Bleats

Married At First Sight's Experts Are The Show's Biggest Villains And They Need To Change

#Justice4Mick.

There are few universal truths: Shannon Noll was robbed, Tim Tams are more aussie than Vegemite and the “experts” on Married At First Sight are just the absolute worst.

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID.

 

And honestly, they’re ruining the institution of “fake tv marriage”, which I for one will not stand for!

Let’s break it down. The “experts” John, Mel and Trisha are there to pretty much mediate any concerns or problems of the contestants, problem is…they don’t. Muck like Rainier Wolfcastle’s goggles: “They do nothing!”.

We feel the acid of reality TV.

Seriously, what is their actual job? They claim that the only footage they see is the dinner party and commitment ceremony but that’s bullshit and proves that they suck at the job.

But if it is true then they have less of an insight into the relationships than the audience do but look it makes sense, they went off at Bronson for using the forbidden word on Ines but hadn’t seen the abuse he endured because it wasn’t right goddamn in front of them.

We’re better than they are.

And if they do in fact see what happens then they’re leaving people in volatile situations in the name of ratings and this is in a season where at least 5 different people have had an emotional crisis, crying on TV and they did nothing?!

And they’re supposed to be the “happy” couple.

They’re worse than any other villains we see because we know that villains are written to be that way but to see people/”experts” who are there to take care of others, leave people in bad relationships (#Justice4Mick) for the sake of entertainment?

It’s not on.

Robert Pattinson Says He Smells Like A Crayon And I Need To Know Which Colour

Another wild yarn from R-Patz.

Robert Pattinson has gained quite a reputation for spinning wild yarns during interviews, but his most recent comments on his body odour have me truly shaken.

In a recent interview with Allure the star of the upcoming The Batman film said, “Lots of people tell me I smell like a crayon.”

The interviewer – understandably bewildered by this statement – then asked, “Like you’re made of wax?”

To which R-Patz responded, “Yes! Like I’m embalmed.”

I have so many questions. What colour crayon does Pattinson smell like? What brand? Is he using lots of crayons? And most importantly, who are these multiple people who are telling him he smells like crayon!? Is that an insult, or a compliment?

It’s not the first time Robert Pattinson’s scent has come up in conversation. Back in 2009, E! News reported that an unidentified source who worked “very closely” with the actor on New Moon said “he stinks.”

“I mean, it’s awful,” the source said. “He never showers, and it drives people on the set crazy.”

“He completely reeks,” an unidentified crew member added. Yikes.

It’s been over a decade since then, so we can only hope Robert Pattinson has swapped his lack of showering for an obsession with crayons. 

Speaking of celebrity scents, celebrity tattoo artist Lauren Winzer dishes on what Post Malone smells like on It’s Been A Big Day For…below:

During his interview with Allure, Pattinson was also asked about being recently named the “most handsome man” in the world according to science.

“It’s weird,” he said. “I never was really up for the good-looking-guy roles, because I’ve always been quite awkward when meeting people.”

“My Harry Potter role was a good-looking guy, and it was a shock that it was quite easy to get. And then in Twilight, [Edward is] beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. When I turned up for the auditions, I had done a job where I’d dyed my hair black, because I had an inch and a half of roots, and I had waxed my body. And then I had a few months where I’d been drinking beer all day, so I had this hairless, chubby body. I looked like a baby with a wig on.”

Hairless, chubby, waxed or smelling like a crayon – we’ll take Robert Pattinson any which way.

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