Bleats

Would You Sign Your Life Away To See Pete Davidson's Super Secret Stand-Up Show?

It's either that or pay $1 million.

If you’ve ever been to a Pete Davidson stand-up gig, you’re probably aware that he hates phones. Specifically, audience members who use their phones to film him performing his material rather than, you know, actually watching him perform his material.

It must be pretty frustrating to see audience members filming you while you’re performing in-progress jokes and then seeing your unpolished material turn up on the internet somewhere. To stop this from happening, the comedian has decided to implement some rather extreme measures to prevent any potential leaks.

According to attendees (via Complex) who attended a bunch of the comedian’s stand-up shows in San Francisco, not only were they required to cloak their phones, they were required to sign an NDA in order to even gain entry into the gig.

While cloaking phones and even NDAs aren’t too unusual, the conditions imposed by Pete Davidson’s NDA are pretty ridiculous.

The NDA requirement was reportedly (via The San Francisco Chronicle) only sent out to attendees hours before the scheduled stand-up gig. Those who didn’t sign it weren’t allowed entry and would get a full refund instead.

For those who did sign the NDA, they were barred from sharing literally any comment about Pete’s stand-up gig in any shape or form, whether it’s a TV interview or even a simple “it was good/bad” tweet. Should anyone violate the conditions outlined in the signed NDA, they’ll cop a massive $1 million fine.

There are only two explanations as to why Pete Davidson would so to such extreme lengths to avoid anyone leaking his stand-up material: he’s filming a stand-up special or he’s sensitive to any form of criticism, constructive or otherwise.

The first reason is plausible as Pete could be filming a super secret project for Netflix or something and they don’t want any details or jokes leaking out early. Then again, it could also be as simple as Pete being a big baby and doesn’t want anyone saying mean things about his stand-up.

With all those strict stipulations in place, the big question we must now as is whether it is worth signing your life away just to see a Pete Davidson stand-up gig that you’re not even allowed to acknowledge in any shape or form afterwards.

Seems like the hassle isn’t worth it and you’re better off waiting for the stand-up special to drop on Netflix or just watch Pete on SNL instead.

Pete Davidson's Sexual Awakening Moment Came Courtesy Of Leonardo DiCaprio

Join the club, Pete.<br /> All that Big Leo Energy gave way to his BDE.

Everyone goes through that awkward sexual awakening moment as a teen at some point and it almost always involves someone ridiculously good-looking. For Saturday Night Live‘s Pete Davidson, his big moment wasn’t some attractive model from a magazine or anything you’d expect. It was none other than Leonardo DiCaprio.

Huh.

Chatting to Paper Magazine, the Saturday Night Live star’s renowned BDE was brought up, which in turn led to a tangent about him being the sexual awakening for many young women.

After expressing how weird it is to be the cause of many people’s fapping material, Pete revealed that he used to “jerk off to Leonardo DiCaprio” for “his acting.” Sure, Pete.

“Acting.”

Fleshing out his own big sexual awakening moment, Pete says he used to have a “HUGE” (the all caps is needed) crush on Leo and went all teen fan girl over the Hollywood star.

“Yeah. I used to have a HUGE crush on Leonardo DiCaprio. I had this huge poster of him from The Beach in my room, and there used to be, like, ‘Leo love books’… Do you remember?

“Like, right when Titanic came out [when I was] in like third or fourth grade, he was just like, ‘teen milk.’ There were love books and I had all of them. He was the coolest.”

As for whether he’s actually met Leo given how these two are part of the Hollywood A-list, Pete says he’s met his teen crush “twice” but has done nothing more than “shaken hands” before running away because it’s a little much for him and his hormones to handle.

Can’t say we really blame Pete there.

Hey, we certainly understand the fascination with TitanicThe Beach era Leonardo DiCaprio. The dude was hawt stuff back in the day.

We also shouldn’t be surprised that Pete Davidson had no qualms over telling folks about his fapping habits. Hell, he certainly wasn’t shy about telling everyone how much he jerked off to his ex-fiance, Ariana Grande.

So good on you, Pete, for sharing your Leonardo DiCaprio crush with everyone. All that big Leo energy seems to have given way to all that BDE so it’s been a win-win for the Saturday Night Live star.

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