Bleats

Have A Squiz At This Guy’s $13,000 ‘First Home’ And If You Don’t Laugh, You’ll Cry

Great for pets.

I think we’ve come to terms with the idea that home-owning could be slightly out of reach because, avocado toast- or whatever else the baby boomers want to tease us with, but I don’t think we were totally prepared for what would happen if one of our own actually tried to buy a house.

White picket fence, three bed, two bath, double garage, open plan, air con, in-ground pool, veggie patch – the works. The DREAM (for some people).

As all good stories begin, a south-Florida man was having just a regular day. He had saved his coin, mustered up the courage and decided to purchase his first home.

In an online auction, he was sat there, placing bids on what he believed to be a lovely villa, in a duplex. He won it. He was stoked. Only $13,000? An absolute bloody steal.

It wasn’t until after winning the auction that he realised he hadn’t bought a villa, but the strip of GRASS that separated the duplex.

The value of the strip of grass was $50.

For $13,000 you could buy 1,300 boujee avo toasts in the inner west.

Why try? Let’s just be who we are and leave the house-buying to the ones that know what they’re doing. It’s not us.

Robert Pattinson Says He Smells Like A Crayon And I Need To Know Which Colour

Another wild yarn from R-Patz.

Robert Pattinson has gained quite a reputation for spinning wild yarns during interviews, but his most recent comments on his body odour have me truly shaken.

In a recent interview with Allure the star of the upcoming The Batman film said, “Lots of people tell me I smell like a crayon.”

The interviewer – understandably bewildered by this statement – then asked, “Like you’re made of wax?”

To which R-Patz responded, “Yes! Like I’m embalmed.”

I have so many questions. What colour crayon does Pattinson smell like? What brand? Is he using lots of crayons? And most importantly, who are these multiple people who are telling him he smells like crayon!? Is that an insult, or a compliment?

It’s not the first time Robert Pattinson’s scent has come up in conversation. Back in 2009, E! News reported that an unidentified source who worked “very closely” with the actor on New Moon said “he stinks.”

“I mean, it’s awful,” the source said. “He never showers, and it drives people on the set crazy.”

“He completely reeks,” an unidentified crew member added. Yikes.

It’s been over a decade since then, so we can only hope Robert Pattinson has swapped his lack of showering for an obsession with crayons. 

Speaking of celebrity scents, celebrity tattoo artist Lauren Winzer dishes on what Post Malone smells like on It’s Been A Big Day For…below:

During his interview with Allure, Pattinson was also asked about being recently named the “most handsome man” in the world according to science.

“It’s weird,” he said. “I never was really up for the good-looking-guy roles, because I’ve always been quite awkward when meeting people.”

“My Harry Potter role was a good-looking guy, and it was a shock that it was quite easy to get. And then in Twilight, [Edward is] beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. When I turned up for the auditions, I had done a job where I’d dyed my hair black, because I had an inch and a half of roots, and I had waxed my body. And then I had a few months where I’d been drinking beer all day, so I had this hairless, chubby body. I looked like a baby with a wig on.”

Hairless, chubby, waxed or smelling like a crayon – we’ll take Robert Pattinson any which way.

Always be in the loop with our snackable podcast breaking the biggest story of the day. Subscribe to It’s Been A Big Day For… on your favourite podcast app.

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