Bleats

Old Men Fighting Over Push-Ups Is Where Politics Is At, So Let Women Take Over And Actually Get Work Done

It's about time.

I’m not one for politics, I’ll admit that openly. But even I can tell that there are way too many old white dudes in charge. 

I see it every time I watch the news: another white dude giving another address on another stupid policy. 

Julia Gillard was the first female Australian Prime Minister and we haven’t seen the likes of her since 2013. 

Iconic. Source: Giphy

In 2019, 127 (106D, 21R) women hold seats in the United States Congress, comprising 23.7% of the 535 members. Impressive. Until I remember that the position of top dog is still held by a man who is the same age as my grandfather. 

Hilary Clinton came close to getting the presidency but not close enough. Her candidacy, while inspiring, brought no long-term change. Unless you count empowering a bunch of women and inspiring us all to buy a pantsuit as long-term change. 

I wish we could. Source: Giphy

The country running has been left to, you guessed it, the elderly white dudes. But not just any elderly white dudes – the kind whose egos far outweigh any legitimate political concern or constructive idea they have. Male politicians like President Donald Trump and ex-Vice President Joe Biden are too busy comparing their manhood. 

Just this week, Joe publicly challenged Trump to do push-ups on stage. 

 “I’d say, ‘C’mon Donald, c’mon man. How many push-ups do you want to do here, pal?’” Biden said. “I mean, jokingly. . . . C’mon, run with me, man.”

The politician shared his master scheme to prove his legitimacy during an interview on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” in which he was pressed on whether he is tough enough to stand up to Trump given his sub-par performance in a recent Democratic debate.

This isn’t the first time that Joe has spoken about getting physical with Trump. 

Last year, while campaigning for congressional candidates, Joe talked about fighting the president because of the disrespectful way he has talked about women.

“If we were in high school, I’d take him behind the gym and beat the hell out of him,” Biden told a crowd at the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla., in March 2018.

I should probably note here that Joe Biden is only three years Donald Trumps senior: a old 76 years old to Trump’s young 73. 

I should also highlight that the two politician’s ability to workout together or fight one another is in no way a measure of their leadership skills. I feel like that goes without say. And yet…

For me, the school boy stupidity of Biden and Trump conclusively proves that it’s time for women to take over. Can we be petty? Sure. But we’ll also get the job done. 

Research shows that women are more productive than men. 10 per cent more, to be exact. 

As a female myself, I can confirm this. Also, multitasking is a skill every female is born with which only gives us more of an edge. Michelle Obama’s biceps are proof – she had time to make herself feel good, look good, and inspire an entire nation. 

Sure, Michelle wasn’t technically a politician. But she was still a powerful woman at the forefront of society, which is what we need more of. Maybe America doesn’t want to elect Hilary Clinton, and maybe Australian won’t see the likes of Julia Gillard for another 50 years, but that does’t mean they shouldn’t be running the show. 

They definitely should be. 

Robert Pattinson Says He Smells Like A Crayon And I Need To Know Which Colour

Another wild yarn from R-Patz.

Robert Pattinson has gained quite a reputation for spinning wild yarns during interviews, but his most recent comments on his body odour have me truly shaken.

In a recent interview with Allure the star of the upcoming The Batman film said, “Lots of people tell me I smell like a crayon.”

The interviewer – understandably bewildered by this statement – then asked, “Like you’re made of wax?”

To which R-Patz responded, “Yes! Like I’m embalmed.”

I have so many questions. What colour crayon does Pattinson smell like? What brand? Is he using lots of crayons? And most importantly, who are these multiple people who are telling him he smells like crayon!? Is that an insult, or a compliment?

It’s not the first time Robert Pattinson’s scent has come up in conversation. Back in 2009, E! News reported that an unidentified source who worked “very closely” with the actor on New Moon said “he stinks.”

“I mean, it’s awful,” the source said. “He never showers, and it drives people on the set crazy.”

“He completely reeks,” an unidentified crew member added. Yikes.

It’s been over a decade since then, so we can only hope Robert Pattinson has swapped his lack of showering for an obsession with crayons. 

Speaking of celebrity scents, celebrity tattoo artist Lauren Winzer dishes on what Post Malone smells like on It’s Been A Big Day For…below:

During his interview with Allure, Pattinson was also asked about being recently named the “most handsome man” in the world according to science.

“It’s weird,” he said. “I never was really up for the good-looking-guy roles, because I’ve always been quite awkward when meeting people.”

“My Harry Potter role was a good-looking guy, and it was a shock that it was quite easy to get. And then in Twilight, [Edward is] beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. When I turned up for the auditions, I had done a job where I’d dyed my hair black, because I had an inch and a half of roots, and I had waxed my body. And then I had a few months where I’d been drinking beer all day, so I had this hairless, chubby body. I looked like a baby with a wig on.”

Hairless, chubby, waxed or smelling like a crayon – we’ll take Robert Pattinson any which way.

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