Bleats

Nobody, Not A Single Soul, Not One Person On Earth Wants A Remake Of The Princess Bride

INCONCEIVABLE.

It feels like there’s an announcement of a new movie or TV remake everyday at the moment, and to be completely honest, it’s starting to get a little tiresome.

It’s getting a little boring now.
Credit: Giphy

As an entertainment-hungry society, we’ve done a decent job at accepting the countless reboots, spinoffs and remakes as nostalgic and a nod to simpler times. However this week, the collective Internet put their foot down with a firm “inconceivable!”

Seriously. Credit: Giphy

It all started when Sony Pictures Entertainment CEO Tony Vinciquerra revealed that some “very famous people whose names I won’t use” expressed interest in a remake of the 1987 classic The Princess Bride.

It didn’t take long for Twitter to clap back, claiming that the original was so good “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!” And I have to agree. Not every successful movie or TV show needs to be exhumed, brought back to life, and given a ‘2019 twist.’ Some things should just be left alone – and The Princess Bride is one of those movies.

Credit: Twitter
Credit: Twitter
Credit: Twitter

We’re not the only ones who are opposed to a remake of The Princess Bride. The Ellen Show producer Andy Lassner tweeted, “I will vote for the Presidential candidate who includes not remaking The Princess Bride as part of their platform,” and actress Jamie Lee Curtis referenced the fact she’s married to Christopher Guest who played Count Rugen in the film. 

Credit: Twitter

“Oh really? Well, I married the six fingered man, obviously why we have stayed together for 25 years and there is only ONE The Princess Bride and it’s William Goldman and @robreiner’s,” she tweeted, including an iconic quote from the film: “Life is pain highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something!”

Credit: Twitter

Even actor Cary Elwes, who played Westley AKA Dread Pirate Roberts in the film took to Twitter to express his concern, writing, “There’s a shortage of perfect movies in this world. It would be a pity to damage this one.”

Credit: Twitter

Looks like this time around the big wigs at Sony needs to give the people what they want, which is most definitely not a remake of The Princess Bride.

The Queer Eye Fellas Face Toxic Masculinity In The Big Mouth Season 3 Trailer

Coach Steve gets the JVN treatment.

Yesterday, Netflix worlds collided when Queer Eye’s Fab Five teased their cameos in the upcoming season of Big Mouth.

Today, Big Mouth released the official trailer for season three and, wow, there’s a lot to unpack.

It opens with one of Big Mouth’s main characters, Jessi, competing on a ‘masturbation game show’ called ‘Do The Thing!!!’ which really sets the tone for the rest of the hilarious trailer.

Later, characters tackle the issue of toxic masculinity and high school scandals, and Andrew even finds himself facing the consequences of an incestuous relationship with his cousin.

All the usual suspects make a comeback in season two of Big Mouth, including the show’s beloved hormone monsters and the Ghost of Duke Ellington, voiced by Jordan Peele.

The Ghost of Duke Ellington. Credit: Giphy

The Fab Five make their Big Mouth debut at the end of the trailer when they’re assigned to give Coach Steve a much-needed makeover. 

Jonathan Van Ness asks him, “what is your current grooming situation, sweetie?” and Coach Steve responds, “I call it ‘the brush,’ cos it’s one brush I use for all my parts: my head, my teeth, my peena.” 

“And my a**hole,” he adds. “Jesus in my vagina…that poor brush,” JVN responds.

Coach Steve. Credit: Giphy

Big Mouth season one and two saw the 7th graders navigate their way through puberty, struggling with issues around friendship, sexuality, masturbation, periods and parents. The show, created by comedian Nick Kroll, received critical acclaim with a 100% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

With a cast made up of much-loved comedians including John Mulaney, Jessi Klein, Jason Mantzoukas, Jenny Slate, Fred Armisen, Maya Rudolph, and Nick Kroll himself, it’s no surprise that the show has been a huge success. 

Big Mouth is a hit. Credit: Giphy

By the looks of it season three is much more of the same stuff with a few more current references added in for good measure.

Big Mouth season three drops on Netflix on October 4th. Prepare to giggle inappropriately.

Someone Legit Orgasmed During Tom Hiddleston's Broadway Show

Hiddleston got a big o-vation.

Tom Hiddleston deserves some respect. Not only did he survive the social media sh*tstorm that was his 2016 relationship with Taylor Swift, but he’s been getting rave reviews for his role in the Broadway production of Betrayal, and giving members of the audience the big O!

According to Page Six, an attendee of Betrayal revealed on the All That Chat message board that a person sitting in their row had a legit orgasm during Hiddleston’s performance.

Well done, Tom. Credit: Giphy

The commenter explained that the “young woman in her thirties,” had quite an ‘excited’ response to Hiddleston’s fine acting. “My companion could feel a rhythmic banging against his armrest, punctuated by occasional low moans and giggles,” they wrote.

“[It] got faster and faster until there was one slightly louder ‘Ha,’ and she resumed her normal seat position, put her head back and closed her eyes.”

A bit like this? Credit: Giphy

It does sound like the throes of passion, which was only confirmed when the punter appeared to orgasm for a second time. According to the commenter, during the part of Betrayal when Hiddleston kisses his co-star Zawe Ashton, “the panting woman kicked off Round 2, again adjusting her seat, furiously pounding her armrest, letting out a ‘Ha’ and dozing off.”

Oooh. Credit: Giphy

The woman reportedly “enthusiastically applauded at the end, and quickly exited,” fleeing the theatre never to be seen again.

The commenter finished their post, “the show was really wonderful and the cast first-rate…but you might want to avoid seat B-3.”

Awkward. Credit: Giphy

There’s no doubt that Tom Hiddleston is a handsome man, and clearly his acting was so good in Betrayal it brought one very horned up attendee to climax. Good for him, I say.

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