Bleats

Forget About Turning James Bond Into A Female 007, Give The Badass Bond Girls Their Own Movies

Just imagine it: Halfway through the movie, this suave guy in a tux turns up, they have a great night, and then she ends up saving the world.

Bond. James Bond.

Whenever those three iconic words are uttered onscreen, everyone will get a mental image of Daniel Craig, Sean Connery, or my personal favourite Pierce Brosnan, in a tuxedo and looking like the textbook definition of suave.

It is the most memorable introduction of a fictional character in cinema history, but don’t expect that phrase to be uttered anytime soon by a woman according to long time Bond executive producer Barbara Broccoli.

In an interview with The Guardian, Broccoli dismissed any Doctor Who-esque gender switch for 007, saying that the character is and will forever be male.

Bond is male. He’s a male character. He was written as a male and I think he’ll probably stay as a male.

Now before you get out your pitchforks, Broccoli does have her reasons behind this decision.

She points out that Bond is a defiantly male character created in the 50s and is imbued with traits from that era. Couple that with fans still constantly comparing the latest movies with the early Sean Connery releases back in the 1960s, it is simply impossible to recreate Bond as a feminist character because it just won’t work.

She has a point. Bond is strictly a male fantasy character and masculinity is his core, and casting a woman in the role diminishes that point. And besides, the character is just ridiculous so why bother even tinkering with it.

Agreed.

Broccoli’s reasoning was followed up by her suggestion to create more original female characters instead.

We don’t have to turn male characters into women. Let’s just create more female characters and make the story fit those female characters.

It certainly is a good idea and Atomic Blonde is a good example of how to pull off a kickass female spy movie. However, I have a better idea that will give us all the badass female spy tropes we want in a movie while still remaining tangentially tied to Bond: give Bond girls their own movies.

Think about it, nearly all the Bond girls are forced to play second fiddle to the super spy in each of the 007 movies, leaving well-developed characters like Vesper Lynd and Pussy Galore to make do with what limited screen time they’re given.

It would be amazing to watch the stories of every Bond girl be given the attention they deserve before 007 even enters the picture. Hell, I’ll even settle for a Bond movie from the woman’s perspective. Just imagine it: Halfway through the movie, this suave guy in a tux turns up, they have a great night, and then she ends up saving the world.

If they ever make a movie about Michelle Yeoh’s character Wai Lin from Tomorrow Never Dies, I would be a very happy camper.

Danny Boyle Drops Out Of Directing The Next James Bond Movie So Here Are A Bunch Of Other Great Directors That Are Better Suited To Make My Dream 007 Film

Can you imagine how good a Christopher Nolan or Kathryn Bigelow-directed James Bond movie would be?

Just a few months ago, it seemed like the pieces were in place for a great James Bond movie. Daniel Craig was back onboard (after being given a massive paycheck), the writers of Skyfall were back, and the brilliant Danny Boyle was hired as the director because if there was anyone who could wipe the taste of Spectre out of our mouths it is the bloke who made Trainspotting.

But like most well-laid plans in the 007 universe (on and off the screen), it has all come unraveled because Boyle is officially out as director of the next Bond film due to “creative differences”.

It’s a damn shame because Boyle is a great director who is capable of combining great character work (Steve Jobs) with the dramatic tension (127 Hours), action (Trance), and spectacle (Slumdog Millionaire) expected from a Bond movie. Hell, he technically already directed a Bond film when he filmed that little clip of 007 meeting the Queen during the 2012 London Olympics.

Still, his exit paves the way for a new name to step into the director’s chair and that means I get to play one of my favourite movie-related games: which great director should make my dream James Bond movie?

Don’t put too much stock into these because Hollywood does whatever it wants regardless of what I want, but one can still dream.

 

Christopher Nolan

My number one choice because the man clearly knows his way around a movie set and has had previous experience working on a big franchise. He also has some one-of-a-kind ability to combine genuine human drama with some of cinema’s greatest action spectacles, which is perfect for a modern day Bond.

