Social media influencers are the absolute worst. How could you not be irritated at people who do things like asking for free ice cream because they’re cheap or begging for brands to sponsor you for your meticulously planned “spontaneous” marriage proposal?
But as unbearable as most are, the epic helping of trolling served up by Belle Delphine to her horny viewers deserves our respect.
For those who are unaware, Belle is a popular British cosplayer whose schtick is basically to dress up in NSFW outfits and get paid by people who want photos of her wearing said NSFW outfits.
I had a look through her Instagram (for research purposes for this story) and discovered two things: she has over 3 million followers and this is literally the only photo she’s posted where she’s not in costume or half-naked.
Unsurprisingly, a popular influencer such as Belle has a fair share of creepy horny dudes – and let’s be honest, it’s almost always dudes – trawling her profile. So to give her trolls their just desserts, Belle decided flip their game back on them.
In June, Belle posed a risque Instagram photo and promised to make a Pornhub account if her pic got 1 million likes. Like flies to garbage, horny folks indundated her with nearly 2 million likes in no time and Belle honoured her promise. However, the content fans got wasn’t what they were expecting.
Her first video is titled “Belle Delphine strokes two BIG cocks” and that’s exactly what she does. And by cocks, she means two actual chickens and boy does she pet them well. In another video titled “PEWDIEPIE goes all the way INSIDE Belle Delphine”, she literally eats a picture of Pewdiepie.
You get the general idea.
In fact, all her videos has a bait and switch pun yet people still got fooled every time. The disappointed responses from horny dudes in the comments section are far more entertaining than Belle’s actual videos, which have all received hundreds of thousands of views each.
But hey, people are clicking which means her punny, dickbaity video titles are perfectly on point.
As brilliant as Belle’s Pornhub troll was, she managed to one up herself by adding a new product to her online store for creepy fans to waste their money on.
Going for a low, low price of $53ish Aussie dollars, this new merch item is called “GamerGirl Bath Water” and it’s literally what it says on the label: the left over dregs of what Belle uses to wash herself in the bath.
Despite this whole thing being a gag – complete with a warning that reads “This water is not for drinking and should only be used for sentimental purposes.” – it seems like there are guys desperate enough to fall for it because the product is listed as sold out on Belle’s website.
There are more thirsty people out there than I thought.
It’s definitely clear that Belle is more than aware that she’ll get sexualised for what she does so she might as well take the piss out of it while earning some dosh at the same time.
At the end of the day, it’s a win-win scenario for everyone: horny folks get some used bath water to quench their thirst, Belle gets to make money off crappy dudes, and we all get some big laughs over how absurd this whole scenario is.