Bleats

Coronavirus Is Officially Declared A Pandemic, So What Does That Exactly Mean?

"Pandemic is not a word to use lightly or carelessly."

It seemed like it was a matter of time based on all the event cancellations and travel bans, but now it’s official: the World Health Organisation has declared the coronavirus COVID-19 a pandemic.

Speaking of the coronavirus pandemic, the GOAT team talk about all the events that have been cancelled due to the disease on ‘It’s Been A Big Day For…’ below:

Following the World Health Organisation’s declaration of the coronavirus as an international health emergency in January, WHO Director-General Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus announced at a press conference in Geneva that the disease is officially a pandemic.

Citing the “alarming inaction” by some countries in responding to the growing number of coronavirus cases, which have now up to 126,011 worldwide at the time of writing, Tedros says “pandemic is not a word to use lightly or carelessly” and that the new classification “doesn’t change what WHO is doing, and it doesn’t change what countries should do.”

Tedros also noted that of all the confirmed coronavirus cases worldwide, “more than 90 percent of cases are in just four countries” and two of those – China and South Korea – “have significantly declining epidemics,” and stated that “if countries detect, test, treat, isolate, trace, and mobilize their people in the response, those with a handful of coronavirus cases can prevent those cases becoming clusters, and those clusters becoming community transmission.”

This is a big deal as this is the first pandemic to be declared in 11 years. Since everyone is probably now wondering “what is a pandemic”, what does that mean in the context of the coronavirus”, “what do I need to do now” and “do I need to hoard more toilet paper”, we’re going to give a definition on what the word means and break it down for you.

A pandemic has nothing to do with the characteristics of a disease but rather its geographical spread. For a disease like the coronavirus to be declared a pandemic by the World Health Organisation, it means that a disease for which we don’t have immunity has rapidly broken out around the world beyond expectations.

Given how well over 100 nations (and counting) have confirmed coronavirus cases, it certainly fits the WHO’s definition of a pandemic.

Okay, so that’s the definition of a pandemic but how does it differ to an epidemic?

While a pandemic refers to the rapid spread of a disease worldwide, an epidemic refers to the spread of a disease within a specific, defined region. In other words, the difference between a pandemic and an epidemic is a matter of geographical scope.

As for what the coronavirus being declared a pandemic means for you personally, well, keep up all the precautions the Australian health authorities have laid out for us, such as regularly – and thoroughly – washing your hands and use hand sanitiser whenever possible, and pay no attention to all those fake coronavirus “cures” that have been going around. There’s no need to panic and you’ll be fine if you stay alert.

We’ve survived other pandemics in the past and we’ll do it again with the coronavirus. Oh and as for the toilet paper question above, please stop hoarding food and TP because it’s just not necessary at the moment and you’re causing people who actually need this stuff a lot of grief.

Always be in the loop with our snackable podcast breaking the biggest story of the day. Subscribe to It’s Been A Big Day For… on your favourite podcast app.

There's Finally An Inclusive Dating App For The Less-Endowed Individual

Bigger isn't always better,

A lot of people have been brought up to believe that “bigger is better” when it comes to, uh, package size. That’s obviously not true, but that sort of ingrained pressure to conform to unrealistic body ideals isn’t exactly healthy, especially for those with smaller-than-average “eggplants”. However, there’s now there’s a new, inclusive dating app called ‘Dinky One’ that caters specifically to those belonging in the small penis club and is helping to spread the message that size truly doesn’t matter.

Speaking of dating, the GOAT team talk about Zendaya’s little office romance on ‘It’s Been A Big Day For…’ below:

Pointing out that there are smaller-than-average women just like there are men with small penises, Dinky One aims to dispel any stigma surrounding genital size and performance by immediately pointing out on its website that the average penis size is only about 14 cm, how about 50 percent of dudes are under that mark, and how there are women who don’t really care about the size of a person’s junk.

For those wanting to join, the only requirement is that your penis is smaller than 14 cm, which again is not that big of a deal. Furthermore, the beauty about Dinky One is that everyone who joins the dating app is fully aware that the penises on it are smaller-than-average, which immediately helps break the ice between strangers.

As an inclusive cherry on top, Dinky One is not just a dating app for men and women either as it encourages men, women and transgender people of any sexuality to join up, and there are 24 gender identities for users to choose from.

Since the topic of package sizes can be sensitive for some people, Dinky One is big on privacy and communication. It allows users to be anonymous, doesn’t require a birth date, photos are optional, and there’s no swiping involved, meaning you can immediately contact someone if you wish.

It’s quite cool to see an inclusive dating app like Dinky One cater to those who are sensitive about having a small penis and it’s proven to be a hit already. According to Pink News, the app has already got about 28,000 users. Of that userbase, 27 percent identify as female, 71 percent identify as male, and two percent identify as transgender.

Since this is a new dating app, it’ll likely take some time for Dinky One to make its way to Australia’s small penis-owning population. But regardless, it is a big step forward in terms of inclusivity.

Always be in the loop with our snackable podcast breaking the biggest story of the day. Subscribe to It’s Been A Big Day For… on your favourite podcast app.

How Many Will Get Coronavirus At This Record-Setting Smurf Meet Up?

The grim maths doesn't bode well for the Smurf population.

Due to the rapid rate (relatively speaking) at which the coronavirus has been spreading, countries around the world are issuing travel bans and cancelling large-scale events in an attempt to keep infection rates low. But despite all these health warnings, thousands of people in France gave the coronavirus the middle finger and decided to meet up anyway for *checks notes* a Smurf gathering.

Speaking of the coronavirus, the GOAT team talk about the biggest talking points about the disease on ‘It’s Been A Big Day For…’ below:

Proving that humanity isn’t willing to let anyone get in the way of setting world records, especially stupid ones, some 3,500 people dressed as Smurfs decided to gather together in France in an attempt to break the Guinness world record for the largest ever Smurf gathering despite the country’s ban on gatherings of over 1,000 people in an attempt to curb the spread of the coronavirus.

It’s an admirable – and ridiculous – display of both our species’ unbreakable spirit and Darwinism at work, not that this group of 3,500 Smurfs in France really care about what anyone else thinks as they now hold the world record for the largest Smurf gathering, coronavirus be damned.

Since this massive French Smurf gathering is a grade A, blue coloured health hazard, we’ve decided to bring some grim maths to the equation and do some guesstimating on how many people may have been infected by the coronavirus during this pointless pursuit of a world record because, well, why not.

Now we know that France has a 1,412 confirmed cases of the coronavirus. With a population of about 67 million, that gives us an infection rate of 0.002107 percent. Using that on the Smurf gathering of 3,500, that means 7.4 blue people probably got infected by the coronavirus during this giant meet up in France.

Now this number of infected Smurfs is by no means accurate and is definitely not an accurate representation of the coronavirus’ infection rate, in France or otherwise. It’s just a dumb way of showing just how dumb and risky this whole event was.

The unnecessary hoarding of toilet paper and the rearing of everyone’s racist side has exposed just how awful humans can be during times of trouble. So perhaps it’s fitting that all this bad stuff is counter-balanced by a display of how weirdly inspirational humans can be in the form of thousands of Smurfs.

Always be in the loop with our snackable podcast breaking the biggest story of the day. Subscribe to It’s Been A Big Day For… on your favourite podcast app.

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