Bleats

Watching Sex Scenes With Your Parents Just Got Worse Thanks To Maisie Williams

Never watching Game Of Thrones with my family ever again.

POTENTIAL SPOILERS AHEAD FOR GAME OF THRONES SEASON 8 EPISODE 2, BUT YOU’LL SHOULD BE UP TO DATE BY NOW ANYWAY.

In case you haven’t heard, Arya Stark had sex.

The woman formerly known as the “girl with no name” got down and dirty with the hammer-wielding hunk, Gendry, after an episode of pent-up sexual tension and boy did it spark off quite the reaction for everyone who tuned in for what was expected to be their usual dose of dragons, winter, and incest.

The internet’s reaction summed up.

Arya losing her virginity to Robert Baratheon’s bastard is a big deal beyond the hanky-panky of it all because not only did it show the growth of a character who is proactively taking control of her sexual narrative, it also represents what might be a final moment of human connection before everything goes to hell in Westeros.

But look, y’all came here for the awkward sex scene part so that’s what you’ll get.

Anyway, the reactions to Maisie Williams doing her first ever sex scene were just pure gold, particularly the delightful one shared by her BFF, Sophie Turner after Maisie’s big moment aired.

The subsequent memes were all brilliant but all that has been taken down a notch thanks to this tweet from Maisie, which not only functions as a great joke but also something that’ll stop you in your tracks and go, “oof, yeah I feel ya.”

Yeah, I feel ya, Maisie.

Watching sex scenes with your family is awkward enough. But having your whole immediate family watch you get freaky on TV alongside millions of other people around the world? Well that’s just on another level of cringe.

But kudos to Maisie to taking all this like an absolute champ because filming your first ever sex scene is no walk in the park and she’s handled all the attention brilliantly.

And besides, we need this moment of levity before the Night King and his army of the dead rain hell upon everyone in Winterfell.

Politicians, Just Stop Using Pop-Culture In Your Ads And Agendas, You’re Ruining It For Us

It's especially bad when the politicians (and their social media managers) clearly have no clue what they're referencing.

Let’s face it, we all slip in pop-culture references into a conversation whenever possible. It provides a common talking point with other people, it’s a good icebreaker with strangers, and it’s just fun seeing everyone join in on the banter whenever a Game of Thrones quote or an Ariana Grande lyric is dropped.

However, we’ve hit a crucial juncture in this whole pop-culture referencing thing because politicians are starting to do it and hoo boy has it become a big problem, especially in the last few weeks.

Look, we get that you’re trying to give off the impression that you’re “hip” and “cool” because you’re all over what the youngins are into these days, but the result is just sad and to put it frankly, politicians, you’re ruining everything for us. Let’s just look at some egregious examples that have come up recently, starting with the Liberal party’s latest effort.

In case you haven’t heard, the last season of Game of Thrones is currently airing and the Liberals decided to roast Labor and Bill Shorten while fluffing themselves up by using a reference to the hit show. Unfortunately, their social media team clearly hasn’t watched the show at all because they decided to go with the Lannister house words, “A Lannister always pays his debts.”

Never mind that the ad was just bad, but the Liberals clearly didn’t realise that they’re essentially calling themselves the baddies while also suggesting that the whole party is really into incest. That would explain a lot, actually.

It’s not just the Liberal party who deserves a roasting for using pop-culture references incorrectly or in a tasteless manner.

When it was announced that Christopher Pyne would be retiring from politics, the WA division of Labor decided to commemorate this by releasing a parody music video of Pyne’s head superimposed over a clip of Freddie Mercury singing “Another One Bites The Dust.” Just to really rub it in, they also superimposed Scott Morrison and Peter Dutton’s head over the other Queen members.

Someone in the Labor party clearly got some inspiration after watching Bohemian Rhapsody but this is enough to make even the most devoted Queen fan renounce the band. And that’s not even mentioning that the video didn’t go down well with a heap of people since the casually homophobic clip was posted on the same day as Sydney’s Mardi Gras, forcing WA Labor to sheepishly delete it from their social media. Except for their FB page, which we assume someone on the team forgot to do.

Morrison is no innocent party in this irritating exploitation of pop-culture references either. There was his awful “Back In Black” budget campaign ad, which was as cringey as it was unoriginal since it directly ripped off former New Zealand PM John  Key’s ad from about five years ago.

And of course, there was Morrison dropping that awful Borat impression on the floor of parliament in an attempt to roast Labor’s carbon credit trading scheme. Never mind Morrison’s piss-poor effort at channelling Borat, but dropping an outdated Borat reference in 2019 is like going into an Apple store and asking where the gramophone section is – you’re going to get weird looks from everyone.

And of course, how can we forget Donald Trump‘s recent dabbles with Game of Thrones references?

Despite the absolute fustercluck that’s erupted over the last couple of weeks after the dropping of several investigative bombshells into basically every illegal thing he’s done, Combover Caligula thinks he still has the upper hand and decided to take an undeserved victory lap by tweeting out a Game of Thrones inspired “Game Over” photo.

