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It’s been a big day for… Listening to...

Who Thought Cardboard Beds Were A Good Idea For Horny Olympians?

They're promising the beds won't break.

Welp, the Olympics have made the second statement within a week that I predict will absolutely backfire. First they announced that they were banning protests from the games, so I 100% assume someone will protest. Now they’re making sure everyone knows that the cardboard beds won’t collapse when athletes bang, so I assume several beds are about to collapse. 

The Tokyo Olympics kick off in July this year, and the cardboard beds in the Olympic Village have actually been a pretty massive deal. The cardboard is meant to be really sturdy, and after the games are over they’ll be broken down and recycled into paper products. Even the mattresses – not made of cardboard thankfully – will be recycled into plastic products. 

https://twitter.com/andrewbogut/status/1215224772239314944?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1215224772239314944&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.news.com.au%2Fsport%2Folympics%2Fmajor-flaw-in-athletes-village-ecofriendly-beds%2Fnews-story%2F0a9ae5914914d3fa26a6208311c113aa

According to Takashi Kitajima, the general manager of the Athletes Village, the beds can take up to 200kgs, which doesn’t seem like a lot tbh. Some of those weightlifters and shot putters have back muscles that weigh more than my entire body, but I digress. 

He also admitted that “wood and cardboard would each break if you jumped on them,” talking about athletes jumping on the bed, but frankly I think we can all read between the lines on that one.

Giggity

They’ve changed their tunes now though, after the manufacturer of the beds said that the beds will be fine as long as athletes stick to only two Olympians in a cardboard bed.

During the 2018 Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang, Tinder usage shot up. And not just by a small amount. Total Tinder usage went up 348%, right swipes by 565%, and there were 644% more matches in total.

Athletes train incredibly hard and the Olympics are emotional, people are going to bang, a lot. For now I’ll see you in July when we get our first reports of collapsing cardboard beds, because I’m positive it’ll happen.

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