For all the crap we heap on Gwyneth Paltrow – and boy has there been a lot of crap – the one thing we have to admire is the way she brushes off all the quips lobbed in her direction and continues to live her life. Case in point: she’s going to gift herself a Goop-branded vibrator this Christmas and she’s goddamn proud of it.
In an ad promoting Goop’s line of super-expensive Christmas stuff (called G. Label) folks might be interested in buying for themselves or other unfortunate souls, we see Gwyneth Paltrow posing up a storm with her products, all while a baritone voiceover drops cheeky lines and innuendos like “someone’s double-fisting and dammit, she’s earning it” as she’s holding a martini in each hand.
But the pièce de résistance of the ad is when we see Gwenny reach into a Christmas stocking and pull out a Goop vibrator (which looks like a week-old carrot that’s been left in the fridge TBH), all while the voiceover says things like “don’t forget about number one” and “yes, that is a vibrator.”
You know what, good on you Gwyneth Paltrow for gifting yourself a Goop vibrator and owning it. That’s the kind of DGAF energy we admire here at GOAT.
For those who are curious about Gwenny’s wilted carrot vibrator, you can buy it on the Goop website for around $130AUD, which is actually not that bad compared to other vibrators on the market and is certainly far better than the other random crap that’s sold on there (*cough* jade eggs *cough*).
Being the maker of your own Christmas miracle while bring Joy to the (and her) world is a hell of a mood from the one and only Gwyneth Paltrow. Please don’t ever stop doing whatever it is you’re doing.
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