Riverdale is back for another season of comically absurd teen drama and it’s as wild as ever. But our investment in the dreamy boys of the ‘teen’ cast is fading almost as fast as our burgeoning lust for the older generation is burning us up.
They’ve surpassed Bughead the broody loner-turned-Serpent-King.
They’ve surpassed Archie the-hunky-but-consistently-stupid-decision-maker Andrews.
They are the Hot Dads of Riverdale, and they’re hear to f**k s**t up.
They’ve been attracting an increasingly potent level of attention from viewers, but in the premiere episode of season three it became abundantly clear that the Hot Dad Brigade is officially more important than any of their hunky sons. Sorry guys that’s just the way it is.
While the kids are busy making their various messes and respective bad decisions (@ArchieAndrews), the Hot Dads are banding together to save the day.
So let’s turn our attention to the official Hot Dad Brigade where it belongs. To start, out on the streets of Riverdale, fighting for good, we have none other than Fred Andrews.
Daddy Andrews (AKA Luke Perry of 90210 fame), is understated, level-headed, empathetic, and cute as heck. He is a hard worker and also currently single.
We also have Sheriff Keller (Martin Cummins), who was once a prime Black Hood suspect revealed to be merely a buff, law abiding, silver fox. Sorry we ever doubted you Sheriff.
Then we have bad-boy Dad FP Jones (Skeet Ulrich), who has seen some things. He’s straddled the border of good and bad and come out of prison reformed and ready to fight for what’s right. What a dreamboat.
Also FP in glasses. Ooft.
Seeing these Hot Dads of Riverdale brought together by a need to protect their town and their young from Evil (but also hot) Dad Hiram Lodge (Mark Conseulos) was better than literally anything else that happened in the episode.
Molly Ringwald defending accused-murderer Archie Andrews? Scooby Gang coming up with dumb-ass ideas to save him? Betty calling herself Serpent Queen???
We’ll take the Hot Dads please and thank you very much.
In conclusion, whether or not you’re comfortable with using the term ‘Daddy’, you must accept that the fathers on Riverdale are the most important thing on the show.