Bleats

It Looks Like Khloe Kardashian Has Officially Ended This Whole Jordyn Woods Drama (Until Next Season)

Always spicy.

Unless you have been living under a rock with no wifi, it’s safe to assume we are all at least somewhat across the most recent Kardashian scandal. It’s been literally impossible to avoid if you were even internet adjacent over the last two weeks, but it seems like it could maybe, potentially, hopefully, possibly be…over?

Between Jordyn Woods’ interview, and Khloe Kardashian’s ‘you’re lying’ tweets, the narrative swung hard against Khloe for blaming 21-year-old Woods instead of laying the responsibility on her cheating husband Tristan Thompson.

But now it looks like weapons have been laid down, Khloe has yielded to the fact that yes, this was Tristan’s fault, and this case is now ‘closed’.

Case ‘closed’, of course, until we see it all unfold in real time in the next season of Keeping up with the Kardashians. The Jordyn Woods cheating scandal is such a horrible blow to Khloe K that it’s hard to believe that it’s not genuine. But let’s not forget that the Kardashians have made themselves famous on the back of these kinds of self-sacrificial scandals since the beginning of (their) time.

Whether it’s all real, partially real, or all fake, it fits suspiciously well into the show’s cyclical need for ~drama~. Previous seasons have been boosted by the well-timed news of Kylie’s pregnancy, Khloe and Tristan’s first cheating scandal, the list goes on. We do not kid ourselves to think that the Kardashian matriarch Kris Jenner is above juicing the family woes for all the ratings and fame they can get.

So while Khloe K’s s**t situation may be real, and the drama might seem to have come to a neat end, the whole thing is yet another well-timed scandal in a long line of scandals, acting like a trailer for the next season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. A very good trailer though, we’ll give them that.

Please Enjoy These IRL Betrayal Stories That Make This Whole Khloe Kardashian Scandal Look Chill

If this scandal has proved anything, it's that no one can resist the allure of the DRAMA.

This week the Kardashian followers and non-believers alike have been foaming at the mouth for the gossip on the familial cheating scandal.

As the story goes, Khloe K’s husband and the father of her child, Tristan Thompson, hooked up with her sister Kylie Jenner’s BFF and honourary Kardashian Klan member, Jordan Woods.

From all the cryptic signs and posts coming out of the various family members, the scandal is all but confirmed and it looks like Jordan is getting the boot from the house, from the Kylie Lip Kit world and from the fandom’s hearts.

It’s red hot and spicy drama, and we’re clearly thirsting for it. Why else would our entire nation be hooked on the wild ride that is MAFS

But the Kardashians are not the only people living a real life soap opera, they’re just the people we hear about. The wonderful world of the internet allows us to indulge in the explosive cheating stories of the general public, and feed our need for scandal.

So please enjoy these IRL stories of betrayal that make Khloe Kardashian’s current situation seem relatively chill.

#1. Khloe’s Situation x 1000

Sure Khloe’s man cheated with her sister’s BFF, but things could be worse.

15 years. Her best friend. The same damn tent. That’s just not right.

#2. At Least She Has All Her Organs

In times of struggle, we must be grateful for what we do have. In Khloe’s case, she at least held onto her kidneys, and Tristan only took away her trust, time, and the promise to be faithful in marriage and parenthood. Lucky Khloe!

#3. This Is A Lot

The second story here is a ride much wilder than the one the Kardashians are currently on. From the pregnancy to the abortion to the money to the car wreck to the CAMPING TRIP.

I repeat, this is a lot.

#4. This Is How You Really Hurt Someone

After discovering that this guy is a dirty little cheater, his ex proceeded to unblock him every week just to send Game of Thrones spoilers before he could watch it.

Straight for the jugular.

#5. This Escalated Quickly

This is some expert-level cheating if this guy managed to sustain three three girlfriends, one wife, with one kid on the way, AND managed to convince girlfriend #1 that she didn’t witness the cheating.

There’s a special place in hell for you mate.

#6. I Wish This Had Happened Within The Kardashian Fam

In a now-deleted Reddit post, one user seeks advice after discovering that his partner is a ‘furry’, i.e. part of the fandom for furry cartoon creatures with human personalities, and yes, it’s a sex thing.

Can you imagine if this happened to one of the Kardashian’s partners? That would make great TV @KrisJenner.

You can read the IRL furry scandal below.

“Me [22M] with my girlfriend [21F] of 7 months, found out she’s a “furry” and in the fandom, got angry when I found out.”

“I was using my girlfriend’s laptop to research stuff, while she was out of the room. Nothing shady, no history diving or anything. It was a situation where the auto-fill came in and revealed that my girlfriend is a furry.”

“There were links to furry social networks, the furry subreddit, furry porn and artwork. I admit I did type in ‘furr’ just to see if that was the case. Lots and lots of links popped up in the search bar. I backspaced and didn’t know what to think, so I left it for a few hours.”

“When it was quiet and we were watching a movie, I asked her if she was a furry. She looked at me sideways with a frown and asked why. I felt bad, but I told her the truth and what I had found. She immediately got up, grabbed her stuff and left. I tried to stop her but she would not say a word to me. This was yesterday evening, still no communication.”

“I know what furries are, and I admit that I have been in situations where people are like, ‘Haha, fucking furries,’ and I have laughed. I don’t know how long she’s been a furry or why she didn’t tell me ever. What do I do?” 

#7. This Is Brutal But Smart

I feel like the Kardashians would actually have a certain level of respect for this cheater, who requested that all FOUR of her boyfriends buy her the same purse for her birthday, sold three for money, and none of the boys had any idea the kind of business strategy they were a part of.

Kris Jenner would be proud.

So once there’s a lull in the Khloe Kardashian betrayal story palooza, just remember that there’s plenty of scandals out there in the world, waiting to fill the drama-shaped hole in your life.

Kris Jenner Stealing Kendall’s Victoria's Secret Runway Spotlight Is Ruthlessly Strategic

The woman knows how to make headlines.

Kris Jenner is hailed as somewhat of a marketing genius, for conquering the unconquerable: creating a brand out of nothing. Literally, the Kardashians are famous for being famous, it makes no sense, and Kris Jenner is the mastermind behind their success.

So, while Kris is making headlines for playing the ‘dorky mom’ character at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, let’s be honest, Kris Jenner knows exactly what she is doing.

Her daughter Kendall Jenner is strutting down the catwalk, and what does Kris do? She makes a damn scene. She knows filming and waving at her daughter will make good content and she is not wrong. She’s a genius.

Obviously this carefully constructed scene is throwing back to her starring role in Ariana Grande’s ‘thank u, next’ video. Everyone was excited to see Kris Jenner fulfilling her destiny playing Regina George’s mum, but no one is as excited as Kris Jenner herself.

And the internet reacted exactly how I’m sure Kris wanted us too! She knows what she’s doing!

So let’s just have a moment of appreciation for Kris Jenner’s ruthless marketing of herself, and her entire family. Just because it’s Kendall’s gig, doesn’t mean Kris isn’t going to turn it into her moment. You’re doing amazing sweetie.

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