Bleats

Mark Zuckerberg's Armpit Handler Undoubtedly Has The Worst Job At Facebook

Why care for his armpits himself like a pleb when he can pay someone to do it?

We all know that working at Facebook isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, and it’s not just based on watching The Social Network. Just ask all the poor content moderators who are stress-banging each other in office stairwells to deal with the trauma. But as awful as those jobs are, the worst job in Facebook almost certainly goes to the armpit handler for the social media/misinformation giant‘s alien (or robot) founder, Mark Zuckerberg.

Speaking of social media, the GOAT team talk about how Steven Spielberg’s daughter told the world on IG she’s becoming an adult entertainer on ‘It’s Been A Big Day For…’ below:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/2nPOnQjxxKdagvKYinbqrH?si=btq-9quSSPmdS5_LEsVMuw

Bloomberg published a review of a book titled Facebook: The Inside Story, which goes deep into the company and its executives, including Mark Zuckerberg. The book sounds like an intriguing look into the fustercluck that’s going on at the company, but that is all secondary to a bizarre anecdote Bloomberg found about Zuck and his sweaty armpits.

Apparently ol’ mate Zuck gets super nervous before he delivers a speech and gets a bad case of the anxiety sweats. Since a having a big visible sweat patch on your shirt isn’t a good look, the Facebook founder deals with it by getting a member of his communication team to blowdry his armpits before he takes to the stage.

Let’s see, moderate Facebook content or help dab the armpits of your CEO. That’s a tough decision but moderating traumatic Facebook content wins out here (barely) since dabbing an alien/robot’s armpits doesn’t sound pleasant.

Needless to say that thought of one of the world’s most powerful men getting someone to dry his armpits for him resulted in a roasting on social media (somewhat ironically), and Twitter chief executive had a pretty good dig at Zuck about it.

You’re probably wondering why doesn’t Mark Zuckerberg just deal with his sweaty armpits himself or simply not wear grey T-shirts. The answer is… actually we don’t have a good answer to that.

But when you’re the founder of Facebook, you have a lot of other things to worry about than your sweaty armpits so you might as well throw money at the problem.

And besides, masquerading as a human isn’t easy when you’re an alien (or robot) and Zuck probably didn’t know what humans did when his armpits started excreting some weird fluid and needed some outside assistance.

Always be in the loop with our snackable podcast breaking the biggest story of the day. Subscribe to It’s Been A Big Day For… on your favourite podcast app.

Gwyneth Paltrow Refuses To Accept Your Criticism, Even If It's Right

She's clearly never been told 'no' in her life.

We’ve alternated between dunking on and defending Gwyneth Paltrow for quite some time now, but her latest comments about constructive criticism and the media’s coverage of her and Goop have left me no choice but to give her a roasting that’ll make a turkey wince.

Speaking of Gwyneth Paltrow and Goop, the GOAT team talk about one of the few positives about her on ‘It’s Been A Big Day For…’ below:

Chatting to Variety about The Goop Lab, Gwyneth’s abomination of a Netflix show that’s just a glorified infomercial for scientifically debunked crap and practices, it is clear she has absolutely no clue why she gets absolutely shat on. When asked about the criticism she cops, Gwynny chalks it all down to clickbait, saying:

“I will never understand the level of fascination and projection. But we don’t want to not change the conversation just to please everybody.

“We do what we do in total integrity, and we love what we do. It doesn’t even matter, really, that some are trying to get attention for writing about us.”

That wasn’t the only shot she took at the media as she proceeds to say that the industry and its business model is “dying”, hence why there’s all this “Gwyneth Paltrow did something stupid” coverage as clickbait is how publishers survive.

But the most infuriating part is Gwynny’s attitude towards constructive criticism as she says she’s open to it, provided that “it was something [she] could learn from.”

Man, doesn’t Gwyneth Paltrow’s attitude just scream of a privileged white person who has never been told ‘no’ in her entire life?

Well sorry to break it to you, Gwyneth, but all the coverage you get isn’t because we wanted to rag on you – that’s just a bonus perk. You get dunked on repeatedly is because we – the media – have a responsibility to call out all the shoddy practices and dangerous items you keep shilling through Goop.

It’s not clickbait, it’s constructive criticism, which you say you are supposedly open to yet your actions and absolute refusal to change your stupid Goopy ways or listen to actual science tell us otherwise.

If I had it my way, I would treat Gwyneth Paltrow like a common houseplant and ignore her. But alas, we need to keep calling her out whenever she does some stupid crap because it’s less reporting and more akin to giving out PSAs at this point.

Since you say you’re open to constructive criticism, Gwynny, here’s a healthy serving of it: Do better.

Always be in the loop with our snackable podcast breaking the biggest story of the day. Subscribe to It’s Been A Big Day For… on your favourite podcast app.

Harry Styles’ Subtle Tribute To Caroline Flack At The BRIT Awards Is Very Sweet

No words needed to be said.

There was a question of whether Harry Styles would perform or even turn up to the 2020 BRIT Awards following the tragic death of his friend and former girlfriend, Caroline Flack.

The former One Direction member ultimately turned up to the event as planned and used his appearance to pay a subtle yet very respectful tribute to Caroline.

The GOAT team talk about Caroline Flack’s death and the conversation it started about mental health on ‘It’s Been A Big Day For…’ below:

Harry Styles caught everyone’s attention on the BRIT Awards red carpet when he rocked up in a double-breasted Gucci suit, pearl necklace and a lace bib collar. However, eagle-eyed folks noticed that he was also wearing a black ribbon, which is a symbol of remembrance and mourning.

While Harry didn’t mention or reference Caroline at all (not that he needed to), his black ribbon said enough as it was clearly his way of showing support to his late friend.

The black ribbon was a very sweet tribute to Caroline, but everyone’s attention was soon taken up by Harry and Lizzo‘s hilarious interactions, all of which helped give the BRIT Awards a bit of fun and levity.

But when it came time for Harry’s BRIT Awards performance, he took the stage in an all-white ensemble and performed a acoustic rendition of his song, ‘Falling’, which brought tears to all those watching.

Again, Harry didn’t make any reference or dedication to Caroline while on the stage, but fans couldn’t help but feel that he was also subtly paying tribute to his late friend with his highly emotional performance.

Between reportedly getting robbed at knife-point on Valentine’s Day to dealing with Caroline Flack’s death, it’s been a rough few days for Harry Styles and hats off to him to turning up to the BRIT Awards anyway when he had a very valid reason not to.

Always be in the loop with our snackable podcast breaking the biggest story of the day. Subscribe to It’s Been A Big Day For… on your favourite podcast app.

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