Bleats

Here Are All The Things You Can Anonymously Send Someone You Hate

Because sometimes you just need to be petty.

Sometimes it’s just not satisfying enough to let someone know that you don’t like them. Sometimes you find yourself in a situation where you can’t tell someone to go and shove it. Sometimes you just want to anonymously send someone something awful through the mail. No matter what category you find yourself in, I’m here to help.

Here is a list of things you can anonymously post to someone who’s been driving you insane.

Glitter

The obvious first choice. Annoying and impossible to get rid of, shipyourenemiesglitter.com is here for all your glitter related needs. As a bonus they’ll also send people a bang of dirt or spring loaded penis confetti. So many options.

Bricks

Is this a threat? This feels like a threat. Either way, you can write a nice message or just leave an ominous picture on a brick and post it to whoever you want.

A Middle Finger

Want to post your mate a blank piece of paper with a picture of someone giving the middle finger? Done.

Actual Poop

I mean, it was only a matter of time I guess. According to their website, you’ll be provided with “high quality, farm raised and eco-friendly, hand-picked animal poop.” Who could ask for anything more?

Dead Flowers

It sends one hell of a message, doesn’t it? Send your ex the thorny parts of a rose and some dead flowers, just in case they didn’t already know how you felt about them. Even if you send this one anonymously, I think it will be pretty obvious who it came from tbh.

Candles

Send someone a beautiful smelling candle, cause you’re such a good person. Until it burns through the top layer of wax and starts letting off an absolutely rank stench. Vanilla to dirty fart, anyone?

Nothing

Ship your mate a box full of packing peanuts. That’s it. They get nothing.

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Just Watch This Fully Grown Man Tackle The Mess He Created With Orbeez

The influencers are at it again.

Have you made bad choices in your life? Does your landlord hate you? Have you been pulled up by the cops for doing something unimaginably dumb? Well, I’m about to make you feel a whole lot better, because as bad as your ideas may have been, they’ll never be “accidentally destroy the neighbourhood sewer with Orbeez mess” dumb.

Enter this French dude named Cyril Schreiner. He filled his bath full of Orbeez as a thousand other Instagram influencers have before him, but instead of scooping them out like a regular human being, he pulled the plug. Our tale begins with Orbeez backing up his toilet and sink.

Before we entirely get lost in Orbeez Hell, Cyril blows up his vacuum cleaner trying to get rid of the Orbeez that way. Because jelly balls filled with water and the electronics of a vacuum were always going to be a good mix.

I think this is the point where we officially enter Orbeez Hell, and even just hell in general. While salt seems to save our brave influencer for a small amount of time, all hope is lost once the sewer starts backing up through his sink.

We head outside to see that Orbeez have come up through the sewerage system, and for some reason I cannot wrap my head around, he touches them?!?! He also gets a letter saying that the cops are looking for the person who blew the sewerage system up with goddam Orbeez.

In the final act of this gripping tale, our favourite genius seems to be getting a stern talking to by someone very official. I can’t speak French or German, but the tone of his voice tells me everything I need to know.

So there you have it, life could be worse. Your choices could have been a lot more disastrous and involved a lot more Orbeez and a lot more mess.

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Who Are The Grown Adults Stalking Finn Wolfhard, An Actual Child?

"As I walked faster, they walked faster."

It can’t be easy to grow up in the spotlight, and recently Millie Bobby Brown let us know what the last few years have been like for her. Overall though, the Stranger Things kids have done a stellar job of living while having their lives on show. Sometimes you just can’t escape the side effects of fame though, and because of that Finn Wolfhard has spoken about being stalked by grown adults.

In an interview for Mastermind Magazine, Finn – who is 17 now – spoke about some of the wild encounters he’s had with adult fans.

“When I was thirteen, some adults followed me back to my condo when I was shooting It. Stranger Things had just come out, and I was by myself. As I walked faster, they walked faster, and I was getting a bit antsy by the time I got to the door. Suddenly, they were like, ‘Hey, dude, can we get a selfie?’ And I was like, ‘No you can’t have a selfie! How about don’t follow children?’”

Can you imagine chasing a thirteen year old through the streets? And speeding up when they sped up? Probably not, because I imagine you aren’t the sort of walnut who would do that, but clearly someone out there is.

That’s not all.

“I also had my taxi followed and, out of the taxi, the person continued to be pretty relentless.”

Again, even this incident happened yesterday, Finn is 17 years old. It would be creepy as hell to do this to an adult, let alone an actual kid.

Finn Wolfhard is also a musician, and it turns out that the stalking isn’t just confined to his acting life.

“I’ve had to stop shows because people were getting crushed, and Ryan Reynolds almost got injured in Brazil when he went to the barricade. It was lucky that the hundred people who fell over it weren’t hurt.”

If you feel the urge to stalk a kid, may I suggest this one thing: for the love of everything holy, don’t do that.

Always be in the loop with our snackable podcast breaking the biggest story of the day. Subscribe to It’s Been A Big Day For… on your favourite podcast app.

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