Bleats

Macaroons And Macarons Are Not The Same Thing And My World Is Completely Changed

I have brain cells, I swear.

This week I came to the small realisation that my entire life has been a lie. 

Why?, you ask. What thing could possibly make me question my entire existence and everything I know to be good and sacred in this world? 

Macaroons, that’s what. 

Gossip Girl didn’t prepare me for this. Source: Giphy

For the last 23 years of my life I have been living under the assumption that the humble macaroon was the same as the macaron (AKA those chewy french biscuits that come in different colours and flavours).  

I thought that macaroon was just the lazy way of saying macaron. You know how it is, the French say something beautiful and we butcher it with our bogan accents

Turns out I was wrong because macaroons and macarons are distinctly different things. 

Maca-rons are the beautiful French melt-in-your-mouth biccies I mentioned. 

Maca-roons are chewy biscuits made of almonds or coconut, often with the gross glace cherry on top. These ones: 

Yum! Source: Getty

The funny thing is, once I was informed of the difference between the two biscuits I had a kind of “ah-ha!” moment. A part of my subconscious knew that the chewy coconut biscuits were called macaroons. But the main, functioning part of my brain had still managed to ignore that nugget of knowledge my whole life and continue to assume that macaroons and macarons were the same. 

Basically, my brain is stupid. 

That, or it’s a conspiracy, because every time I typed ‘macaroon’ into a search engine the colourful French kind kept coming up.

-gif- confused

Me neither, Sharpay. Source: Giphy

I feel it is my responsibility to enlighten you all to this small fact just in case you too are living in ignorant bliss. 

Pay it forward. 

Robert Pattinson Says He Smells Like A Crayon And I Need To Know Which Colour

Another wild yarn from R-Patz.

Robert Pattinson has gained quite a reputation for spinning wild yarns during interviews, but his most recent comments on his body odour have me truly shaken.

In a recent interview with Allure the star of the upcoming The Batman film said, “Lots of people tell me I smell like a crayon.”

The interviewer – understandably bewildered by this statement – then asked, “Like you’re made of wax?”

To which R-Patz responded, “Yes! Like I’m embalmed.”

I have so many questions. What colour crayon does Pattinson smell like? What brand? Is he using lots of crayons? And most importantly, who are these multiple people who are telling him he smells like crayon!? Is that an insult, or a compliment?

It’s not the first time Robert Pattinson’s scent has come up in conversation. Back in 2009, E! News reported that an unidentified source who worked “very closely” with the actor on New Moon said “he stinks.”

“I mean, it’s awful,” the source said. “He never showers, and it drives people on the set crazy.”

“He completely reeks,” an unidentified crew member added. Yikes.

It’s been over a decade since then, so we can only hope Robert Pattinson has swapped his lack of showering for an obsession with crayons. 

Speaking of celebrity scents, celebrity tattoo artist Lauren Winzer dishes on what Post Malone smells like on It’s Been A Big Day For…below:

During his interview with Allure, Pattinson was also asked about being recently named the “most handsome man” in the world according to science.

“It’s weird,” he said. “I never was really up for the good-looking-guy roles, because I’ve always been quite awkward when meeting people.”

“My Harry Potter role was a good-looking guy, and it was a shock that it was quite easy to get. And then in Twilight, [Edward is] beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. When I turned up for the auditions, I had done a job where I’d dyed my hair black, because I had an inch and a half of roots, and I had waxed my body. And then I had a few months where I’d been drinking beer all day, so I had this hairless, chubby body. I looked like a baby with a wig on.”

Hairless, chubby, waxed or smelling like a crayon – we’ll take Robert Pattinson any which way.

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