Bleats

This Flat Earther’s ‘Space Is Fake!’ Music Video Is Actually A Work Of Creative Genius

Conspiracy Music Guru absolutely killed it at the International Flat Earth Conference last week.

Last Thursday and Friday, hundreds of flat earth believers gathered in Denver, Colorado, for the annual International Flat Earth Conference. From my perspective it’s all extremely wild stuff. But hey, what do I know? I’m just a non-believer.

For the flat earthers who attend it’s a space to find acceptance for their now-infamous conspiracy that the earth is, in fact, flat, with some kind of hemisphere dome containing the moon and sun within.

By nature of being such an extreme conspiracy group, there are a lot of other extremist/problematic views harboured by the flat earth crowd – ranging from your basic racism to the belief that the Sandy Hook massacre was fake. Obviously those are far from funny, but the passionate belief that the earth is flat is very funny.

Which is why this music video that debuted at the conference is the highlight of the whole thing. And that’s including the fact that controversial YouTuber Logan Paul appeared as the celebrity guest speaker, claiming to be a believer and promising to cover the conference on his YouTube channel, but is clearly taking the piss. Great scam.

Anyway, behold this music video/creative masterpiece by flat earther artist Conspiracy Music Guru: ‘Space is Fake!’

Let’s appreciate the absolute lyrical gold that is this chorus:

“There’s no such thing as outer space,
We made it all up yea space is fake.
It’s the greatest lie that’s ever been told,
The biggest trick you’ve ever been sold.
We’ve been pushing this satanic lie,
Space is a drug and everybody high.
It’s only your imagination that’s been to space,
Ladies and gentleman, space is fake.”

And the visuals are actually very impressive. Conspiracy Music Guru clearly has an expert knowledge of internet meme culture and his use of green screen and dynamic visual elements is amazing.

Great charts!

Great imagery!

Great special effects!

To be clear, I’m not supportive of Conspiracy Music Guru’s flat earth theory, or his connection of NASA to Hitler, or really any points he makes in this video. Space is not fake, but ‘Space is Fake!’ is grade A entertainment, so credit where it’s due.

Excuse Me, Is Ariana Grande About To Drop Thank U Next Part 2 And Spill Some More Tea?

It’s looking like we’ve got a classic Ariana song tease on our hands.

Remember when Ariana Grande dragged her ex-fiancé Pete Davidson on Twitter with some gloriously messy posts, including the words, “thank u, next”?

And then a few days later dropped the absolute bop ‘thank u, next’ that literally expresses her untainted gratitude to all her ex-boyfriends, thus revealing that the Twitter drama was, in fact, a lyrical preview?

WELL. It looks a whole lot like Ariana is back on her bullsh*t and teasing a new song via some cryptically lyrical Twitter posts. For instance:

“good at overthinking w my heart …. how u even think it got this far”

She backed it up with a video of her singing a new song with just piano accompaniment, and it’s so damn beautiful. The video is captioned ‘needy ass’, which put together with the lyrics teased so far makes it sound like this song is going to give us even more insight into her past (and perhaps recent) relationships.

Ariana fans have been quick to notice the very Ari-like hints at a new track, and people are feeling fairly impatient and demanding to say the least.

https://twitter.com/successtul/status/1062948332446740480?

https://twitter.com/kaysgrande/status/1062948605240082432?

https://twitter.com/pginolii/status/1062949748376768513?

Basically, we want the new Ariana track (and album), and we want it now. Please.

The World’s First Female Roadie Is An Aussie Legend With Intel On How To Close The Gender Gap Behind The Scenes

Tana Douglas has the most excellent collection of anecdotes and wisdom from decades of dominating in a male-dominating space.

Of all the roles in the music industry, none are more stereotyped as a ‘man’s job’ than the road crew.

It’s undeniable that the better the diversity behind the scenes, the more welcoming the space becomes to diverse people. So we really need for these roles to be seen as viable career options for anyone and everyone.

Because for things to change we have to make it happen. That’s the advice given by the world’s first female roadie, Tana Douglas, when GOAT had the opportunity to interview the Aussie legend.

“I think from now on it’s just going to get easier and easier,” she said.  “But, only if we’re insistent, and we turn up. You’ve gotta turn up to be accepted.”

The road crew/roadies are the people who make live music performances possible. They’ll travel on tour and be in charge of everything from the sound to the lighting to all the nitty gritty bits involved with setting up the stage. So it’s most definitely not just a ‘man’s job’, but it’s definitely male-dominated.

Douglas claims the title of first female roadie after entering the industry in the 70’s and spending the next decades working with huge acts across the continent and globe from AC/DC and INXS to Elton John and Iggy Pop, The Who and Ozzy Osbourne.

Hers is an inspiring story that has recently been profiled in the new book, Roadies – the Secret History of Australian Rock’n’Roll, by renowned author Stuart Coupe.

In conversation, Tana Douglas speaks so warmly of her career on the road that it really makes you want to turn up to the nearest gig, volunteer to push cases, and dive head first into roadie life.

“You know the best part always, is when the house goes to black, and the band steps on stage, and the audience just, as one, loses their mind.” She said. 

In saying that, the love for her career clearly hasn’t masked the industry’s flaws. Most notably: the gender gap.

Douglas puts the portion of female crew members at an approximate (and dismal) 5% to this day, and notes that it was years and years before she was in a position to even hire another women to join her crew.

But her views on change are practical and optimistic, which is exactly what we need right now.

We need girls and women get in there and give it a crack, and that starts with changing the messaging so that it’s not just seen as a ‘man’s job’.

“We’re not going to get invited.” She said. “We just have to be that fun house guest that crashes a dinner. The one that’s fun though and gets along with everyone so hey, why not stay and have dinner? They’ll make a place for you at the table eventually.”

Encouraging girls to go after the opportunities that are coded as male is a huge part of the battle.

In triple j’s 2016 Hack ‘Girls to the Front’ reportthe Director Member Relations at APRA AMCOS, Milly Petriella, highlighted that there are more girls than boys pursuing music in high school, but that flips at the point of leaving school and entering the workforce.

“It’s almost like it’s 80% women when girls are younger, and in school, and it swaps around to 80% men when we’re talking about the workforce.” She said.

So clearly, we need to put energy towards telling girls and women that these jobs are ours for the taking, because we are every bit as talented and capable as anyone else.

To take down the gender gap, we need to follow in the footsteps of legendary women like Tana Douglas, who never let the status quo stop her from pursuing what she wants.

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