When it comes to working out, Grimes isn’t the kind of gal who does a couple of half-assed squats and calls it a day.
In a recent interview with adidas, the singer detailed her extensive ‘training regimen’ and please, sit back, relax and enjoy the wild ride you’re about to take.
To begin, Grimes explains “I maximise the function of my mitochondria” with a bunch of different supplements, most of which we’ve never heard of. Next, Grimes says “I spend 2-4 hours in my deprivation tank,” which apparently allows her to “astro-glide” to other dimensions – past, present and future. TBH, this bit sounds quite fun.
As if that wasn’t enough to put a sweat on your brow, Grimes follows up with a 1-2 hour afternoon sword fighting sesh with her trainer, James Lew. “We go over the fundamentals that work the obliques, core stabilizes, and triceps as well as a few tricks.” She “winds down” afterwards with a 30-45 minute inclined hike and a 45 minute stretch. Where does the day go!?
Grimes gets real technical in the next stage of her workout, talking about “neuroplastic goals” and what sounds like an extremely aggressive Infrared Sauna. Then, just when you thought your mind was well and truly boggled, Grimes drops the wildest parts of her regimen – a screaming session and “experimental surgery” on her eyeballs.
“Hana then comes over and we do a screaming session for 20-25 minutes while I slow boil the honey tea that maximises vocal proficiency,” she writes. “I have also eliminated all blue light from my vision through an experimental surgery that removes the top film of my eyeball and replaces it with an orange ultra-flex polymer that my friend and I made in the lab this past winter as a means to cure seasonal depression.”
I’ll give you a moment for your spine to shiver.
To end her, like, totally casual daily workout, Grimes adds, “I go to bed with a humidifier on.”
Is this one huge stitch up? Or is Grimes’ bizarre daily routine the real deal? We’re looking at you for answers, Elon.
If you, or anyone you know is struggling with mental health issues and depression, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 for support.