Bleats

If We’re Stuck With Celebrity Presidents, Might As Well Be Cardi B

"I think I want to be a politician."

Cardi B has tweeted that she’d like to be a politician, and in all honesty I’m here for it.

She started off by straight up saying that “I think I want to be a politician” even though she’s not the biggest fan of the Government. Which is definitely fair, I don’t know if there would be many people out there who absolutely love their governments and agree with 100% of the things they do. I’d guess that the people that do are in those governments.

Anyway, she spoke a bit about how this train of thought came from watching war documentaries and that she doesn’t think anybody particularly loves being American. She took a raincheck on any more explanation though, and apparently we can expect a video with her full thoughts sometime in the future.

It’s probably not as bad an idea as you’d think. Cardi B has worked as a stripper, escaped an abusive relationship, and won herself a Grammy, all of which take an incredible amount of effort. She’s proven in interviews that she knows what she’s talking about when it comes to politics, which is more than can be said for a lot of other people. 

She’d also give a lot of people a heart attack if she got voted in, which I think would be fun to watch, but that’s probably not an actual reason to vote for someone.

Can you imagine?

Donald Trump is a whole category of nuts on his own, but he did set a major precedent with his election: celebrity presidents without any previous qualifications. Since Trump got in, Ukraine elected a guy named Volodymyr Zelensky, who was a comedian before putting his hand up for the top job. 

So screw it, it’s not impossible. I get the feeling she has a more legitimate chance of running than Kanye, so why not? If we’re living in a world where celebrities are the new leaders of nations, then Cardi B seems like a much better choice for a politician than some others.

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The Olympics Have Banned Protesting Because That Always Works

"Sport is neutral."

You know what goes well every single time? Telling people not to do something. If, hypothetically, the International Olympic Committee told athletes that they’d banned protesting, people absolutely would 100% not protest. 

Except it isn’t hypothetical, and the International Olympic Committee has actually decided to ban protesting. They’ve released a three page document outlining what people can and can’t do when it comes to activism. 

Specifically, they’re telling everyone that there will be “no kind of demonstration or political, religious or racial propaganda in any Olympic sites, venues or other areas.” So no raising a fist or taking a knee. Political signs and armbands are also banned. 

It’s not just the athletes that have to cop this either, it’s anyone with credentials, which means the coaches and officials are being watched too.

Why, I hear you ask? Because “sport is neutral” and “the focus at the Olympic Games must remain on athletes’ performances.”

Probably one of the most famous Olympic moments ever was during the 1968 Olympics when Tommie Smith and John Carlos raised their fists wearing black gloves on the podium to protest the treatment of Black Americans. It’s a historic moment, and the men were actually inducted into the U.S. Olympic and Paralympic Hall of Fame last year.

Fast forward to today, and there’s a hell of a lot going on in the world worth protesting. Climate change, the almost-war that Trump wants to start with Iran, everything Trump does really, and so many other things. The list is endless.

And as for claiming that sport is neutral? Neutral is still a position, guys. It’s a universal truth at this point that someone actively choosing not to take a side or make any comment whatsoever is taking the side of the oppressor – consciously or not. 

The Tokyo Olympics kick off in July. We’ll see how well people listen to this rule then.

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How On Earth Are People Angrier At Megxit Than Prince Andrew?

One of these is not like the other.

Yesterday Harry and Meghan kicked 2020 off by challenging Prince Andrew for the title of ‘Queen’s least favourite family members’, and announcing that they’re going to “step back as ‘senior’ members of the Royal Family and work to become financially independent, while continuing to fully support Her Majesty The Queen.”

Basically they quit because they’re sick of all the shit that comes with being royalty, and I really can’t blame them tbh. 

Seeing as one of the reasons they chucked it in was the fact that the UK tabloids have been seriously hostile to them, you won’t be surprised to find out that the reaction to this announcement has generally sucked. 

A prime example:

“Nothing has ever quite matched the behaviour of the ‘Duke and Duchess of Sussex.’” I mean, it’s been what? Two months? Three? Not a very long time since Prince Andrew was being raked over the coals for being involved with Jeffrey Epstein, and even allegedly sleeping with underaged girls he’d trafficked. 

The scandal was so bad that people were wondering what would happen if authorities actually decided to arrest him.

The interview Prince Andrew did was a train wreck, that’s undeniable. It felt like everyone on the planet saw it, and nobody on the planet believed him. But the general response was amusement, laughing at the fact that the Queen’s son really thought “I don’t sweat” was a good defence against anything, let alone statutory rape allegations. 

Sure, people were definitely not pleased with Prince Andrew, but I didn’t see any headlines as venomous as the ones directed at Harry and Meghan. 

(Let’s be real, mostly Meghan – even the most popular hashtag is #Megxit.)

Theoretically, I can understand the anger aimed at Harry and Meghan. People who think they haven’t been pulling their weight for whatever reason see this as a massive snub – and it is tbh – to other Royals that they like better. But that doesn’t excuse the reaction. 

So what’s different? Are Harry and Meghan more in the spotlight than Prince Andrew? Do people just accept Prince Andrew as a bit off after so many years of being sleazy? Is it because Meghan is a black woman?

Harry and Meghan have every right to tell the world to piss off, and we’re all just proving their case.

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