The Teletubbies began their integral existence in pop culture as stars of their own TV show – known for their unique and individual antenna, brightly-coloured appearance and named after the television screens on their tummies.
Even though the Teletubbies communicate purely through gibberish, I still somehow feel like I gauged enough intel from watching the show as a kid – and trawling the weird parts of the internet – to determine which of the Teletubbies is the most handsome.
(I also surveyed the 9 people who sit in my immediate vicinity to see who they thought was the most handsome Teletubby, but ultimately, this is entirely my doing and I will side with my own intuition – which is flawless.)
Least Handsome
I’d like to preface this and let you know how difficult this has been, but I’ve awarded ‘Least Handsome’ to Laa Laa. Based on her profile on Teletubbies Wiki, I’ve concluded that she is silly, cute and cheerful, yes, but not handsome.
I think she would make a great person to kinda fill out the group for drinks, but wouldn’t be the one I was crushing on from behind my vodka soda.
Second Least Handsome
Putting Tinky-Winky in the position of ‘Second Least Handsome’ is gonna piss off a lot of Teletubbies stans, but I beg you to hear me out. I have researched Tinky-Winky so thoroughly to make this decision, and I’ve concluded that although he’s a sexy, ten-foot-tall beast with a red bag and a dress, he’s kinda bland.
He reminds me of those boys in high school that hung out in the computer lab and smelt faintly of cheese, which I personally find unhandsome.
Second Most Handsome
I’ve surprised even myself with this one. Po, upon some research, is actually so handsome? The cuteness of this Teletubby shouldn’t take away from how handsome she really is. Po includes the audience more than any of the other Teletubbies, and that’s hella handsome of her.
There’s nothing more handsome than witnessing someone you’re crushing on be personable and charming with other people. ‘Second Most Handsome’, hands-down.
Most Handsome
Firstly, look at that handsome hat – the ‘Most Handsome’ Teletubby has style. Dipsy is a wildcard, but truly the correct choice. Dipsy’s Wiki claims that he can be sarcastic, confident and likes to go against the grain.
It’s also stated that Dipsy is intelligent and mature, so I feel like you could really have some good, heated conversations with him. If I saw him across the bar, I’d be like “f*ck, he’s handsome, I wanna dance with him.”
So there ya have it. The official ranking of Teletubbies from Least to Most handsome, and I’ll die on this hill. If you’re interested in more of my ranking adventures, I ranked a couple of my favourite dinosaurs based on how they’d treat you in a relationship.