being caught off guard:

“You were my life, but life is far away from fair
Was I stupid to love you?
Was I reckless to help?
Was it obvious to everybody else?”

Then, the chorus continues on the theme of betrayal:

“That I’d fallen for a lie
You were never on my side
Fool me once, fool me twice
Are you death or paradise?
Now you’ll never see me cry
There’s just no time to die”

Thanks to the trailer, fans believe Daniel Craig’s Bond will be betrayed by Madeleine Swan, his love interest from Spectre.

The new No Time To Die trailer featuring Eilish’s song sees Bond burning a note featuring the words “Forgive me.”

Another theory is that Madeleine won’t survive the film because Bond is seen in front of what appears to be a mausoleum.

No Time To Die is out in cinemas on 8 April.

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