Bleats

You’re Actually Spending Less On Luxuries Than Your Parents Did, So Don’t Let Them Lecture You

Take that, fam.

Friends, our time has come – the spending stats are finally on our side. You officially have evidence to use in your favour next time a baby boomer tries to prosecute you for enjoying a light brunch in the city, thanks to the Grattan Institute’s Generation Gap report.

As well as finding that “the wealth of households under 35 has barely moved since 2004”, the report also showed that under 25s are the only group spending less on non-essential goods now than they were back in the late 80s.

Generation Gap report 2019, The Grattan Institute.

Recreational activities who? We don’t know her!

Obviously the cost of living has rocketed for everyone, we already knew that and we’ve been feeling it for a while now. But Millennials are struggling with it the most, and we know now that it’s not because of the lattes, avocados, or wagyu beef.

More than half of households headed by an under-25-year-old have experienced at least one indicator of financial stress – not that the quarter of 75+ year-olds going through it is great either. Spending your paycheck on your mortgage repayment shouldn’t compromise your ability to have a hot meal. Call me a radical!

Some of the pearls of wisdom are so foreboding that it’s like hearing an omen from the Oracle of Delphi – if she was a very dry data analyst. “If low wage growth is the ‘new normal’”, the report says, “then Australia could have a generation emerge from young adulthood with lower incomes than the one before.”

And sure, it might be fear-mongering a little, but with a recession supposedly right around the corner, it’s not like there’s no cause for concern. Besides, I’m hardly a statistician – who am I to argue with the ABS?

Some of the luxuries we’re spending less on seem kind of obvious, I have to say. Less on household goods and furnishings? Duh, we’ve got Kmart. Clothes too? Nothing wrong with a bit of Target fashion here and there, and it seems like every store has a different sale on every day. Although maybe all the avocado toasts are included in the ‘food’ tally, so I guess that means we all have have guilty pleasures to account for. Yikes.

Robert Pattinson Says He Smells Like A Crayon And I Need To Know Which Colour

Another wild yarn from R-Patz.

Robert Pattinson has gained quite a reputation for spinning wild yarns during interviews, but his most recent comments on his body odour have me truly shaken.

In a recent interview with Allure the star of the upcoming The Batman film said, “Lots of people tell me I smell like a crayon.”

The interviewer – understandably bewildered by this statement – then asked, “Like you’re made of wax?”

To which R-Patz responded, “Yes! Like I’m embalmed.”

I have so many questions. What colour crayon does Pattinson smell like? What brand? Is he using lots of crayons? And most importantly, who are these multiple people who are telling him he smells like crayon!? Is that an insult, or a compliment?

It’s not the first time Robert Pattinson’s scent has come up in conversation. Back in 2009, E! News reported that an unidentified source who worked “very closely” with the actor on New Moon said “he stinks.”

“I mean, it’s awful,” the source said. “He never showers, and it drives people on the set crazy.”

“He completely reeks,” an unidentified crew member added. Yikes.

It’s been over a decade since then, so we can only hope Robert Pattinson has swapped his lack of showering for an obsession with crayons. 

Speaking of celebrity scents, celebrity tattoo artist Lauren Winzer dishes on what Post Malone smells like on It’s Been A Big Day For…below:

During his interview with Allure, Pattinson was also asked about being recently named the “most handsome man” in the world according to science.

“It’s weird,” he said. “I never was really up for the good-looking-guy roles, because I’ve always been quite awkward when meeting people.”

“My Harry Potter role was a good-looking guy, and it was a shock that it was quite easy to get. And then in Twilight, [Edward is] beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. When I turned up for the auditions, I had done a job where I’d dyed my hair black, because I had an inch and a half of roots, and I had waxed my body. And then I had a few months where I’d been drinking beer all day, so I had this hairless, chubby body. I looked like a baby with a wig on.”

Hairless, chubby, waxed or smelling like a crayon – we’ll take Robert Pattinson any which way.

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