Bleats

Robert Pattinson Is Happy To "Keep Masturbating" In Films, But Isn't So Keen On Death Threats

"At least I didn't get death threats this time!"

Robert Pattinson isn’t afraid of self-love, especially when it comes to his film characters.

During a recent interview with The New York Times, R-Patz spoke about his “ferocious masturbation scene” in the new film The Lighthouse, which came out this week. 

“My first shot was this ferocious masturbation scene,” he said. “It’s always nice to do something massive for your opening shot, and I went really massive on the first take.” Pattinson added that director Robert Eggers was “a little in shock afterward.”

It’s not the first time R-Patz has spoken about his love of ‘whomping the willow’ on set. Speaking to Variety, Pattinson said, “I keep masturbating. In the last three or four movies, I’ve got a masturbation scene.”

“I did it in High Life. I did it in Damsel. And The Devil All The Time. I only realised when I did it the fourth time.”

That’s a lot of fapping for the love of film.

In his New York Times interview, Pattinson spoke about mixed reactions to the recent announcement he’d be playing Bruce Wayne in the new Batman movie.

“Maybe I’m used to the abuse by now,” he said. “At least I didn’t get death threats this time – that’s a plus! It’s funny that people are so very angry about Twilight. I never particularly understood it.”

It sounds like R-Patz is quite happy to keep jerking off in the name of great cinema, if it means he can leave his fresh-faced Edward Cullen phase in the past. In a 2011 interview with Vanity Fair, the actor said he couldn’t understand the “crazy” behaviour of the Twilight fandom.

“I can’t really understand it even now,” he said. “It does have an angle which is attached to something quite primal in girls. I guess people want it to define them, like, ‘I’m a Twilight fan.’ That’s crazy to me. I think people really just like being part of a crowd. There’s something just tremendously exciting about hyping yourself up to that level.”

The future for Robert Pattinson is looking like it’ll include fewer crazy fans and more ‘intimate’ moments on-screen. Looking forward to it, Rob.

Take That 'Clueless' Mystery Series Reboot And Throw It In The Bin Where It Belongs

Literally no one wants “Mean Girls meets Riverdale meets a Lizzo music video.”

Prepare to be totally buggin’ because apparently Clueless is being rebooted by CBS TV Studios as a “dramatic television series with a mystery twist.’

Ugh, as if.

According to Deadline, the Clueless reboot will be a “dramatic take on the high school comedy centered on the Dionne character played by Stacey Dash in the movie and in the 1996 series adaptation.”

Yes, that’s right. In 1996, a year after the iconic film was released, Paramount produced a Clueless TV series. It ran for three seasons and featured the film’s OG cast – minus Alicia Silverstone due to a development deal with another production company. 

Credit: Paramount TV

Fast-forward to 2019 and CBS TV Studios are keen to dig the film up from its peaceful grave for round three. The series has been described as “a baby pink and bisexual blue-tinted, tiny sunglasses-wearing, oat milk latté and Adderall-fueled look at what happens when the high school queen bee Cher disappears and her lifelong No. 2 Dionne steps into Cher’s vacant Air Jordans.”

“How does Dionne deal with the pressures of being the new most popular girl in school, while also unraveling the mystery of what happened to her best friend, all in a setting that is uniquely 2020 L.A.?” Deadline writes.

It’s also being touted as “Mean Girls meets Riverdale meets a Lizzo music video.” Yikes.

Am I the only one who thinks this is a terrible idea!? While the chatter on Twitter suggests some people are “here for the gritty reboot,” others share my concerns and have taken to the social media platform to share their feelings.

Clueless was a cult favourite – the kind of movie that’s enjoyable to rewatch over and over again over 20 years after its original release. When will we learn to leave these icons alone and stop rebooting and remaking everything?

Why Did It Take So Long For The Kim Kardashian Robbery To Become A Movie?

It was the robbery that had the whole world talking.

It’s been three years since the Kim Kardashian was robbed and held hostage at gunpoint during Paris Fashion Week. Variety recently announced the terrifying incident is being turned into a film, but why has it taken this long?

According to Variety, French comic book artist and filmmaker Joann Sfar has just released the graphic novel Fashion Week inspired by the Kim Kardashian robbery and is now developing a French film “loosely based on the incident.”

Marion Festraëts, who is co-writing the script and directing the film, said the film will be a comedy “exploring the themes of feminism, masculinity, and patriarchy in today’s society.”

Sfar told Variety that the film will address “violence against women, the relationship between the very rich and the less rich, the world of fashion and the encounter between figures of new and old worlds.”

As for the plot, Fashion Week is said to revolve around a group of older thieves who plan to rob a famous influencer in Paris and “find themselves embroiled in the whirlwind of Fashion Week.” Sfar added that instead of casting a Kim K lookalike, they’ll go for “someone who captures what the reality-show star represents.”

It sounds like Fashion Week isn’t a play-by-play recount of Kardashian’s robbery, but more of an ‘adaptation’ of the events. 

It’s disappointing that Lifetime, the network behind biographical films like Oscar Pistorius: Blade Runner Killer, Who Killed JonBenet? Harry & Meghan: A Royal Romance and the upcoming college admission scandal film about Lori Loughlin and Felicity Huffman, didn’t jump at making a film about the Kim Kardashian robbery back in 2016.

ICYMI, or you weren’t keeping up with the Kardashians back in 2016, five individuals disguised as police officers broke into Kim’s Paris apartment, bound and gagged her, then stole $10M worth of jewellery. In 2017, French police arrested 16 people and 11 were charged in connection to the robbery.

Kim’s recount of the event was horrifying and so unbelievable it sounded like the stuff of movies – here’s hoping Fashion Week does it justice.

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