Needless to say that this copped a crapload of ridicule, which isn’t new for Trump these days. HBO wasn’t too happy about this either and sent out a sternly-worded tweet telling Trump to stop referencing GoT in his tweets.

You’re better off taking away Trump’s sippy cup and sending him to the time out corner if you want him to stop tweeting Thrones stuff, HBO.

All those aforementioned examples of pop-culture referencing from politicians happened all within the last month alone, which doesn’t bode well for the months to come when the federal election and the end of Game of Thrones arrives.

So let’s nip this in the bud before it becomes more of a problem than it already is. Politicians, please stop using pop-culture references in your ads, agendas, and basically everything you do. You are all horribly bad at that sort of thing, it’s incredibly annoying, and you’re ruining everything for us. We already have to put up with you all every day so please leave the one good thing we have to look forward to at the end of each day alone.

Today I Learned: The Original Pitch For Game Of Thrones Had Less Death But Way More Stark Incest

The original idea was so different (and not all in a good way) it makes the long wait for the remaining two books much more tolerable.

POTENTIAL SPOILERS ahead since this is Game of Thrones we’re talking about.

Game of Thrones may be ending in a few weeks time but the story remains ongoing in the A Song Of Ice And Fire novel series, which George R. R. Martin has still yet to finish writing. As it is with any long-running work that has spanned across three or so decades, things will have evolved and changed from the original idea to where the story is in the present day.

Martin and A Song Of Ice And Fire is no exception. Back in 2015, a Twitter user with the handle Waterstones (which has since been deleted) shared some photos of a 1993 letter from Martin to his agent pitching his original idea of A Game of Thrones (the first novel, not the show).

And hoo boy is there a lot to unpack so saddle up for a cold ride up north.

While the general major plot arcs and world-building remain roughly the same – the Lannisters and Starks are feuding, Daenerys and the Dothraki are over in Essos, and the White Walkers are invading from the north – it’s the wildly different character arcs that is most interesting, especially in the Stark camp.

The Starks (including Catelyn) make their way to King’s Landing and Ned still gets his head chopped off (sadly), but he manages to get both Arya and Catelyn out first. They pick up a still-crippled Bran from Winterfell before making their way up North to seek refuge with Jon Snow, who remains unchanged as a bastard and the Night Watch’s eventual Commander.

Now here’s where it gets really cooked. Rather than the loving sibling relationship between Jon and Arya that we see in the show and in the books, Martin’s original idea was for the two to fall head over heels in love but the pair doesn’t act on it because of Jon’s Night Watch vow and because, you know, they’re frigging related. At least until the secret of Jon’s parentage is later revealed anyway.

So instead of getting kickass assassin Arya, we originally got love-sick incestuous Arya. Ugh, and you thought Jon and Daenerys hooking up was bad.

Okay, this moment has suddenly has gone from adorable to gross.

Sansa Stark also has a wildly different arc as the original character shows all the early timidness we saw and read but none of the later transformation into a sass-slinging badass. In the original pitch, she initially marries Joffrey, has his son, and sides with the Lannisters over her own family before deeply regretting that decision. Good thing Martin changed this completely as well because we would’ve been robbed one of the series’ best character arcs.

Tyrion Lannister is also considerably different as he was originally more Varys-like than the flawed yet sympathetic character we eventually got. The original pitch had him and Jaime eventually take down Robb Stark (who at least gets to maim Joffrey on the battlefield) before burning Winterfell. Tyrion later removes Joffrey from the throne before Jaime assumes power by murdering everyone and blaming it all on Tyrion.

Due to this betrayal, Tyrion goes AWOL while continually plotting and scheming before swapping sides and allying with the Starks to take down Jaime. As an extra wrench in the works, Martin also originally wanted Tyrion to fall in love with Arya, essentially creating a Jon/Arya/Tyrion love triangle. I wish this were a joke but the truth is far more twisted than any quip I can come up with.

The only appropriate reaction to this love triangle business.

As for Daenerys, her story is pretty similar to the show and what was eventually depicted in the books but her character arc was drastically altered. Rather than fall in love with Khal Drogo, she murders him for killing Viserys before hatching her dragons, getting the Dothraki on her side, and invading Westeros.

All that was supposed to happen in Martin’s original idea for A Game Of Thrones and everything was to be wrapped up neatly in two further books, A Dance Of Dragons and The Winds Of Winter. But as history has shown us, this was far from the case and we’re still patiently waiting for Martin to finish writing this story as we speak.

However, it is certainly interesting to see how much A Song Of Ice And Fire did and didn’t change from its original pitch to what we eventually got. The initial ideas had some of the political wrangling we all know but without most of the nuanced character arcs we all love.

We don’t know what was going through Martin’s head at that time but we’re just glad he eventually opted to put in more deaths while swapping out the Jon/Arya/Tyrion incest love triangle thing for some Jon/Daenerys incest instead because that would’ve been just too much.

Ew, stop it, you’re brother and sister.

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