Bleats

A Politician Played With Parks And Rec And Ben Wyatt Took That Clown To Ice Town

You don't audit the auditor.

Mitch McConnell is the leader of the Republican majority in the US senate, and in Australia he is known, if at all, for two things:

One, being a difficult and at times obstructionist force for Republicans, notorious during the Obama years for taking up hours of senate time on “filibusters” designed to run out the clock and prevent legislation being voted upon.

And two, looking like a wizard turned a cartoon turtle into a real boy.

“Majority leader in the Senate, you say?”

Sorry. That’s unfair. Apologies, Mitch.

Would… would you like some lettuce?

Anyway, it might be a little hard to do spicy social media content when your employer is a socially conservative 77 year old whose major achievements are childishly preventing the world’s largest democracy from functioning.

And thus his social media team have been forced to try other things, like Parks and Recreation gifs.

Hence, “Team Mitch” posted this gif of Ben Wyatt on Twitter:

…and it went down very, very badly with the man who played him, Adam Scott, who had a few conditions on the use of his image.

Even so, it’s also a really weird flex for a serious political figure to evoke Ben Wyatt since one of the main things the character was known for in the show was his dismal political career.

In the character’s backstory Wyatt became the youngest ever mayor of Partridge, Minnesota and spent the entire budget on a citywide winter-themed sports park called Ice Town, for which he was impeached immediately afterwards.

“They were big into rhymes.”

Still, if McConnell wants to show solidarity with another terrible politician that’s presumably his business.

Also: why is no-one in Canberra building us an Ice Town? Come on, clowns: get down with the town.

Robert Pattinson Says He Smells Like A Crayon And I Need To Know Which Colour

Another wild yarn from R-Patz.

Robert Pattinson has gained quite a reputation for spinning wild yarns during interviews, but his most recent comments on his body odour have me truly shaken.

In a recent interview with Allure the star of the upcoming The Batman film said, “Lots of people tell me I smell like a crayon.”

The interviewer – understandably bewildered by this statement – then asked, “Like you’re made of wax?”

To which R-Patz responded, “Yes! Like I’m embalmed.”

I have so many questions. What colour crayon does Pattinson smell like? What brand? Is he using lots of crayons? And most importantly, who are these multiple people who are telling him he smells like crayon!? Is that an insult, or a compliment?

It’s not the first time Robert Pattinson’s scent has come up in conversation. Back in 2009, E! News reported that an unidentified source who worked “very closely” with the actor on New Moon said “he stinks.”

“I mean, it’s awful,” the source said. “He never showers, and it drives people on the set crazy.”

“He completely reeks,” an unidentified crew member added. Yikes.

It’s been over a decade since then, so we can only hope Robert Pattinson has swapped his lack of showering for an obsession with crayons. 

Speaking of celebrity scents, celebrity tattoo artist Lauren Winzer dishes on what Post Malone smells like on It’s Been A Big Day For…below:

During his interview with Allure, Pattinson was also asked about being recently named the “most handsome man” in the world according to science.

“It’s weird,” he said. “I never was really up for the good-looking-guy roles, because I’ve always been quite awkward when meeting people.”

“My Harry Potter role was a good-looking guy, and it was a shock that it was quite easy to get. And then in Twilight, [Edward is] beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. When I turned up for the auditions, I had done a job where I’d dyed my hair black, because I had an inch and a half of roots, and I had waxed my body. And then I had a few months where I’d been drinking beer all day, so I had this hairless, chubby body. I looked like a baby with a wig on.”

Hairless, chubby, waxed or smelling like a crayon – we’ll take Robert Pattinson any which way.

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