Bleats

The Yelp Reviews Of Harvey Weinstein's Future Prison Are Magnificent

"The hot dogs are an unnatural white and have bones in them."

Convicted rapist Harvey Weinstein took a bit of a detour on his way to prison. After being found guilty of rape in the third degree, and criminal sexual act in the first degree, he was put in handcuffs and started his journey to Rikers Island Correctional Facility. He had some chest pains on the way and got taken to hospital for a week, but he’s officially on his way to jail! 

His sentencing isn’t until March 11th, so he’s just there for holding at the moment. The point is that he’s there, and we’ll just have to wait and see how long for.

Want a catch up on how we got here? Listen to the GOAT Team break down the conviction…

So what exactly can he look forward to in his new home? We took to Yelp to find out.

The Yelp page for Rikers Island Correctional Facility currently shows that it has a rating of two out of five stars and a total of 40 reviews. 

First off, he can expect chicken bone stabbings and drinking hand sanitiser. This review is from 2014 though, and there’s no way in hell anybody would be wasting hand sanitiser at the moment. The instant Kool Aid thing probably still checks out, though.

He also appears to be in for the smell of body odour, bleach, and beefaroni (whatever that is). I’m guessing that the chicken bone used to stab the earlier dude came from a hot dog. There’s a fun mental image for you.

Moving away from the food, it sounds like Harvey is in for a luxurious sleeping experience with bed bugs and lice, he’ll be sharing his food with rats, and mutant water bugs will be around wherever the hell they live.

If he hates his time there as much as everybody else seems to, he can tell visiting kiddiwinks to never grow up and assault anyone.

So this is the prison where Harvey Weinstein has found himself. I look forward to the review he eventually leaves, although I’m not sure I want to know any more about the chicken bone situation.

If you, or anyone you know, is struggling with mental health issues, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636.

Simone Biles Won't Let USA Gymnastics Buy Her Silence Over Sexual Assaults

"This is a massive cover up."

Larry Nassar has been convicted of sexual assault, and plead guilty to abusing young gymnasts while he worked as doctor at Michigan State, USA Gymnastics, and on the US Olympic Team. The scandal surrounding his abuse of young gymnasts was the biggest sexual abuse scandal in sports history, and a total of 156 victims gave victim impact statements in court. He was ultimately sentenced to up to 175 years in prison. Some of America’s most famous gymnasts – Simone Biles, Aly Raisman, and McKayla Maroney – are among his victims.

Michigan State has reached a $500 million settlement for the victims who were under their care, but USA Gymnastics hasn’t been quite as responsive.

USA Gymnastics (USAG) have offered up a $215 million settlement, which would be paid to victims based on the category of abuse that each victim suffered. In a break down of the way that the money would be distributed, a “non-elite” athlete could be paid $508,670, where as an Olympic level athlete could be paid $1,250,757. 

Because apparently the level of abuse you suffered is dependent on whether or not you can stick a landing well enough to make the national team.

Oh, and by the way, if you take the money you’re banned from taking any future legal action against everyone who allegedly knew about Larry Nassar’s abuse. So that’s a fun addition. 

Some of the abused athletes, including Simone Biles, are speaking out against the settlement, and Aly Raisman has called it a “cover up.” Everyone is asking for better from USAG and the United States Olympic & Paralympic Committee (USOPC).

The Larry Nassar abuse scandal was absolutely horrific, and the effects of it are still being felt throughout the sport today – and will be for a long time. The athletes deserve so much better than hush money.

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Cooked Laws That Will Get You Fired Up For International Women’s Day

It's an international day for good reason.

International Women’s Day is this Sunday, and we’re celebrating International Women’s Week here at GOAT because why not? As much as there is to celebrate about being a woman in today’s world, there is also sadly a lot that really isn’t so great, and nothing exemplifies that more than some of the sexist laws that we still follow.

2020 marks the 25th anniversary of the 1995 Beijing Platform for Women, when 189 governments pledged to get rid of all the sexist laws in their countries. 25 years on, here are some of the very real laws that are still in place around the world that need to be spoken about.

CW: Sexual assault, domestic violence

Women Are Banned From Some Jobs

There are 104 countries that don’t give women the same job options as men. These laws differ from country to country, but generally any job that’s seen as “strenuous” or involved working at night won’t be open to women. 

Women Can Be Raped By Their Husbands

There are 10 countries in which forcing your wife to have sex with you is totally legal. In four of those countries, it’s still legal if your wife is a child. In Ghanian law, “consent given by husband or wife at marriage, for the purposes of marriage, cannot be revoked.”

Women Can Be Beaten

In 46 countries, there aren’t any laws that protect women from domestic violence. In Nigeria, she can be beaten as much and for as long as her partner likes, “for the purpose of correcting” her. As long as the man doesn’t cause “grievous bodily harm,” he’s good to go.

Men Can Inherit Twice As Much As Women

In Tunisia, there is a law stating that “where there are any sons, the male inherits twice as much as the female.” Cause you know, men are twice as valuable as women. A bill has been introduced to parliament to repeal this law, but it hasn’t passed yet.

A Woman Can Be Refused An Abortion

What is often a life saving procedure for a woman is an illegal practice in a lot of countries, because a fetus is considered more valuable than an adult woman. Legislators in Ohio have gone so far as to order doctors to ‘reimplant ectopic pregnancies’ or be charged with murder. It’s impossible to reimplant and ectopic pregnancy, by the way.

A Woman’s Whole Life Can Be Controlled By Men

Saudi Arabian women might be able to drive these days, but they still live under the male guardian system. From the day they’re born, every detail of women’s lives are controlled by their fathers, and then their husbands, and sometimes even brothers or sons.

Always be in the loop with our snackable podcast breaking the biggest story of the day. Subscribe to It’s Been A Big Day For… on your favourite podcast app.

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