JK Rowling, the incredibly wealthy creator of Harry Potter, just cannot shut up about what’s going on in her characters’ pants.
The latest update may not be about wizards pooping themselves, but it’s still a whole lot.
On a DVD extra for Fantastic Beasts 2: The Crimes Of Grindelwald, she seems to confirm that Albus Dumbledore and his childhood friend/crush/future nemesis Gellert Grindelwald totally boned. Maybe.
“Their relationship was incredibly intense,” says Rowling in the feature, as reported by the Radio Times.
“It was passionate, and it was a love relationship.”
“I’m less interested in the sexual side – though I believe there is a sexual dimension to this relationship – than I am in the sense of the emotions they felt for each other, which ultimately is the most fascinating thing about all human relationships.”
So I think… what she’s saying… is that Dumbledore and Grindelwald were in love and also wanted to bone each other and probably actually did bone.
me, minding my own business:
jk rowling: DUMBLEDORE AND GRINDELWALD FUCKED EVERY DAY THEY WERE CONSTANTLY BANGING
— 巫 cairo (@MlDNIGHTER) March 15, 2019
The weirdest thing, actually, is not that Rowling can’t stop revising and adding backstory to these characters, often to add some kind of “representation” that’s not there in the original text or answer a question nobody asked.
It’s that she says she “believe[s]” there was a “sexual dimension” to the relationship.
Lady, you are more than happy to tell the world everything about everyone in this universe you created. This wizard’s Jewish! This wizard’s gay! Hermione’s not necessarily white!
That’s all well and good, and it’s definitely better than if she’d said “No, sorry, there are absolutely zero queer people or Jews in the wizarding world and Hermione is 100% Caucasian! It’s not important why!”
But she talks as though these fictional same-sex-attracted wizards have some kind of secret inner life she’s not privy to, and she’s too polite and/or British to ask these people she made up in her heads whether they ever actually got busy or were actually just super horny.
We all know what she means, even if she’s stopping short of actually saying “Yes, the two most powerful wizards of the mid-20th century totally had major boners for each other.”
You sit down on a couch in JK Rowling’s house and she’s like, “Careful, Dumbledore got railed there.”
— Louis Virtel (@louisvirtel) March 17, 2019
JK Rowling pretty much admits that 2 gay men broke up and it caused a civil war in the wizarding world and BITCH I LIVE FOR THE DRAMA!!
— Solomon Georgio (@solomongeorgio) March 17, 2019
Anyway, enjoy thinking a lot about young Dumbledore having an “intense” sex life!