‘Santa Baby’, preferably the Eartha Kitt version, is a classic for a reason: slinky, saucy, and definitely for grownups. No magical snowman friends here.
And there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be spoiled. If your paramour can afford to buy you a yacht, and you have the kind of relationship where you expect extravagant presents and a proposal of marriage in return for not making out with anyone else, that’s your business.
But it still does feel as outdated as the ‘54 convertible Eartha has on her list. So when Miley Cyrus turned up to perform the song on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, she came with rewritten lyrics that feel a bit more apt for women who are more interested in dignity than diamonds.
Santa baby, I don’t need any fancy jewellery
Not me
I’ve got something else in mind
Santa baby, I don’t need your presents tonightDon’t want diamonds, cash or stocks
Nothing that comes in in a box
No more fluff, I’ve had enough
And I can buy my own damn stuff
https://youtu.be/rPdXgCq_Rlg
Santa baby, I’d love to know my ass won’t get grabbed at work
By some ignorant jerk…Listen Santa, to what I say
A girl’s best friend is equal pay
To stop interrupting me when I talk
And don’t text me pictures of your –
You get the picture.
Appropriately, Fallon is entirely superfluous to the bit. And Miley delivers every word with a killer red lip and a big helping of crazy eyes to let you know she really means it.
So fellas, take her advice and put away your chimneys tonight, and every night. You’ve seen what she can do with a wrecking ball.