Bleats

This Influencer Reckons Tinder Banned Her For Being 'Too Hot,' Seems Legit

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Another day, another influencer. This time a woman has been banned from Tinder, and can come up with only one possible way that this has happened, she’s simply too hot.

Holly Valentine is from Los Angeles, and says she was banned when people assumed that her profile wasn’t real and reported it. Again, because she was too hot. 

“I travel a lot so I wanted to date and meet new people when I was travelling and in town, so I bought the most expensive package that they offer that lets you set your location to anywhere,” she said. We’ve finally found the people that actually pay for the expensive Tinder package, but anyway.

“I used clean pictures, did everything I was supposed to, swiped right on a couple people, I got some matches and then started binge watching Game of Thrones. Then after a couple hours I went back on saw a couple previews of messages and then got locked out of the app.”

The messages were supposedly telling her she wasn’t real, which is why she figures that she’d been reported and thus given the boot.

Holly contacted Tinder and Apple asking for her $128 to be refunded – which I’m assuming is American dollars by the way, so she spent about $190 Australian dollars on Tinder. As of yet, she hasn’t gotten it back.

She made sure to let us all know that she’s definitely a real person. “I’m all natural, very fit, blonde, girl next door looking. I do have a nerdy side and I’m not afraid to show it but depending on the wardrobe or make up I can go from looking like an all natural college girl or a bombshell.”

If you’re invested in this story and desperately need more information, then you’re in luck. Holly has announced she’ll be doing an Instagram live, so all her 1.2 million followers can ask her about how hot she is and why Tinder banned her.

Isn’t technology amazing?

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Coronavirus Quarantine Might Just Spark Another Baby Boom

“Without activities or human interaction, the boredom must be crippling.”

Coronavirus has been spreading faster than anyone can keep track of, and attempts to quarantine people who have been exposed are coming in all shapes and sizes. Australia has re-opened Christmas Island, America has been using a Californian air base, and for people stuck on cruise ships, the quarantine zone has been all around them.

The Diamond Princess cruise ship is currently in quarantine and docked outside of Japan after fears that coronavirus had gone through the ships. It’s horror movie stuff, the thought of being trapped in a cruise ship full of people that may or may not have a deadly disease. 

Not only is it terrifying though, it’s boring as hell. You can’t leave your room in case you run into someone with coronavirus, but that means you’re stuck in a tiny cruise ship room for an indefinite amount of time. So what’s a bored, accidental horror movie extra to do?

Oh yeah…

Jerk off, apparently.

Coming to the rescue is a Miami based porn website called CamSoda. In a statement, CamSoda vice president Daryn Parker has said that “We like cruises just as much as the next guy, but without activities or human interaction, the boredom must be crippling.”

He continued on, saying that “In an effort to keep their minds off of the coronavirus and to help with the boredom, we’re offering passengers and crews the ability to have fun in a safe and controlled environment with camming.”

Free porn, is what that means.

If you can send your travel documents to CamSoda to prove that you’re on the ship, then you’ll get 1000 free tokens to use on their website to hit up some cam girls. Or, just chat to them for a while, cause after that long trapped on a coronavirus quarantine ship talking to someone out in the real world must be amazing.

It looks like they’re going to be there for a while longer yet, with Japan’s health minister confirming another 39 cases diagnosed on board this morning. Who knows, maybe nine months from now we’ll see a cruise ship related baby boom.

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The First Coronavirus Doctor's Fate Is Even More Terrifying Than The Outbreak

Vale, Dr. Li Wenliang.

The coronavirus outbreak is terrifying, and at this point we’ve lost track of the exact amount of people infected. We’re up to at least 560 deaths from coronavirus, and this morning a Chinese man named Dr. Li Wenliang was one of them.

Dr. Li Wenliang is credited as being one of the coronavirus whistleblowers. He sent out a warning about patients in his Wuhan hospital with a potential “SARS-like” disease back in December 2019, before the rest of the world had ever heard of coronavirus. At the time he was told by police to stop “this illegal activity” or he’d “be brought to justice”.

He was hospitalised himself in mid January, and on February 1st he tested positive for the disease. His death was first reported overnight, but here is where things start to get weird.

When the news of Dr. Li Wenliang’s death from coronavirus broke, the anger on Chinese social media was instant. The topics “Wuhan government owes Dr. Li Wenliang an apology,” and “I want freedom of speech,” and “We want freedom of speech,” started trending on Weibo before being censored and taken down. 

Once everybody realised how angry people were that the man who had been prevented from getting the word out about coronavirus had died of it, the reporting changed. An update was sent out saying that he was actually alive, just in critical condition.

People who were at the hospital have told the BBC that that’s not quite what happened. According to them, officials came in and ordered that Dr. Li Wenliang’s body was put on life support before sending out an official report that he was alive.

This attempt to control the narrative didn’t last very long, because a couple of hours later the reporting changed once again to say that he had died. 

The death of Dr. Li Wenliang is one of the defining moments of the coronavirus emergency, and he deserved a far better end than he got.

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