Minimalist Instagram is here to stay, apparently, because they’re officially dumping the ‘following’ tab – AKA the one-stop shop for Insta-stalkers everywhere.
A quick reminder that it’s only been a few months since Instagram’s last Earth-shattering update, and influencers are still reeling from the impact of having their likes hidden. Where are those poor, victimised internet celebs supposed to get their clout now?
But this latest removal isn’t going to protect our health or rescue us from the plague that is the fake-like economy. Instead, it’s going to be a burden to our favourite social media pastime – keeping tabs on our exes and frenemies.
Sure, you can get your Instagram stalking fix by watching that story that your old vacation fling is posting from Mykonos, or rolling your eyes at every stupid Reddit screenshot that annoying guy from high school posts, but nothing compares to the joy of the Following tab.
It’s from this lonely tab, so set apart from the rest of the action by the Instagram UI, that we can experience all of our friends’ and family’s activity. From a follow, to a comment, to a like of a comment, it’s like the all-seeing eye of the platform. You could easily use it to plot an ex-boyfriend’s movements across the internet, if you had enough time to waste.
There are a hell of a lot of Instagram users who have no clue it even exists, which is one of the reasons that the company is getting rid of it. The other, unspoken reason is to reduce the likelihood of its users being exposed for their more, *cough*, indulgent moments.
It’s really a travesty that we won’t be able to catch the people we hate most commenting heart eyes emojis on celebrity thirst traps, or politicians and other public figures straight up liking porn. At least Twitter can still satisfy that need.
There are some upsides here, because not all Instagram stalking is particularly friendly. Harmless goofing can descend into actual, criminal cyberstalking if left unchecked, and if it helps keep victims of domestic violence and abuse even the littlest bit safer, it’s definitely worth sacrificing a convenient way to have a laugh with friends. Besides, it’s probably not healthy to be obsessing over someone’s social media activity that much, even if you bear them no ill will.
Unless we all vow to never update our apps again, it looks like we’re all going to have to get a lot more creative about the way we source our goss. Back to the cork board with you!