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It’s been a big day for… Listening to...

Spare A Thought, If You Will, For Gwyneth Paltrow's Poor Vagina

Goop lord.

It’s 2019, which means social media reigns supreme, there’s a lot of unsolicited advice floating around, and we are all well aware of Gwyneth Paltrow’s relationship with her vagina. 

Guilty! Credit: Giphy

Paltrow’s website-turned-modern lifestyle brand-turned-natural health company Goop has answered tricky questions like “Does Shock Wave Therapy Work For Erectile Dysfunction?” but it’s also given us detailed insight into the actresses’ health and beauty regimes, including her vagina-related routines.

In 2015, Paltrow introduced the world to ‘vaginal steaming,’ which involves sitting on a “mini-throne,” where a “combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus.” Paltrow explained the procedure wasn’t just “a steam douche,” but an “energetic release” which “balances female hormone levels.” 

Okay then. Credit: Giphy

Gynecologists slammed the idea, explaining that there’s no scientific evidence it works, and it could even cause burns or bacterial infections. Ob-gyn Dr. Jen Gunter also pointed out to Business Insider that there’s absolutely no way the steam would reach your uterus from your vagina “unless you are using an attachment with some kind of pressure and MOST DEFINITELY NEVER EVER DO THAT.”

It’s not the first time Paltrow has shocked us with her strange vag-tips, either. In 2017, the fan of ‘conscious uncoupling’ wrote about jade eggs, and why popping an overpriced rose quartz jade stone egg into your lady parts would “spiritually detox” you.

Do we? Credit: Giphy

Again, Paltrow faced major backlash, with multiple doctors pointing out that the eggs could potentially lead to infection or more serious health issues. Goop even faced a lawsuit for spruiking the jade eggs (amongst other products) and making medical claims that aren’t backed by science. Last year, Paltrow’s company settled the lawsuit for a cool USD $145K.

How many jade eggs will $145K buy you?
Credit: Giphy

There’s a lot to unpack here. First and foremost, giving readers dodgy health advice that can’t be backed up by doctors or science is not cool. Secondly, how is Paltrow’s very own vagina coping? If she tries all of these products and fads like she claims she does, I’m seriously concerned for her nether regions.

Sounds like seeking medical advice for your vagina-related issues, and not Gwyneth Paltrow’s latest obsession is the right way to go.