He’ll have to make do without the loud BRAAAM sound from Inception though because that just gets annoying.

Chances of directing Bond: Not the director we deserve but the one we need

His name is always brought up every time a new Bond movie is announced, not to mention he has previously stated that he would be interested in taking the job but only if he had something new to bring to the franchise. That’s not a no so I’m calling it a toss-up.

Kathryn Bigelow

The last few Bond movies have placed an emphasis on gritty realism, and who better to ground the franchise into the geopolitical realities of the present than Bigelow?

She has an eye for pulse-pumping action scenes, a way of making well-written characters really pop onscreen, and would offer up an interesting take on the outdated sexual politics in the franchise.

Chances of directing Bond: Not good, only because Bond seems a bit too corny for her

If we look at Bigelow’s last four or so films, they’ve all been based around some historical event. And seeing as how she already killed off Osama Bin Laden in one of her movies, no fictional Bond baddie can ever live up to nailing the most wanted man alive.

Edgar Wright

Okay, okay, hear me out.

Baby Driver shows that Wright can definitely direct the hell out of car chase scenes while The World’s End demonstrates he’s pretty damn good at fight scenes as well. Combine that with the goofy yet grounded tone of all his movies, it would be a welcome relief to the grittiness that has become prevalent in the last few Bond films.

Chances of directing Bond: Slim with a bit of red and Cornetto on his shirt

Mainly because he’ll probably try to recast James Bond with Simon Pegg or one of his other mates. Plus, he didn’t exactly play well with Marvel so I can’t imagine this panning out too nicely with the Bond producers.

Patty Jenkins

Wonder Woman is evidence enough that Jenkins is more than capable of infusing action, great characters, strong performances, and just enough heart into one eclectic mix.

Given how she managed to overcome the difficult hurdle of bringing a character as fantastical as Wonder Woman to the big screen, imagine what she can do with a character that’s already well established and is probably due for a more modern update.

Chances of directing Bond: Outlook appears positive though unlikely

When you’ve made one – soon to be two – movies about a character as badass as Wonder Woman, I imagine James Bond wouldn’t be anywhere near as interesting anymore. And besides, the upcoming Wonder Woman 1984 looks like the retro female Bond movie I’ve always wanted anyway.

Alfonso Cuaron

Cuaron hasn’t made too many movies over the course of his career, but the ones he has made are damn good and cover a range of different genres.

Seeing as how he’s tackled a coming-of-age drama, Harry Potter, a post-apocalyptic tale, and outer space, maybe it’s time for the man to wet his whistle with a suave British spy.

Chances of them directing Bond: About five times the gravity of Earth (about 50%) 

Given how long Cuaron takes between films, we this probably won’t happen until about 2035 and we’re another 2 Bonds actors down.

That being said, you can be sure that whatever Bond movie he makes, it will look gorgeous, feature several long takes, and have a George Clooney hallucination sequence.

Michelle MacLaren

MacLaren is a long-time veteran of TV but hasn’t actually directed a full-length film interestingly enough.

That being said, she’s done some great stuff on TV, such as Game of Thrones and a heap of Breaking Bad. She may not have much experience with troubled British spies, but I’m sure she can make up that gap with her knowledge of dragons, Khaleesis, and meth dealers.

Chances of them directing Bond: Nowhere near the purity of Walter White’s 99.1% meth

The lack of big budget film experience will probably hurt her chances, but that’s fine with me because that means she can use her talents for more great TV.

Denis Villeneuve

One of the best directors working today and someone who seems to have cinema in his blood. From the score and cinematography to the characters and even the props, every aspect of Villeneuve’s films is just pure art.

Just imagine if he did a James Bond movie in the style of Blade Runner 2049? I don’t think witnessing the birth of my firstborn would give me as much joy.

Chances of them directing Bond: Dead on Arrival (for now)

Hot damn, this would be the dream but it ain’t happening any time soon because he revealed that he actually turned down the Bond gig to make his “dream movie”.

You know what, I’d rather watch that first so please make your dream movie first and then come back to Bond, Denis.

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