Bleats

These Seriously Cooked Pokemon Fusions Top The New Gen, Let's Be Honest

Sorry but not sorry.

After eight generations of games and over 800 different creatures, it’s perhaps no surprise that the creative minds behind Pokemon are a little burnt out when trying to think up of new monsters.

Just take some of the latest Pokemon designs in the upcoming new games, Pokemon Sword and Shield. There two new legendary creatures, one of which looks like a wolf holding a sword while the other looks like another wolf with a shield as part of its face. It’s not quite on the level of Ditto with a nut on its head but it’s clear that some fresh ideas are needed.

Something will come. Eventually.

Luckily, they won’t have to look far because fans have been creating some seriously cooked creatures using a hilarious Pokemon fusion online program.

For those who are unaware, the Pokemon fusion online program was originally launched in 2010 by developer Alex Onsager and the concept was very simple: Put two creatures into the program and it’ll spit out some fusion monstrosity.

The program initially got super popular in 2013 and spawned several memes, such as the infamous Be Strong For Mother joke. As for why it is popular again in 2019 all of a sudden, well who cares? It’s still funny and the designs are still disgustingly fantastic.

Just check out some of these cooked mashups and tell me honestly that they’re not better than the latest generation of monsters.

Just for fun, I decided to let the program work its magic on a starter Pokemon for me and it spat out a hell of a doozy.

Allow me to present to you all… CLEFUSAUR.

I will protect Clefusaur with my life and cherish it forever, or until I get bored and want a new starter.

The New Pokemon Sleep Mobile Game Is A Far Better Meme Than An App

Tune in for the announcement, stay for the jokes.

Brace yourselves as there’s a new Pokemon mobile game coming that you can play in your sleep.

I’m not talking about it being super easy, I mean you literally play it while you’re off in dreamland.

Called Pokemon Sleep, this new mobile game sounds like a glorified sleep tracker as it keeps tabs on your sleeping patterns and then adjusts the gameplay accordingly. Apparently the aim is to make sleeping “fun”, not unlike how Pokemon GO made walking fun (and dangerous). Somehow.

Unsurprisingly, the internet had a field day with this announcement and honestly, Pokemon Sleep is shaping up to be a better meme than an actual game.

Some noted how The Pokemon Company seem to be dipping its toes into self-care/health stuff with GO and Sleep, and have made some great suggestions for future games. Really keen for Pokemon CO2 Emission Cap.

Others (including myself) are already declaring themselves to be masters of the game already based on one simple, yet important criteria: the ability to sleep.

And then there were just a bunch of random gems from some truly creative minds, which makes you marvel in amazement at the internet’s creativity when there’s sufficient motivation.

As for how the game will pull off this “make sleep fun” thing, well, I have no idea as The Pokemon Company are keeping its cards close to its chest. Apparently you will need to use a new device called the “Pokemon Go Plus +” (yes, that is indeed pronounced “plus plus”) which will track your steps when you’re playing Pokemon GO during the day and then track your sleep while “playing” Pokemon Sleep at night.

Look, it makes very little sense on paper but hey, I’m all for a game that requires me to do nothing but sleep. Sleep is scheduled to come out at some point in 2020 so make sure to not sleep too much until then. You’ll want to be nice and tired for when the game arrives.

Detective Pikachu Disapproving Of Psyduck's Physical Affection Is Such A Mood

Find the overly affectionate Psyduck to your disapproving Pikachu.<br />

We’re in the homestretch now before the release of Detective Pikachu and Ryan Reynolds has decided to kick things up a notch by releasing a new trailer because, well, he’s Ryan Reynolds and he does what he wants.

Set to the backdrop of Louis Armstrong’s “What A Wonderful World”, the new trailer takes on a bit more of a weepy mood. While we don’t get any new reveals on the level of Mewtwo and Lickitung or much in the way of plot reveals, we do get a few sweet moments, such as Bulbasaur and Squirtle looking adorable:

Snubbull looking absolutely done with everyone’s shenanigans:

“I hate you and everything.”

But the best moment of the entire trailer is Psyduck pulling Detective Pikachu into a big hug and receiving a look of instant disapproval of being handled in such a manner by an oversized duck.

Just hug it out.

After all the goofiness of the last couple of trailers, the latest one is surprisingly wholesome and, dare I say it, somewhat emotional. Didn’t think I would end up saying that about a movie about CGI Pokemon but here we are.

With so much cuteness in store for us come May 10, Detective Pikachu may be the magical self-care we all need after Game Of Thrones ends and Avengers: Endgame renders us into an emotional mess.

In the meantime, check out the new Detective Pikachu trailer here and find the overly-affectionate Psyduck to your disapproving Pikachu.

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