Bleats

Notorious Badass Princess Anne Is Set To Make History Taking Prince Harry’s Job

A true queen.

The last few months have been one hell of a ride for the Royals. Just when we thought it couldn’t get more dramatic than the Prince Andrew shitshow, Harry and Meghan threw the towel in and told everyone making their lives difficult to get stuffed. The fallout of both of these incidents has been ongoing, but we have a silver lining: everybody’s favourite Royal, Princess Anne, is going to make history by taking over one of Prince Harry’s positions. 

According to The Sunday Times, Queen Liz will soon make the announcement that Princess Anne will take over as Captain-General of the Royal Marines. She’ll be the first woman to ever hold the title.

Harry has only been Captain-General of the Royal Marines himself for a bit over two years, taking the role in December 2017 after Prince Philip retired from royal duties. Before that, Philip held the title for 64 years.

Remember Princess Anne getting in on a Trump gossip circle? Let the GOAT Team take you back…

Harry still has a couple of months left before he officially bows out and heads off with Meghan to live their best lives. There will reportedly be one final “farewell engagement” with the Royal Marines for Harry, and then Princess Anne will step into the role.

Princess Anne already has a long list of military titles to her name – she’s associated with 65 other military organisations – and is a notorious hard worker, so the extra workload is in safe hands. In 2019 she attended 506 engagements, coming second only to her brother Prince Charles, who attended 521.

Nice

It’s going to be quite a while before all the loose ends are tied up once #Megxit goes ahead, but I’m all here for this particular resolution. Although personally I’m on team ‘just give Anne the crown already’ so perhaps I’m biased. 

Either way, here’s to Princess Anne and her constant butt-kicking of life. 

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All The Times Politicians Proved They Shouldn't Dance In Public

Scott Morrison's Macarena is giving me hives.

Over the course of the week, we’ve been getting the results from the Iowa caucus. We should have had them pretty quickly but, of course, something went horribly wrong with an app and it ended up dragging out for what felt like a million years. Bernie Sanders has ultimately claimed victory, but for a long time it looked like Iowa would be won by Pete Buttegieg – a dude whose name I can’t hear without immediately wanting to burst into his stupid politician hype dance.

Hell yeah

And so, in honour of Mayor Pete and the fact that he’s ruined Panic! At The Disco for me forever, here are all the politicians who should have left their dancing shoes at home.

Pete Buttegieg, USA

Let’s start with the man who inspired this train of thought in the beginning. I’ll admit this one isn’t Pete Buttegieg himself dancing, rather it’s his supporters, but I’m going to say it counts.

I learned it after watching it once, and haven’t been able to stop doing it since.

Bill Shorten, Australia

This video will never not make me laugh. On a visit to Kiribati, Bill Shorten, wearing a traditional headdress, pulled off some moves I can only describe as ‘me when I don’t know anybody at a party.’

George W. Bush, USA

Dancing at a Malaria Awareness Day event, George W. Bush gave us… whatever this is. He’s certainly off beat, but at least he’s confident.

The Entire WA Liberal Party, Australia

Looking to get reelected for another term, the Western Australian Liberal party busted a move to Daft Punk’s One More Time. Get it? Cause they want to get in one more time? Funny, right?

Theresa May, UK

How was the Queen of badly dancing politicians not going to be here? Theresa May made headlines for her dorky dancing on a trip to South Africa. Later, she responded by entering the Tory Party Conference to Dancing Queen and dancing like an even bigger dork.

Scott Morrison, Australia

When he’s not pissing off to Hawaii, forcing people to shake his hand, or just generally being a huge disaster, our fearless leader is failing at the Macarena. Special appearances from the old NSW Premier Mike Baird, and notable unhinged boomer Kerri-Anne Kennerly.

Always be in the loop with our snackable podcast breaking the biggest story of the day. Subscribe to It’s Been A Big Day For… on your favourite podcast app.

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