For many of us, the global pandemic has meant working from home, feeling disconnected from colleagues, friends and family, and unable to enjoy the many enriching aspects of life we once took for granted – not to mention the financial stress high rates of unemployment have caused. For these very reasons, the life-changing conversations of R U OK? Day on September 10th couldn’t come quick enough. However, there are other questions we can be asking to find happiness amidst COVID-19.
We recently spoke to global speaker and author Dr. Dain Heer about how the pandemic has impacted our mental health, how we can take back control over our happiness and help others. Listen to our chat below:
“The idea that we were ever in control in the first place, is a lie,” Dr. Heer says of the new normal. “The most successful people are the ones who have been able to surf the changes of reality.”
“One of the things I always suggest people do is ask questions,” he says. “One could be as simple as ‘what else is possible here?’ or ‘what’s right about this, that I’m not getting?’ ‘what’s right about me, that I’m not getting?’”
“Your point of view creates your reality, your reality doesn’t create your point of view,” Dr. Heer explains. “If you buy into the prevailing point of view that all your possibilities have dried up, that’s all you’re going to see.”
Dr. Heer also pointed out that often we take on the feelings of the people and external forces around us, and suggested asking yourself “who does this feeling belong to?” when you start falling into a feeling of depression or anxiety. “We need to start offloading that stuff that’s not ours.”
“We also need to start looking for things everyday that makes us happy,” he said. “Realise you’re choosing it – we’re making choices in our life. Then the next step is, ‘what would I like to choose?’”
Dr. Dain Heer said the reason it’s so hard for people to offload their feelings and ask those questions is because “we’ve grown up in a world that teaches us that judgement will tell us right from wrong.”
“We’re afraid someone will judge us, and we’re in judgement of ourselves for not being perfect,” he says. “But we need to realise that no one is perfect.”
As for how we can help the people around us, Dr. Heer says, “be willing to talk to people and realise they have their own story but just listen without having to solve it or take it on.”
So there you have it – don’t be afraid to ask those hard questions to yourself, the people around you, and remember that there is so much in this world to love and be happy about. Head to drdainheer.com for more information.
If you, or anyone you know is struggling with mental health issues, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue for support.
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