Between ushering in sexy environmental activism and being there for people on Valentine’s Day, Pornhub are doing some amazing things these days.
And now they’re back with a product that will make the lives of boys going through puberty so much easier: the *checks notes* Bonerless bathing suit.
That’s right, the leading provider of internet pornography has released a limited edition male swimsuit that will conceal any unwanted trouser snake awakenings that may occur when you’re at the beach and/or pool.
To show that this isn’t a joke, Pornhub have released a totally serious video plugging these shorts that’s not funny or making fun itself. Not at all.
This isn’t some half-assed effort either as Pornhub has put some actual thought behind these swimming trucks.
While the outside layer looks like your regular shorts, there’s a special built-in inner layer that’s made from “100% lycra” that’s designed to “hold down” your dong without any discomfort or strangulation while maintaining sufficient breathing room.
Now if you’re interested in this bonerless technology then you’re going to have to pony up because these magical schlong masking shorts will set you back a hefty $USD69.69 (oh I see what they did there).
That’s about $100 which is pretty expensive but hey, that’s a price worth paying if it meant avoiding any unwanted appearances from your one-eyed monster.
Just a heads up though, these shorts come with a big Pornhub logo on them so you will have to put up with everyone judging you and your swimmers. But hey, people will probably be more focused on that than your boner so that’s a win-win.
Of course you could just wear a pair of compression shorts underneath a regular pair of swimming shorts but where’s the fun in that.