Bleats

Macaroons And Macarons Are Not The Same Thing And My World Is Completely Changed

I have brain cells, I swear.

This week I came to the small realisation that my entire life has been a lie. 

Why?, you ask. What thing could possibly make me question my entire existence and everything I know to be good and sacred in this world? 

Macaroons, that’s what. 

Gossip Girl didn’t prepare me for this. Source: Giphy

For the last 23 years of my life I have been living under the assumption that the humble macaroon was the same as the macaron (AKA those chewy french biscuits that come in different colours and flavours).  

I thought that macaroon was just the lazy way of saying macaron. You know how it is, the French say something beautiful and we butcher it with our bogan accents

Turns out I was wrong because macaroons and macarons are distinctly different things. 

Maca-rons are the beautiful French melt-in-your-mouth biccies I mentioned. 

Maca-roons are chewy biscuits made of almonds or coconut, often with the gross glace cherry on top. These ones: 

Yum! Source: Getty

The funny thing is, once I was informed of the difference between the two biscuits I had a kind of “ah-ha!” moment. A part of my subconscious knew that the chewy coconut biscuits were called macaroons. But the main, functioning part of my brain had still managed to ignore that nugget of knowledge my whole life and continue to assume that macaroons and macarons were the same. 

Basically, my brain is stupid. 

That, or it’s a conspiracy, because every time I typed ‘macaroon’ into a search engine the colourful French kind kept coming up.

-gif- confused

Me neither, Sharpay. Source: Giphy

I feel it is my responsibility to enlighten you all to this small fact just in case you too are living in ignorant bliss. 

Pay it forward. 

Weet-Bix Is The Most Underrated Cereal, Hear Me Out

Don’t hate, appreciate.

Weet-Bix is an Australian icon. It’s not quite on the same level as Vegemite or Aeroplane Jelly – mainly because it’s not as tasty- but it’s up there. 

I’m here to reject the “Weet-Bix isn’t tasty” way of thinking. I’m here to challenge how you view cereal all together. 

Sure, Weet-Bix is fundamentally dry and flavourless and sticks to your mouth like wet cardboard when you have a mouthful that’s slightly too big. But it doesn’t have to be that way, friends. There’s a whole world of Weet-Bix variations that are genuinely tasty and won’t remind you even a little bit about the soggy mush your mum tried to force feed you as a child. 

Juuuust enough. Source: Giphy

Weet-Bix is way too underrated, and it’s time it reclaimed its throne. And it all starts with how you put the Weet-Bix in your bowl. 

A tip: don’t just pile the blocks on top of each other- you’re setting yourself up for disaster.  Breaking each Weet-Bix apart with a spoon is much more difficult than it seems and by the time you finally manage to break them down into bite-sized portions the milk you also poured into the bowl has made them soggy, and no one likes overly soggy cereal. 

Instead, use your hands to break apart the Weet-Bix as you put them in your bowl. It will save you work and time, which means you’ll avoid soggy cereal territory. 

Another thing that’s important is the milk to Weet-Bix ratio. Dousing your Weet-Bix in half a litre of milk is not proper conduct. Instead, put just enough milk in the bowl to help moisten the cereal (so it doesn’t scratch your oesophagus on the way down) but not totally ruin it’s texture. 

About a centimetre or two in the bottom of the bowl is the way to go. If you want more milk, you can add more milk. But you can never take milk away. 

You are so welcome. Source: Giphy

If you’re the kind of monster that likes their cereal soggy, then ignore the top two points and just continue from here.

The next most important thing with Weet-Bix is flavour. On its own, Weet-Bix basically tastes like oatey paper. But, add some honey and fresh fruit and your breakfast will suddenly be transformed from drab to fab. 

Exactly. Source: Giphy

WARNING: honey and fruit will sweeten the milk which may cause a euphoric state. 

If you’re feeling especially boujee, you can add Milo to your Weet-Bix too. Another Aussie staple to help you start your day the right way and chocolate milk to finish – thank me later. 

So welcome. Source: Giphy

The versatility of Weet-Bix is also severely underrated. You don’t just have to eat it as cereal. You can slice each brick in half and use them as crackers with your favourite toppings. 

You can also use Weet-Bix as a supplement for oats in smoothies, or crush them up and use them as the crust in apple crumble. The possibilities are endless. 

Now go forth and use your newfound skills, young grasshoppers. And remember, it’s not about how many you do, but what you do with the many. 

To Weet-Bix! Source: Giphy

Why Do You Insist On Having Dessert For Breakfast, You Sugar-Hoofing Heathens?

Sugar is not a food group.

I will be the first person to admit I have a chocolate problem. Not that I think chocolate is a problem, it’s a solution. But if it came down to me choosing Nutella or a bath, I would probably choose Nutella. Hence, a problem. 

I really do. Source: Giphy

I would happily eat chocolate for every single meal bar one: breakfast. I refuse to have chocolate for breakfast because, and this may come as a shock to some, chocolate is not a breakfast food. 

I love Nutella but it doesn’t belong on toast. It belongs smeared over waffles with vanilla ice-cream or on a silver spoon while I eat it from the jar. 

Chocolate croissants, scones and porridge should not be eaten in the morning either. 

Actually, no food with a sugar content as high as your dessert should be eaten before 12pm. This means pancakes those pancakes you went to get because they’re rainbow coloured and have fairy floss on them are out. 

So are those waffles with icing sugar and that french toast that’s covered in maple syrup. I don’t care if it has bacon on it, it should not be eaten as your first meal of the day. 

NO.

Cereals are a tricky one. Technically they’re a breakfast food- they’re designed specifically to have with milk and start your day with an energy kick. 

But cereals have developed over the years from full of fibre to full of cellulite, diabetes and artery clogging badness. 

Oreo’s new cereal has marshmallows in it- marshmallows. When did pillows of pure sugar become an acceptable breakfast food? 

Never. The answer is never. 

Australia just did a re-evaluation of it’s Health Star Rating (HSR) system and, honestly, the findings when it came to cereals are pretty bad. 

The cereals we think are ‘healthy’ like Kellogg’s Nutri Grain and Nestle Milo (I repeat, chocolate is not for breakfast) have a lot more added sugar than they do naturally occurring sugars. Which means they’re more likely to rot your teeth than assist you on your health kick. 

When rated using the new health star algorithm, Nutri Grain, Milo and Uncle Tobys Plus Protein cereals all dropped from a HSR of 4 to 1.5. 

This legitimises my point: the more sugar there is in your breakfast the less good it is for you which means you shouldn’t be eating it. 

I’m not saying ever. I would be a hypocrite if I said that- I love me some sugar. Chocolate problem, remember? 

But it’s about not forming bad habits by excusing sugary foods as breakfast foods- pancakes smothered in syrup and berry compote are a dessert even if the menu tells you otherwise. 

Stop hoovering dessert for breakfast, for goodness sake. 

It’s no fun to eat if for breakfast anyway: why have it a 9am sitting in your dining room when you can go out for a gelato or freshly bakes crêpes after dinner? 

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