Bleats

American Lawmakers Are Protesting Abortion By Forcing Vasectomies

"This will help prevent pregnancy as well as abortion of unwanted children."

Even if you haven’t been following the American abortion debate, you’ve probably caught quick mentions of how bad it can be over there. There’s Georgia’s ‘heartbeat bill’ which sparked boycotts from big Hollywood names, Ohio’s insistence that you can re-implant an ectopic pregnancy despite the fact that this is impossible, and Kansas is trying to change their state’s constitution to make abortion illegal. 

Want more dips into politics? Listen to the GOAT Team chat about Taylor Swift’s new found political voice…

For everyone that wants these laws to be passed, there are people that are absolutely against regulating what people (mostly women, let’s be real) can do with their bodies. We’ve seen a lot of protests in the streets over these bills, but one Alabama politician has come up with a more creative protest.

Last year, Alabama signed into law the Alabama Human Life Protection Act, an incredibly tough anti-aborion law which is aimed at forcing the Supreme Court to take another look at Roe Vs. Wade. 

In response, Democratic representative Rolanda Hollis has filed a bill that would require every man in Alabama to get a vasectomy after he has his third biological kid or when he turns 50. Whatever comes first. 

Speaking about the bill, Rolanda Hollis has said that “It takes 2 to tangle. This will help prevent pregnancy as well as abortion of unwanted children.”

Unsurprisingly, this has gone over like a lead balloon. Turns out the men folk in parliament don’t like the idea of having their reproductive rights taken away? Funny that. 

In a spectacular example of double standards, notoriously anti-abortion American Senator Ted Cruz (you know, the one who may or may not be the Zodiac Killer) has tweeted about what a bad idea the vasectomy bill is. And look, he’s right! It’s a terrible idea!

We shouldn’t force this sort of reproductive control on anybody of any gender. The fact that Cruz has somehow missed the fact that the bill is parodying his own beliefs has left us with a pretty spectacular own goal, though.

So before anybody gets too worried, there’s no way this protest bill will pass. Men from Alabama won’t be forced to get vasectomies and have their reproductive autonomy taken away from them. The women of Alabama? Well, that’s a whole different story.

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So Scott Morrison Really Undersold That 'Sports Rorts' Scandal, Huh?

Turns out way more grants were ineligible than anyone thought.

The ‘Sports Rorts’ scandal has been going on for so long now that it almost seems like it will never end. We’ve lost a Senator over it, and it’s still not wrapping up. The latest update is a spicy one though: Scott Morrison’s insistence that the grants were all given in a totally legitimate way has just been blown out of the water.

It’s going really well

To backtrack just quickly, the scandal revolves around funding for local sporting organisations.The Australian National Audit Office found that the Government gave $100 million worth of sports grants to sports clubs in “marginals” and “targeted” seats leading up to the 2019 election, and ignored the seats that they considered safe.

Basically if a hockey club in a safe electorate desperately needs more uniforms, they’re just going to have to cope with what they’ve got. Mosman Rowing Club though? Half a million dollars to them in an effort to save Tony Abbott’s spot in parliament. 

Spoiler: that didn’t work.

Fast forward to now, and there’s a Senate Inquiry trying to work out what on earth happened. Our fearless leader – Scott Morrison, aka Scotty From Marketing – has been insisting to everyone that there were “no ineligible projects” funded by the Government. The Senate Inquiry has discovered that not only is that objectively wrong, but almost half of the sports grants given were dodgy.

Yep, 43% of the grants given under the funding scheme have been ruled ineligible. 

Needless to say it’s gone over like a lead balloon with the Government, and has given us this beautiful ‘oh shit’ face from Liberal Senator, Eric Abetz.

Never ask a question you don’t know the answer to.

The ‘Sports Rorts’ Senate Inquiry still has a lot of digging to do, and we’ll likely get more info in the coming days as the truth gets dragged out of paperwork and politicians. One thing is for sure though, Scott Morrison is going to have a hard time spinning this one.

The only PR team working as hard as the Government’s is the PR team for the Royals. Check out the GOAT Team breaking it down…

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Prince Charles Is Donating His Garden Clippings To Punk Fashion, Seriously

Hey ho, let's go.

Prince Charles has been into environmentally conscious fashion since well before we all realised that the planet was burning down and all decided to cut down on plastic straws. His latest step into sustainable fashion is a bit of a left turn though, he’s giving up all his garden clippings in the name of punk clothes.

Yep, Prince Charles has collaborated with Vin+Omi, a British fashion brand inspired by punk, well known for making sure that all their designs are sustainable. His part of the deal is donating hydrangeas, nettles, willow, ash, wood chippings and horse hair clippings from the stables to the designer duo, who will then work their magic to turn them into the designs we see at London Fashion Week.

Maybe not the hair

“He is very aware of the materials and it’s quite humbling – people call us pioneers of sustainability, and then you meet someone like Prince Charles and he knows so much,” said Omi, speaking about the collab.

“Sometimes I can’t believe I’m talking to the future King of England – even to be having conversations around sustainability is bizarre because you would think that someone so privileged wouldn’t be interested, but he is very learned.”

If your first thought is along the lines of mine, and are wondering why anyone who calls themselves a punk would want anything to do with authority or the Royals (seriously, isn’t that the whole point of punk?), then fear not. Turns out not wanting the planet to burn is a topic that can bridge all sorts of gaps. 

“Our whole brand ethos is against everything that comes with establishment, but it’s amazing that something as simple as the environment can link different people together,” said Omi.

So brush up on your fashion knowledge and grab your nearest bag of garden clippings, cause it looks like the future of fashion is made of wood chips.

Want more Royals? Check out the GOAT Team giving you the rundown on #Megxit…

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